Continuing the thoughts from the night we spent in prison….
Reality Check, part one, Reality Check, part two
“Then these righteous ones will reply, ‘Lord, when did we ever see you hungry and feed you? Or thirsty and give you something to drink? Or a stranger and show you hospitality? Or naked and give you clothing? When did we ever see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ “And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!’ ” Matthew 25:37-40
Contrary to popular greeting card sentiment and lyrical familiarity, Christmas is not the most wonderful time of year for a lot of people. While rooted in the magnificence and mystery and beauty of the birth of a Savior, the season is a cruel taunt for those
who’ve recently lost loved ones, for those who’ll weather it alone following the death of a marriage, for those who’ve lost jobs and consequentially their security and pride and the ability to provide…
…and also for the seemingly forgotten–men and women serving time in prison.
Even as I write that, I realize inmates serving time most likely earned their ticket in by breaking the law and possibly hurting others in the process. As a believer, I also recognize my focus should be on God and not my circumstances, no matter how dire.
You still have to wade through the sludge of circumstance, though, and in spite of “focus”, the consequences of poor decisions linger, sometimes for years and sometimes for life, affecting not just the offender, but everyone with whom the offender comes into contact.
When an inmate goes to prison, he doesn’t go alone; he takes with him his entire family.
Let that sink in a moment, re-read it if that thought didn’t jar you the first time.
Every person in jail is a son or a daughter, a husband or a wife, a mother or a father, a brother or a sister, a grandparent or a grandchild, a friend. For every person incarcerated, there are countless others who are so directly affected by that action, they’re imprisoned, too. They may not be living behind bars, their civil liberties may be intact, but at any given moment they are judged and condemned and ashamed… isolated and lonely and tired and weary.
That weighed heavy on my heart and mind during our visit. I was there with my beautiful family–three generations–who on the surface look like we have it all. A Godly patriarch and matriarch, children and grandchildren who joyfully serve others, siblings who appear to enjoy one another. My husband is one of four sons, all are in stable, happy marriages, there are nine children between them. The inmates know all about us as told through the voice of a proud father and doting grandfather.
I’d like to think this was a good night for these guys. Not because to believe that makes me feel better, but because for a few hours, the monotony and confinement disappeared for them. The atmosphere was light, celebratory, happy. Smiles and good cheer adorned the otherwise modest room.
Additional impressions that still resonate:
God is creative in the means He draws men to Himself
My in-laws are close to some of these men, and more than one of them has confirmed that while they’re sorry for the things they did to earn their prison sentences, while they regret the residual harm and hurt they caused in the process, they believe God allowed the circumstances and bad choices in order to bring about their salvation. Several of these men have been denied parole; they cling to the hope that God still wants them there, to learn more from my father-in-law (and other teachers/ leaders) and to strengthen their faith without former temptations.
True Worship
Above all, this was a night to celebrate God’s incarnation, the birth of Christ. Every man there was a professing believer, and it is in that belief their countenances reflected freedom. Their bodies are in prison, they’re serving sentences for crimes they committed, but they’ve received a forgiveness that has breathed new life into their hearts, and as a result changed their future. No, their future and their present…now and eternally.
There are two “yards” at this facility–an upper and lower yard. Each group has their own choir, each was allowed to perform one song. These guys didn’t just “perform” though, it transcended a man-centered production and truly glorified God. Their music was an offering to their brothers; yet more than that, it was a gift back to their Savior, it was all they had to give (Think “Little Drummer Boy” and you’ll understand what I mean).
The Bible study leaders shared Scripture and additional encouragement, but it was in music that I saw men liberated in heart and soul and body. And for the record, those guys rocked the house! I was about to go Pentecostal myself!!
Big boys do cry
It’s impossible to convey the worshipful atmosphere during the mini-concert, but I had a glimpse of what God desires of those who worship Him; there was absolutely no pretense. With eyes closed, and for some, hands raised, there was adoration of a King. This place…this PRISON…was inhabited by the presence of God. I love how Eugene Peterson phrases it in The Message—
“That’s the kind of people the Father is out looking for: those who are
simply and honestly themselves before him in their worship. God is
sheer being itself—Spirit. Those who worship him must do it out of
their very being, their spirits, their true selves, in adoration.” ~ John 4:24
This was not the kind of emotional worship service where people are manipulated into a spiritual frenzy, their was no coercion of emotion. God was magnified in word and song, and men (and women) simply responded.
As I looked around the room, my heart broke for these people. Some were young enough to be my own sons; others were old enough to be my grandfather. All of them missed their mamas and their babies and their wives, their ache was palpable. For more than a few, crocodile tears spilled down their cheeks.
I would get to go home that night and celebrate Christmas with our extended family the following day and in the days to come. They would return to monotony and routine. Tears streamed down my own face as I tried to hold them back, wiping each eye as it could no longer be contained.
