Before you go on, even if you never click links in a post, PLEASE READ THIS (very short post, I PROMISE) and the comments. Go ahead…feel free to comment to it…I’m thrilling to these comments…I really could use another from you. Yes, YOU! And if you’re wondering if I mean you, YES, I DO mean YOU!
Okay…if you’ve read the other (very short) post–you may now continue. Truly, really, I value obedience in a person, so your compliance is appreciated. And not just appreciated, but greatly so. There’s a difference, trust me.
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Oh, my ever-lovin’ m e r c y.
Oh, my ever-lovin’, slap-me-naked-and- hide-my-clothes-but-first-close-your-eyes mercy!
Let’s make the general clarification of the previous post simple. For those who’ve read me a while, you already know I’m the Mistress of Enumerated and Nested Lists. Don’t even try to compete…I’m afraid I’ll whip you like Aunt Estelle’s mashed potatoes every.time.
1) I’m "okay", and by "okay" I mean I laughed at least 23 times today. Hmmm, slightly above average. You might want to note that laughing a) does NOT always mean "funny ha-ha" kind of laughs, sometimes it might mean b) the hyena’s hacking up a hairball or c) I think you’re an idiot but I’m disguising it by smiling, nodding my head and giving you a "mercy chuckle".
Still, laughter is divine, so 23? I’m definitely okay.
2) Our house has a) NOT been leveled by an out-of-season tornado, b) NOT been ransacked by a band of marauding space gypsies, but c) IS under renovation (I mentioned this a few weeks ago).
3) Renovation includes a) repair of some damaged/rotting wood outside, b) painting our outside trim, c) demolition of a wall in our kitchen, and d) other painting…replacing a broken window…and other little this-es and thats.
Here we go…this is where I get discombobulated… you might want to fasten your seatbelts:
People are in my house all the time not just people but w.o.r.k.e.r.s. and they need me to make decisions and answer questions and did I mention make decisions when ohmyword, someone tell me how many times I’ve explained I have a
completely off the chart slightly-above-average inability to make a choice about ice cream, let alone how tall to make the bar, what color red to paint the new pantry/cabinet (I’m pretty sure there are 761 variants and when you add finishes and glazes that number grows exponentially!), how many inches over from the wall to hang the light, ma’am, you’re going to need to buy a new, double- paned window because the replacement glass we got just broke AGAIN, do you care that we can’t find the exact spindles for the porch rail because the one we found has three bands, not two ahhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHH B.R.E.A.T.H.E.!
And, as I’ve mentioned both HERE (see #4b) and more recently HERE (see #3), I cannot "go" when out of town OR with people "around" and even when I need to tinkle, no matter which bathroom I choose (we have three), I hear people–no workerMEN–talking outside the window or door and I have performance anxiety and I can’t go and if this keeps up much longer I’m terrified I’ll have to investigate usage of "the dreaded apparatus" and that would NOT be ha-ha funny, it would be hackin’ up a hyena hairball SICK and I might just have to go somewhere "special" to recover and THAT would NOT be a good thing ahhhhhhHHHHHHHH B.R.E.A.T.H.E.!
And, none of my kitchen stuff is where it used to live because I had to move it around so they could saw and sledgehammer and otherwise obliterate the wall where our microwave and coffee mugs USED to hang out, so now all my "s t u f f" is all over the place and we’ve got too much of it, so maybe I need to give it away since I’m a minimalist wannabe and might as well start now since my crap temporarily doesn’t have a place to sit anyway except for crammed in another cabinet where you can’t get to it anyway or stacked on our dining room table ahhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHh B.R.E.A.T.H.E.
And today because I felt bad for Stephen since he’s lonely because Rachel and Thomas are at camp this week, we met some friends at the park and he played in a really cool fountain and rode the amazing carousel and we ended the visit with
Clumpie’s, and, although I HAD to try "Creamsicle" and wonderfully, it tasted like the original, OF COURSE I ended up with chocolate, then Stephen went home with one of those little boys and I drove 45 minutes to the cabinet place, spoke with not one, not two, not three, but FOUR different people there, then picked up Stephen, then came home (praising God, to an EMPTY house!), looked in the mirror, saw CHOCOLATE FREAKIN’ ICE CREAM DRIED ON MY CHIN and NO ONE bothered to tell me and I remembered when someone DID tell me WORSE and I decided right then and there that yes, I’d rather "know" ahhhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHH B.R.E.A.T.H.E.
And after dinner, while Tad was at his men’s study, Stephen
was beating me like Keith Moon’s snare . . . hustlin’ little punk and I played "Gin", and I knocked my fingers on the table by accident and broke the nail I actually paid to have repaired TWICE and it broke AGAIN 🙁 and it’s not that I’m too vain to have a broken fingernail, it’s that it’s too low to come off all the way, it’s attached by a sliver of skin and it HURTS and now it’s too far gone to be repaired a third time but who wants to pay three times for a stupid nail even if it hurts?
I’m too tired to breathe.
But NOT too tired to grin.
Thanks, guys, I am so, SOOOOoooo sorry my last post was misleading. Honestly, it didn’t occur to me it would be taken the way it was, but your kindness, your concern was touching. It’s nice to know if flying monkeys attack or a deranged cat juggler decides to mangle my den, y’all will be waiting in the wings to offer your support…pray for us…and encourage me in general.
Oh, and I couldn’t upload my own pictures earlier because, in perfect discombobulation mode, when I linked the cord to the laptop, the battery died (so I googled an image quickly). For fun, I’m repeating a picture from Fun Monday a few weeks back and what our kitchen looked like yesterday…see the thin coating of dust? No wonder I’m having problems breathing…;).