Years ago, when my children were pre-schoolers, our friend Frankie commented, "When you’re a parent, you’ll touch about anything."
This remark followed my telling him and his wife about the "clean-up" I had encountered earlier that day. Rachel was potty training and she had "filled" the commode with all sorts of toddler-toxic human waste–amazing the amount a child who eats n.o.t.h.i.n.g. can generate. When she flushed (a child’s immediate reward for "going" in the potty; Barbie underwear, M&Ms or a trip to the Disney Store are delayed gratification), the water went up, not down. I was with her (skilled wiping doesn’t come for years :/), so, with horror, I could do nothing but watch as the toilet overflowed. OF COURSE, Tad was at work.
I ran to the linen closet and threw towels on the floor to attempt to dam the impending flood that was nearing our carpeted hallway. Because her "job" had been the serious business of #2, it wasn’t just colored water covering the bathroom floor, it was the swimming pool scene from Caddyshack all over again, but without the humor and Baby Ruths. I’m not sure where the plunger was, but feeble memory tells me I was shrieking like a banshee and flinging Rachel to carpeted safety, and had there been "any" left, scaring the crap out of her while I tried to do three things at once.
Ironically, I was reminded of this yesterday when I had to perform yet another heroic act of motherhood, this, the day before our most celebrated of days. Yes, as every mother will agree, there have been countless similar scenes that have taken place through the years that attest to my mother-ability to touch anything–vomit, snot, poop, boogs, blood, bugs, frogs, lizards, snakes–all usually without the aid of rubber gloves. Things "happen" way too fast to reach for those.
It’s Springtime as you know, and in the South that means "tick and flea" season for our outdoor/indoor pets. We check daily, and usually either Aussie or Callie has picked up some critter, and repulsed, we do whatever we have to do to remove them and squash those suckers into oblivion. Tad does it without the drama. Me? Well, it’s usually some kind of production.
But NEVER like it was yesterday. Although I thought about taking a picture, it was just too disgusting to capture it digitally. Sure, I’ve seen photographs of children with pudding- or snot-encrusted faces on the web; I’ve even seen steaming piles of manure (thanks to Ree and Vicki) that almost stopped my blog hopping.
Callie had a tick.
It was millimeters away from #12 on the diagram. And if there were ANY questions, I DID glove for the procedure!
A mother’s work is never done…;)
Oh yech! Does Advantage work against ticks?
Can you buy Frontline? That is suppose to keep ticks away.
yuck yuck – Fortunately for me, most ticks around here stay in the mountainous areas – so as long as my dogs aren’t jumping around the bush, my backyard is pretty tick-free (I think and hope and pray I’m right)
Thankfully there aren’t ticks in Vancouver. I don’t know if I could have done that…
You are a strong, strong woman.
Oh, my.
Oh, dear.
Actually, I was feeling okay until I read “snot encrusted faces.” You could have left that out, you know. After all, it’s Mother’s Day. Although, pulling a tick off of part #12 is just about as disgusting.
Blech.
And a very good mommy you are! I always say that people with furkids are parents too… they take about as much work and love as kids. 😉
Oh yeah, I know all about the pleasantries of inside/outside animals. I’m not sure I needed QUITE this much detail, though. It makes me strangly think I should look under some tails, though.
EWWWWWW!
hi! i’m here via tiger lamb girl and i still remember my first de-ticking with a rescued westie. Dear God in Heaven, i didn’t know i had it in me. Well, not the tick, of course.
You deserve a very special Mother’s Award for handling the toxic human waste and a TICK. Ewwwww, TICKS, the blood-sucking little buggers are the worst. You are so brave.
Holy crap. You deserve diamonds for that one.
PS. It’s too late to enter the contest but if you still want a pink afro (or some similar design) just send me a picture and I’ll throw something together for you. 🙂
This reminded me of a bad drainage problem I experienced once caused by tree roots in the pipes that involved poo coming up the drainhole in the floor of the shower, while I was in it.
