Do you remember "the girl"–your FRIEND–who was absolutely, positively drop-dead gorgeous back in college, and on your BEST-lookin’ night out she could STILL reduce you to, I dunno, one of those "after meth" poster girls, or a Yasmin Bleeth mug shot or a kibble-eating canine–and as cute as dogs are that is NOT the look you’re going for when you’re 22 and its happy hour, and within an hour, you hope to be very happy. Or how about Greek mixers and socials, and because she was your friend, you arrived together, but within minutes, she didn’t "need" you anymore, or worst of all…ugh…she DID stick to you, and guys, enamored by her siren appeal, would wistfully say to you (while staring at her) "Aren’t her eyes the most amazing eyes you’ve ever seen?". Her name was Pam.
Well, I am well beyond college bar hoppin’ but it all came flash-flooding back last weekend, when I went to visit my SC best friends Erin and Gina following our annual Valentine par-tay. Ai yi yi, I walked into Gina’s house and THIS greeted me (guys, you may thank me):
Gina, at 39, is a petite size two or four, not one ounce of cellulite has found its way to her body, she has Elizabeth Taylor violet eyes…AND she’s endowed with a beautiful cleavage. I am happily married, totally hetero, but even I can appreciate it. If I didn’t love her, I might hate her, except she’s so sweet she’s not hateable and I don’t do that anyway (not even thugs who smash my car window out).
The three of us were headed out to a local pub, and because I was dressed (ahem, cough cough) more conservatively, I told her to change. I tried to explain to her that with those on display, we (she) would be attracting a LOT of attention when all we wanted was a nice, quiet, girls night. She told me I was jealous. I explained to her, that I, too, could have a set of those for five grand, but I was much more inclined to remain a small package of dynamite.
(My cashmere sweater, at right, took it up a notch in red…couldn’t find a picture of that, so here it is in black…on a model-y stranger)
She kept on the
skanky lingerie breast-posé sexy top and we headed to THE local hot spot.
It is no overstatement to tell you the POWER those big boys had when she walked into the room. Magnetic. Whiplash inducing. POWER! Reminded me of the episode of Designing Women when Mary Jo (Annie Potts) was contemplating augmentation, and "tried some on for size" by stuffing her bra–and after turning heads at a bar, said, "These things are power!". I think I saw a few men cry.
Anyway, we DID have a great night out and no one bothered
Gina us. Erin and I, totally confident in our looks and intelligence charm and personality who we "are" didn’t mind heads spinning over Gina or her chest (which had taken on a life of its own).
But on another day, in another time, it was a brief reminder of what it’s like to be invisible.
I hope I always…ALWAYS…see people as a WHOLE, not as a sum of their parts….
Hehe, and as I told Gina, anything you say…or do…or WEAR…can and WILL be blogged against you;). I don’t think of it as revenge, I think of it as "there’s no such thing as bad press".