W I N C E.
Question posed yesterday afternoon while Tad and I were on a leisurely stroll speed-walked our neighborhood. We’re in one of those delightful pre-Spring weather patterns that give you an mmmmm-delicious sip of what’s just around the corner.
"Your blog was a lot better when you just wrote…when you didn’t do all those ‘games’ or whatever you call ’em, I don’t know what you call ’em…."
I didn’t have to "blink. blink". Even though he doesn’t speak Blog, I KNEW what he was talkin’ about because his conclusion was one at which I had already arrived the night before.
I made a mistake.
While I think the "Ultimate Blog Party" is GREAT for many, it’s not for me. I can’t "do it" :/. I just can’t. I tried, but like attending a party that you thought would be ALL THAT, only to arrive and realize it’s loud and overbearing and no one cares that you’re there because there are SO MANY in attendance, I realized that an intimate setting is more my style. 
Don’t get me wrong; I STILL think Janice and Susan are BRILLIANT for coming up with this; they are
generous bloggers who have something substantial to say and offer, and their stated goal (for their site) is to help maximize exposure for bloggers and internet-run businesses. If I was brand new to blogging, I’d be singing a different tune, I’d be reveling with the best of them, wearing a pink-polka dotted party hat and red-hot go-go boots, blowing those little roll-out-horn thingies, trying to visit all 76freakin7 invitees (I’m not kidding, I just checked the number of "registered" party goers!).
But I’m not brand new.
I like my LITTLE blogging community of friends. Again, I just did a check and I have 166 feeds on my reader (I guess that’s artificially inflated, I subscribed to myself so I could see what it looked like when I updated…); I don’t even get to all of those every week (let alone every day). I prefer adding newbies after I’ve followed their comments elsewhere a while, or somehow they "find" me and their quirky/thoughtful/snarky comment captures my attention, or they comment and I follow a link to their blog and there’s instant "chemistry". I remember something MaryMert wrote a while back–"Not everyone is going to like [your blog], and try as you might–you won’t like [everyone else’s blog] either." Yep, that about sums it up.
Now, having said all that, I have to also say this: a few Blog Party Players have commented here, and after returning a visit to their blog, I’ve found some blogchemistry; I know they’ll be bloggers I’ll continue to read (and hope read me). So, I guess you can say "mission accomplished" where the goal of the blog party is concerned.
But it takes TIME to visit new blogs…my blogmates KNOW I’m not a "drive-by" commenter, no siree, no "ring and run" from me. To do so feels … disingenuous … like fakin’ something I shouldn’t be fakin’…. That’s exactly how I felt visiting a sea of strangers. And while I was "there", where ever that "there" was, I found myself thinking "Why am I HERE when I rather be "THERE"?" the "there" being blogpals who I haven’t read in a while (how’s that for a wretched "Fun Monday" sentence? lol).
So, there you go…I’m
leavin’ the party early. It’s ESPECIALLY difficult following Janice’s comments HERE and HERE . Like I said in one of those posts, Janice is a GREAT commenter! My departure is not a back-handed, subtle shot against "5 Minutes…". It’s about guarding t i m e and priorties….
If you happen to be reading this as a result of a party visit, I don’t know quite what to say…I’m glad and appreciative you’re here, if you comment I will CERTAINLY pay a visit to your blog; I’m simply not going party hopping myself.
Dear robin. I love that picture, sums up even the best parties end up being the next day. 166 feeds, holy schpitza! As a new blogger I’m learning how high maintenance this lifestyle is… (but fun, defo fun).
Guess what? I popped in to make a “drive-by” party comment… but your post really hit home. I have to agree. I think it’s a fabulous idea, but I am completely overwhelmed. I started trying to visit all the participants, but it’s what? Day 4… and I’m up to #130? I’m never gonna make it! Like you, I have run into a few “kindred spirits”, which is the whole idea… at least for me. Yeah, I may visit a few more blogs before it’s all said and done… but then again, I may not.
Hi Robin,
I totally respect your decision to drop out. And I like the fact that you were willing to give it a shot too. It’s tough.