Excuse me, I have to go and wash my feet.
I would have pulled out a bio-hazard suit for that job. And yes, I do keep one in my closet for just those special occasions.
I haven’t been around the last several days – and yet again; you greet me with your wonderful (?????)humor! (the last few posts!)
You make me laugh.
And the tick, of all things. Not even gonna comment anymore on that……
Oh you crack me up. I literally laughed out loud sitting here alone in my office. Thank goodness walked by. Well, I guess I can share my Sunday morning experience with you since you were so kind to share yours. We had the horses in to give them their West Nile Vaccine, wormer and put some stuff on to keep flies, ticks and mosquitos off. Right before we let them out I started checking for ticks. I just so happened to find them on Ruby, Babe, and Hickory. On Ruby and Babe the ticks were in the creases of the front legs (like their leg pit get it…hee hee). Hickory couldn’t have them there, no way, he had to have them right inside his hind leg and really, really close to his massive male part. All I could do was pray that he didn’t let it out while I was down there picking ticks. I was also very very happy that McD didn’t have the camera. 🙂
You are the second person I have heard in the past few days removing a tick from that area….yuck.
Gee, thanks. That was…um…educational.
Claudia and Karmyn, We use Revolution on Callie and Advantix on Aussie. Maybe we need to try something else…:/.
Marnie, you have beautiful boobs (I KNOW I read that somewhere 😉 ), I’m a strong woman. Which would YOU rather???
Susan, it was a two-WOman effort; Rachel held her still and I…got it off. I think I need to throw up again just thinkin’ about it! Sorry about mentioning that other thing ;).
MaryMert, Yep, I agree!
Kelly, I thought I handled it rather tastefully, lol. Then again, I could’ve avoided the subject altogether, eh?
Naaaaaaah….
Islay Girl…Ummmm, sorry “this” is the first post you read at Robin’s little Pensieve. Really, truly, I write MUCH more engaging material than this!
MJD, and you came here looking for my favorite glasses today, I bet, lol. I think I DO deserve an award!!!! I like Jenny’s idea (diamonds!) :D.
T.O. Bear, ummmmm….excuse me while I go wash my feet, too. Sympathetic blogging ;).
Nikki, do you have an extra??
Kristy, Hmmmm, maybe I need to work on high drama post…I’m good for a few of those…!
JULIE–YOU WIN!!!!! HANDS DOWN! Oh, law, if his “lipstick” twirled out, I would’ve dropped dead right then.right there!!!! Thank God for all things pure and holy, McD DID NOT have a camera!!! LOLOLOL Glad I gave you reason to share THAT little dittie!
Amy, I’ve removed A LOT of ticks, even off myself (mine was on my waist, heebie jeebies just thinking about that mutha), but never “there” before. With every fiber of my being, I hope it’s the first-and the LAST–time I have to!
ROFLOL! Love the diagram! HA!
#12. Ha! Ewwww, though.
Hahaha. There was a time I recall when my dear departed dog had an allergic reaction to something he had walked on and it actually resulted in his anus (the actual puckered opening and not the insides) swelling up and filling up with a putrid yellow fluid. My younger brother and I had to periodically squeeze the swollen tissue, and, I believe the term was ‘express the fluids.’ Not a pleasant task at all.
Nan, I was pretty doggone happy to find it…it helped keep this post…ummmm…”dignified”.
Somethin’ like that, anyway ;).
Tracey, Even though it wasn’t funny at the time, it’s funny to me…now. Just hope there’s not a repeat!
James, Heeeeyyy! Long time, no see (my bad :/). Did you have an English Bulldog? We had some friends, as a matter of fact, the Frankie in this post, who had one and they had to “express” her glands, too. Right then, right there, I KNEW I could never own one of “their kind”. Yuck. Double yuck. TRIPLE YUCK!! I love how your parents involved you and your brother in your pup’s “care”.