Do you remember "the girl"–your FRIEND–who was absolutely, positively drop-dead gorgeous back in college, and on your BEST-lookin’ night out she could STILL reduce you to, I dunno, one of those "after meth" poster girls, or a Yasmin Bleeth mug shot or a kibble-eating canine–and as cute as dogs are that is NOT the look you’re going for when you’re 22 and its happy hour, and within an hour, you hope to be very happy. Or how about Greek mixers and socials, and because she was your friend, you arrived together, but within minutes, she didn’t "need" you anymore, or worst of all…ugh…she DID stick to you, and guys, enamored by her siren appeal, would wistfully say to you (while staring at her) "Aren’t her eyes the most amazing eyes you’ve ever seen?". Her name was Pam.
Well, I am well beyond college bar hoppin’ but it all came flash-flooding back last weekend, when I went to visit my SC best friends Erin and Gina following our annual Valentine par-tay. Ai yi yi, I walked into Gina’s house and THIS greeted me (guys, you may thank me):
Gina, at 39, is a petite size two or four, not one ounce of cellulite has found its way to her body, she has Elizabeth Taylor violet eyes…AND she’s endowed with a beautiful cleavage. I am happily married, totally hetero, but even I can appreciate it. If I didn’t love her, I might hate her, except she’s so sweet she’s not hateable and I don’t do that anyway (not even thugs who smash my car window out).
The three of us were headed out to a local pub, and because I was dressed (ahem, cough cough) more conservatively, I told her to
change. I tried to explain to her that with those on display, we (she) would be attracting a LOT of attention when all we wanted was a nice, quiet, girls night. She told me I was jealous. I explained to her, that I, too, could have a set of those for five grand, but I was much more inclined to remain a small package of dynamite.
(My cashmere sweater, at right, took it up a notch in red…couldn’t find a picture of that, so here it is in black…on a model-y stranger)
She kept on the skanky lingerie breast-posé sexy top and we headed to THE local hot spot.
It is no overstatement to tell you the POWER those big boys had when she walked into the room. Magnetic. Whiplash inducing. POWER! Reminded me of the episode of Designing Women when Mary Jo (Annie Potts) was contemplating augmentation, and "tried some on for size" by stuffing her bra–and after turning heads at a bar, said, "These things are power!". I think I saw a few men cry.
Anyway, we DID have a great night out and no one bothered Gina us. Erin and I, totally confident in our looks and intelligence charm and personality who we "are" didn’t mind heads spinning over Gina or her chest (which had taken on a life of its own).
But on another day, in another time, it was a brief reminder of what it’s like to be invisible.
I hope I always…ALWAYS…see people as a WHOLE, not as a sum of their parts….
Hehe, and as I told Gina, anything you say…or do…or WEAR…can and WILL be blogged against you;). I don’t think of it as revenge, I think of it as "there’s no such thing as bad press".
(photo removed…)
See, the first question I like to ask when someone starts talking about a friend is an indirect quote from Road Trip: “Is she hot?” You’ve already answered that one. Glad you had a nice night out.
Mark…red-savina-habanero scorchin’ ;). Did I mention she has three eyes, multiple warts with hair sprouting and a goiter?
heck Robin..
guys may OOOgle her.
But they GOOGLE you!!!!
Yup – my best friend in College was like that too. I always felt like a tag-along at parties, but you know what. I ended up having to get her out of more jams, save her from herself many times, and pull her away from the guy who wanted to take her home (when she was in no condition to think straight about it). So – sometimes it’s a good thing being the “ugly” one!!
I thought of about 6 things to say so far and they all sound snarky, so I’ll just say that I’m glad you had a good night.
I have mixed feelings…on one hand, good for her that she can pull it off and look that good. On the other hand, I just don’t get why she’d want to dress like an 18-20 year old.
AND…wasn’t she cold?????
Pamela, I’ve googled my real name before (first and last), but it’s not me who comes up…but when I google “Robin” and “Pensieve” (or just Pensieve), it’s there, first page (which is cool to me, ’cause I can remember when my blog was no where to be found…happy dance, happy dance 🙂 ). More entries are tied to the original Blogger site than my Pensieve TyepPad site.
Karmyn, My ego was strong enough to think there was something wrong with THEM–ha–although it makes me wonder if I ever made anyone feel invisible :(….I hope not! I hope this doesn’t sound like insecurity or an inferiority complex, it really was a funny chain of events, and I was fixated on her “top” as much or more than anyone.
Willowtree, BE NICE, but you really ought to let one or two fly…I can handle it (and if not, there’s that suuuweet “delete” command 😉 ).
Claudia, I TRIED to remind her it was FREEZING (but I guess when you’re that HOT temperatures are irrelevant ???). Actually, there are many more layers to “why” she might wear that (if you click the link, that’s a start). She’s “feeding” something that must need to be fed…so I should be sensitive to the “whys” that motivate, ya know? She gets complete honesty from me (“you look like you’re trolling for men, and ‘they’re’ bait” etc.). I’m hopeful it’s just a phase as she settles post divorce :/….there’s so much more to her than a killer bod.
Blogged against you? Ha, ha, ha- that’s a good one! And by the way, eeewwwww on the expander. My oldest had to have one and considering that I have a huge tooth/mouth phobia, I HATED having to turn the screw every night. (Yes, I know that was from a few days ago, sorry) It was literally like torture. I’m sure you weren’t invisible while you were out, but it is hard to have a “girl’s night out” when one of the girls is really out for boys. And hey, you were honest with your friend and I find that admirable.
This sounds so familiar. Wish we could leave the boobs at home some nights.
Jenn, Everyone in my life speaks at risk…but I rarely actually “use” their stuff. If I did, I wouldn’t have any friends left 🙂 (although most of them don’t read me).
But, I HATED TURNING IT, TOO! Expanders are a device of the devil, but I think God redeems them by fixing your teeth…
Min, I don’t have many girls’ nights out (I’m too much a family girl, I guess), so that aspect of it was kind of weird. Mostly, I just laughed AT her on the outside, but felt deeply for her on the inside….:/.
Mm-hm. Yup. I’m that invisible one, too.
And I remember that episode! Funny stuff.
Cute story! I usually “do lunch” with the girls… don’t get to see how they dress at night. I guess we should double date more. :~) (We did go for Italian food with some friends recently though.)
Hey, I like your cashmere sweater. No, really. What brand???? I’d love to buy it. I’ll buy something other than red, OK?