These days, I have a hand full of blogs that I read and comment on. It’s not because others aren’t interesting. I just have to prioritize my time and my thoughts. The thought part is the more difficult part for me.
Anyway, glad you’re site’s the way it is. I really enjoy it.
-Mike
Dear Little Miss…you need to take my “speed-blogging” course ;)…it helps!
Karla (can you see me? my cheeks are scarlet), okay, so maybe I feel a bit better, you understand my position without taking offense…that’s a good thing. I’m glad you made it to 130 (and impressed), and like I promised, I’ll pay you a return visit. 🙂
Ah…Mike, you scooted in while I was commenting…
Thanks…your words always encourage (glad I’m in your “circle”!)
I thing the blog party idea is awesome. i just don’t have the energy to keep up with it. i have enough trouble just finding the time to pee by myself without a two year old demanding something.
(note to your picture- that’s what my living room looks like at the end of every day!)
I totally understand. While I’ve found a few new adds to my blogroll (OK, Google Reader if you want to be picky), this whole thing has also convinced me I need to whittle that down to something more manageable… something that won’t happen if I spend all my time blog-hopping.
No flames or criticism from me!
I agree totally with what you are saying. My blogroll is about 70 and that really is enough although I will add more that really tempt me via comments I read or visitors to my blog.
One reason I love Fun Monday is that it introduces me to a few new blogs but is managable.
Thanks for coming by! I’m going to have to figure out how to add the blogline or feed or whatever it is… Soon, I hope.
Yes, Robin –
I realized one day when I was sitting at my computer and Buttercup was completely pestering me and said, “Mama, come play with me and get off your computer.” that I have been blogging too much….
So, instead of taking a break like Susan, I’ve just decided I am content with those friends I have. I’m happy doing what I’m doing.
I won’t ever have 130 comments like Ree, but at this point I don’t care. The outside life is calling too.
I know EXACTLY what you’re talkin’ about! I liked my small little group of blog buddies. But the small group just kept getting bigger and bigger and I was reading more and more…. I felt like it was becoming a “business” – one that I didn’t have the time for. I felt rude if I didn’t comment on someone else’s site when they had commented on mine. And I liked everybody SOOO much!
Maybe I’ll do like Karmyn and just stick with the small circle I have and not worry about hurting feelings – like she said, “The outside life is calling to.” (*sigh*) Too many friends…too little time.
Back to YOU – I’m going to have to side with Tad here. It was your great writing that drew me in to begin with. You have a BEAUTIFUL gift to share. Of course, I’ll still adore you no matter what you do 😉
Yay!
Yeah, I’m not into those “parties” either. I like the people I like.
And I love those boots! I want a pair!
Robin,
I’m a new blogger and commenting so I don’t do a drive-by. Getting to know your blog and enjoying it. I haven’t even looked into the party, but as my blog has always been a lifeline to our friends and fam back home, I’m not ready/looking for mass distribution.
Sounds like a good decision for you! (Jeez, I’m wordy! Enough!)
Nikki, I soooo remember wanting to “pee with a little privacy”…who woulda ever thought THAT to be a luxury??! And the picture? What my house would look like if I wasn’t married to my (thank GOD!) neat-freak hubby.
Karen, I guess a lot of people “get” where I’m coming from…. And thanks for including me in your hop-til-you-drop :).
Beccy, agreed (I love the international flavor of Fun Mondays, don’t you?) :).
Karla, blogging is an on-going lesson, huh? 😉
Karmyn, I’m happy you’re happy “doin’ what you’re doin'”…don’t stop doin’ it that way, kabish?
Susan…..ahhhh, yes…that’s the kind of thing that sends my skirt FLYING! 🙂 😉 I can’t imagine bloggin’ with little ones underfoot, it’s hard enough with BIG ones! I’m just THANKFUL…BLESSED…my path has crossed so many diverse…cool…wonderful people (like you…!).
