My apologies in advance, but this is the kind of thing Mindy asked for for this week’s 
Fun Monday.
Check out the challenge and then have some fun with it yourself. "To compose an exceptionally bad opening sentence for any piece of
writing (not limited to novels…but not including blog posts) and to
include a photograph or brief description of some aspect of that
sentence."
I’m posting mine on Sunday for overseas readers who are enjoying Monday a day early (talk about poor sentence structure!); it really does help to get a head start with so many people playing along. Between blog-partying and Fun Mondaying, this is gonna be some kind of week …. :/.
Here goes nothing…….:
Unable to stop the blood-red tributaries of…well…blood, as with every beat of her heart it waterfalled down her knee then shin then streamed down either side of her ankle, she became lost in the scarlet realization that a single miscue would set into motion an ocean of results and consequences that would carve out their mark, scarring her forever, leaving a crimson path in their wake, and as her eyes pooled over with a salty sea of tears, her cheeks heated and blushed, she couldn’t believe the irony that her choice of a five-bladed razor instead of a double would become a metaphor for her life.
Well. There you have it. Definitely made me snort my coffee, and for that, thank you.
Oh man – I seriously don’t know who wrote the best/worst awful sentence – you or Pamela. You are equally horrible in your quest for authorship of exceptionally bad opening sentences.
Well done, darling!
Yep that’s pretty bad alright. And with a picture too!
Ha! I freaking love it. Deliciously awful.
Terrifically bad. And I love the name of your blog – I’m visiting from the Blog party. I’ll be back.
Wow.. bad, I mean good. I mean wonderfully bad. Or badly wonderful.
I had to read it a second time…. to linger over each thought and feel your essence. Then I coughed and the moment was lost.
I’d read this book for sure!! This sentence is a metaphor for my life.
That’s by far the “DEEPEST” bad sentence! Very good (or should I say stinky?)
What a grogeous picture!! Wonderful work!!
You crack me up, lady! Your sentence is awful (and by awful, in this case, I mean good). I think I’m too late to participate in this, or I would definately make a terrible sentence, complete with made up words and other awfulocity. 🙂
Although your post does pose another question-Could you write a whole book in one sentence? How long could you write in one sentance and have your sentance still make sense?
The world may never know.
LOL it’s so very bad that it’s good.
Brilliantly bad Robin, I love it!
that was deep in a disturbingly bad sort of way!
Wait. How can a five-bladed razor BECOME a metaphor for the life she is ENDING? How can it BECOME anything it it’s all ENDING? Isn’t the end the END? Or is it really the end of the beginning? Or the beginning of the end? (Have you written an appendix to this work yet?)
Mockature of the cheesy fiction industry is approaching light-speed on the Pensieve blog, folks.;)
Wonderfully bad, great picture, though!
Doesn’t we all feel this way when we’re shaving our legs?
wicked good bad stuff
dunno about scarlet realisations, but enid’s having a green envious moment. what an absolutely terrible sentence, so smooth and silky and easy on the skin, er ear. well done!
Happens to me when I shave without being fully awake EVERY single time.
That sentence was “awfully” good…
Tracey, why thank you :)!
Kelly, oh, my, the highest of praise (and thank you) :).
…and Willowtree
…and Jenny
Carrie, will you really come back? Because there are 600+ people coming to the party and I don’t know how ANYONE’S gonna keep up with ANYBODY…:/
Pamela, see my reply to Kelly…it fits you, too :).
Min, no, no, NO! You AREN’T supposed to read it…but why did I find it rather loverly that you would (lol)?
Karmyn…hmmmm….deep? Y e a h, THAT’S what I was going for, deep like a cut that penetrated to bone….;).
Why, thank you Wendy! Are you Mindy’s twin sister?
Mrs. Lady, follow Beccy’s link…she did just that!
Thank you Chris and Beccy, y’all know this wasn’t the easiest of Fun Mondays…:/.
Nikki, I’m honored…:)
Erin, you would’ve been so good at this, I can feel it in my bones, mockature or not;).
Lisa, I shoulda credited where I got the picture, but I forgot…:/ :(.
That’s why I don’t shave my legs, Sabrina…;).
Oh, Enid, me likey your comment…it’s sooo colorful!
Margaret, YOU SHAVE IN YOUR SLEEP???!!! E-GADS WOMAN!
Amy, who would’ve thunk I’d LOVE being told how awful I write? Not me, flea 🙂 🙂 🙂
Read as comic content, which I presume it to be, the silliness combined with the over-the-top repetition of red and water references culminated in something very funny to read. It seemed like the sort of thing a very verbose child would ramble off in describing her skinned knee, complete with dramatic expressions and hand waving.
That was me this morning! Great, uh, bad sentence.
Dear robin. Oh my gosh. I am feeling wobbly from the mentions of blood… Your picture will haunt me in my dreams tonight!
James, comic? I was dead serious, nothing funny about it.
hehe, you read it spot on, exactly the “feel” I had writing it. But wait a second, are you calling me a verbose child???? A drama queen? YOU’RE CALLING ME NAMES???? Hmmph! The salty tears are overflowing in my bloodshot weary eyes…;).
Ooooo, Bethany, I’m so sorry. Here’s a bandage to stop the HEMORRHAGE!
Dear Little Miss Moi, uh, oh, that’s not good. Here, take some smelling salts…they’re from the ocean :).
Yikes! I threw up a little in my mouth.
hehehe…well done!!
Liza, a vomit comment? I think I may have arrived…!
Claudia, thanks, I think :).
brilliant bad sentence!
so much red! so much trauma! so much blood! I read it twice 🙂
OUCHHHHH! I read every word, (and I wish I hadn’t.) OK, so you scored! Glad you had a fun Monday at our expense, kiddo. Hugs! :~)
Jenn…when once is not enough 😉 :)…
Thanks, e-Mom :)…writing it was kind of fun, in a freakish, bloggity kind of way!
Yes, Min is a twin! Well, sort of! Everyone has a terrible time telling us apart, even though we do not resemble each other in the least! It made our other sister so insecure, especially when we kept telling her she was adopted! (Tried to spell everything right this time!!)