As a Christmas procrastinator extraordinaire, I am most thankful for little-girl-Robin, who wrote today’s post over three decades ago. She must have known that in the future, I would put off whatever I could until the last minute, and then cram as much in as possible in a single day. I wish I had found her buried treasure in college; it might’ve helped me out a time or two when I was on a deadline.

This is vintage me: I waited until this week to photograph my children for a picture to send out with Christmas cards (which one of y’all had hers addressed in freakin’ NOVEMBER and was worried about sending them out too soon?? smack, smack! 😉 ). Murphey’s Law is raging in these parts…BOTH our digital cameras are on the blitz 🙁 (I really NEEDED to win Ree’s little competition) and although I tried to take pictures, Rachel AND Thomas are sick, add in two sick cameras, and I got nothin’. Nada. Blurry, red-eyed nightmares, kids AND photographs themselves (lol). Soooo, I scrolled through some beach pictures and chose one where they’re all genuinely happy, even though it’s not what I’d really like to send out (you know, the “perfect” perfectly-staged fake-smile-so-mom-will-hurry-up-when-they’re-annoying-the-snot- outta- each-other-between-clicks shot). I had copies made today, the cards hopefully will go out BEFORE Christmas, but most won’t likely make it until after. Have I mentioned I haven’t even begun addressing them?

You might ask, “Why bother?”. Tad did. This is one of those things I’m SURE drive him crazy about me (it drives ME crazy about me!). But….I LOVE to receive cards from old friends, especially those who live out of town–it’s our way of seeing their children grow up. A lot changes in a year. And I really don’t care if they arrive in December or in time for Groundhog Day.

So, once I post, you’ll know what I’m up to–some of which I bet y’all are up to, some of which you’ve already done…wrapping presents, cooking goodies, completing Christmas cards and maybe cleaning (ha! now THAT’S likely…about as much as a white Christmas in the Tennefreakinsee Valley!).

So, without further pontification about the minutia of my life, here are a few excerpts from my little book. Obviously, we were to write stories with a moral; just as obvious, I didn’t mind plagiarizing. These might be funny only to me, but if you’re looking for at least a smile (as you remember your own elementary creative writing assignments), I hope you find one.

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