Heather, if they were actually mine, now they’d be yours. If you wore a 7. And didn’t mind smelly used shoes. I LIKE parties…but this one doesn’t seem to fit :/.
Contradictory to my post, though, I have “met” a few I’d like to keep up with…that’s kind of nice for my brief “in and out”.
Sabrina, Fun Monday has been a neat way to expand s l o w l y. I can see how blogging would be a lifeline for someone in your “circumstances” :). You’ll find I like wordy, afraid I can’t help it once I get goin’ :/. And, yeah, deciding “I’m not cut out for ‘this'” has been liberating, lol.
Dude- I love it! You are totally my speed!! I decided not to be a part of the party, I think it’s a great/fun idea. I just like my little world of bloggy friends – in fact, I’ve been extremely blessed by all the amazing friendships I’ve made – not looking to get 30+ comments after one post! Can I snag your word snarky??? LOVE it! You are one cool chick in my book.
Thanks!
Glad to hear it chica. Sometimes the only way you know what you don’t want is to do it. Parties can be fabulous…but they’re so much better when they’re filled with people you already love.
Okay – me again. Nothing like adding a few more hits to your blog, right?;o)
I just wanted to tell you where I found you. I was over at Chrysalis (I had to look up how to spell that) and thought I’d be nosy and read some of the comments. Well, I just happened on your little juicy morsel and loved it. Loved where you where coming from. THEN I come to your site, and get a even bigger dose…oh yea. Thats what I’m talking about. Thanks for visiting my site – I tend to be a serious blogger, huh? It’s cool. And then, so are you. Heck, so am I.
Okay. I’ll stop.
I’m just here for the shoes. Fabulous!
I totally understand. I didn’t even get the link up.
I do like to find new blogs. I have also found that some blogs I used to read have outgrown me/or me them.
We change right?:)
I don’t do a lot of the things to promote my blog cause I just don’t have time.
A new blog here a new one there and the old friends in between is just about right:)
Here’s to keepin’ it real, Robin.
There’s millions of blogs out there. It’s like lying in a hammock in the middle of night and trippin’ on stars above you. It’s so hard to focus ‘cuz they are all blinkin’
The suprising thing is how bloggers form their own little galaxies. My orbit spins into several –
Kristy, you had me at “Dude–” ;)…and you sound like you’re ON speed!…and you’re nosy…and you think I’m cool and juicy…and we have a mutual bloggity awesome friend…and you know when to stop;).
Jenny, profound, you’ve been of late…I always hear what you DO say…and what you DON’T say 😉 (or maybe I’m just hearin’ imaginary voices, who really knows for sure?) :).
Min, I was waiting on a shoe comment, for heaven’s sake! I figured it’d be Claudia ;).
Malissa, I think you summed it up well…and because I know a little more of your “story” these days, it makes TONS of sense :).
Mark, is that a New York toast? Cheers!
Pamela…Perfectly said. And I agree. Cheers to you, too! 🙂
What a refreshing post. I’ve been bumping along trying to figure out how many blogs I am willing and able to read this week and add to my frequent read list.
I’m new to blogging. It’s become one of my few outlets. I’m a geek at heart with four very young souls to raise. This is a good way for me to balance toddler speak with adult interactions. The variety of blogs presented in the party has given me some inspiration and mommy connections.
The party has been great for me, but I respect and can envision where you are coming from. You already understand your mental blog filter. I’m just figuring mine out.
I love your style and you’ll be one of the few that I bookmark from this week!
Thanks for that perspective. The same thought has crossed my mind too 🙂
Glad the party brought me to your blog though…
Love you always, party girl or no!!
*singing*
Don’t go chang-iiiin’
To try to pleeaase uuusss!!…
We love you just the way you aaaaarrrrre!
I’m with you on the whole blog party thing. It was fun in the beginning but was pretty exhausting by the end. I’m just glad for a few choice ones I’ve discovered like yours!
Although I am a “patyer” from U Blog Party, I actually camin in here through A Dusty Frame. I checked out who commented on her beautiful post ME. I thought it was a very heartfelt post and whoever commented and gave a word of encouragement is worth checking out 🙂
Anyway, I see your point in your post. I’m not leaving early but I definitely slowed down in visiting. I’m a relatively new blogger so I am all so excited about this still 🙂
I bookmarked your blog and will be back for more reading. I wish I know how to do the RSS on my blog but don’t, so I decided until I install taht on my, I won’t subscribe to others either.
Oh, this supposed to be short comment had gone long. Have a nice day!
Lynne, I’m glad you “found” me; although leaving the party “early”, I sure have had some nice guests greet me warmly. Thanks for your kind words.
Chrystal, and after seeing your cutie-patootie squealing like a bathtub banshee, I’m happy you hopped here, too! And I can’t wait to read part two of your “story”…daggum cliffhangers ;).
Stephanie, You DO know that song was playing when Tad asked me to marry him, don’t you. I ** heart ** Billy Joel (and you know I ** heart ** you, too) :).
Amber, yep, back atcha girlie-Q :).
Liza, Dusty’s is a bittersweet read…I cannot imagine walking in her shoes…:/, but she does so beautifully. Me likey long comments, especially when they’re nice and kind (or sharp and snarky) and blow all kinds of air up my skirt. A stiff breeze does a body good!
NO WORRIES!!!!!!
I never wanted people to think that they HAD to party blog visit everyday! I NEVER expected ANYONE to visit the entire list! I only expect myself to do that since I am the hostess.
I DON’T even think you are leaving early! You participated, you are done! NO WORRIES!!!! (so your mail is safe! ;))
And when I said I wanted you to attend – I meant ATTEND – NOT go crazy and stress out by visiting too many people!
I sure hope people will only visit a number that is appropriate. GOOD GRIEF we are MOMS with LIVES!!! I never want anyone to ignore their kids to blog hop!!!
Personally, I can’t spend hours everyday blog visiting. I try to visit people who comment on mine – but just like with my real life friends who I don’t get to see enough of, life is busy and I don’t get to “play” all day!
I SURE HOPE people will not get stressed out over the whole thing. It is just about having FUN and visiting a few new blogs. NOT 800 new blogs!!!! BUT, I do hope that people scan through the list and visit different numbers – I would hate it if only the first 100 got visitors!
So NO WORRIES!!!!!!!
Crap……..I was hoping you wouldn’t come back, dang it! LOL
I think you know me well enough, Janice, to get where I’m coming from. You said it better here in your comment than I did on my blog. From the little I hopped, it’s clear this is MAKING A DIFFERENCE to a lot of bloggers :), they’re having tons o’ fun (and that’s the point).
Soooo, no worries, I’m just a little shy I didn’t walk over to ya (as hostess) and letcha know it was time for me to go home ;).
Thanks for the invite…cause if I wasn’t invited, well, then, that woulda been a whole ‘nother post ;).
I planned to participate. As the list of prizes grew, I could see this was going to turn into more than I have time for right now. I’m hopping around visiting blogs that catch my eye. I thought you sounded friendly. 🙂
Its nice to meet you!
I will be perfectly honest-I’m glad I popped in here, but I only added 3 people, maybe looked at a dozen pages, and then stopped the whole party thing. I go to EVERY page of EVERY person that comments on mine, but I’m not much of a partier myself. Oh well. I am glad I added you though-your blog is fun and interesting 😀
Yowzer! She tells it like it is! With no apologies. You make a good point. If we were newbies to blogging, it might be a different story. I did a day or two of party-time, enjoyed myself immensely, but didn’t stay for the karaoke. (Same story at my HS reunion.) Getting to know a new blogger does take time. SO glad I made your acquaintance some time ago… :~)
I’ve thought a lot about this too. I’ve really changed the way I blog lately, because I need to be authentic to myself. When a game works, great, but if it isn’t “like” me, then I don’t participate. Looks like lots of people had fun at the blog party, though – totally cool! That’s just not my style even IRL, so definitely not in blogland either.
Janice and Susan are so great, anyway. I believe her when she says “no worries”.