And the first gift I received this Christmas? One of the inmates must’ve noticed me silently weeping, and he brought me a stack of rough, prison-grade napkins (none of those Puffs Plus with Aloe…) and I about lost it! It was one of the sweetest gestures ever extended to me…I didn’t know his name, but I do remember his face, and I imagine he has no idea of the impact of that simple act of kindness.
While my father-in law-daily lives out the words of Christ found in Matthew 25:34-40, I’m thankful our family had opportunity to join him, if only for a few hours.
Blessed to be a blessing…I’m not sure who received it in greater measure.
Robin,
Thanks for sharing these posts. All 3 of them touched my heart and inspired me.
Phillips, Craig and Dean released a song in the early 90’s entitled “Mercy Came Running”. The chorus went something like this: “Mercy came running, like a prisoner set free…”.
Tears fell silently down my cheeks while listening to the lyrics of this song. I remember seeing a lifelong friend and other women being released jump from a prison van, run weeping to their loved ones and fall into sobs as they were held tightly in safe and familiar arms. Standing in the parking lot of Valley State Prison for Women in Central California, I saw what God’s mercy looks like when it is finally freed to minister to those whom the Lord loves.
God bless you.
That is so beautifully written and thought provoking. Just reading it has brought tears to my eyes so I can well imagine the affect of actually being there.
Very emotional and raw post, Robin.
However, I can’t help but think – If a person about to commit a crime were to stop and think about who they were hurting would they continue their act or stop? And when I mean “think about who they are hurting” – I don’t mean their victim – I mean their mother, father, brother, sister, wife…etc. Maybe this is a direction that re-education programs need to take. Make it personal.
Their actions hurt their loved ones – I like that line – When an inmate goes to prison, he doesn’t go alone; he takes with him his entire family.. We need to focus on this for everything in our lives….not just those acts that put us in jail.
Wow. Just wow. Miracle abound, huh.
Robin, I felt inspired to start a new blog. Come visit my normal blog to see about it. I think you might like it. At least, I hope so;).
Thanks for sharing these wonderful instalments!! Bless your heart!
Thank you for sharing that. Made ME cry!
Reliving similar experience through your words.
Grace, GLAD you (presumably) read the series…as you can imagine, I could write additional volumes :/…. (and you’re welcome).
Kim, I’m familiar with the song but didn’t realize it was that old! And the scene you described? One I’ve never seen, but it has to make a “forever” impression.
Thanks, Sandy.
Chris, I wish everyone could experience something like that. It really has effect, or at least, it did for me.
Karmyn, the last line of your comment was profound…. If we…if I…took time to consider the consequences of my actions more often, I’m sure better choices would reflect it! Great thought!
TLG, thanks for letting me know about your new endeavor; I think it’ll bless you as much (or more!) than it does others, a nice little surprise, indeed :).
Lizzie, gosh…I hope it was the “good” kind…not the sad kind.
Pamela, I imagine you could tell a few stories of your own….please do!
I was not going to read this at first. I skipped it on purpose. I hope I don’t hurt your feelings, but its too close to home. My BIL is in prison for 10 years. He has 8 more to go. He was the one that was always so mean to me. I would over look him and love anyways. The day he got sentenced, I was the 1st person he called. Not his momma, daddy, 5 brothers, x wife or any other family, but me. He told how sorry he was for always treating me bad and how much he really cared. He told me not to feel sorry for him because he messed up and he wasn’t just telling me he was sorry because he was in trouble. The 1st 4th of July was the hardest for me & the 1st New Year. He was the one that would put on a big display for the kids and nobody wanted to do anything that 1st 2 years. Its hard at times to talk to him because I don’t know what to say. How can you say, Hows it going, Merry Christmas, Happy Thanksgiving or any of the Holidays. Several months ago I got to go see him for the 1st time since the 1st day he was sentenced. He is in Leake Co, MS. I was quieter than I have ever have been in my whole life. Matthew noticed this and told me it was okay. He has a better outlook on life than he ever has and not the arrogant person he use to be. He did tell me that he wont attend church because there is more drugs there than on the outside and he don’t jail house religion. This upsets my middle child because he prays for Uncle Matt all the time, but I do understand what he is saying. I do hope and pray that he allows God to come into his life and it be real.
I do want to Thank You for this post. Even thou I cried like a baby, I really needed to hear what you wrote.
Sorry I haven’t stayed with your poems, but with momma being sick and all I do good to read any blogs or even post on mine.
Please do keep my family in your prayers. My heart still hurts over Matt. I hope it does get better over time. I wish we could get him closer to home. This may help if we could see him more.
Again, Thank you!
Their actions hurt their loved ones – I like that line – When an inmate goes to prison, he doesn’t go alone; he takes with him his entire family.. We need to focus on this for everything in our lives….not just those acts that put us in jail.
This is so true, even if it hurts. Sorry for my long comment. I’ll go back to my own blog now. This post probablly help me more than most. If you only if you knew.
That struck me, what you said about the families being incarcerated as well.
In high school, we used to participate in a ministry that took Christmas gifts to children who had a parent or parents in jail.
Right now, I’m looking at different ministry options–long term options, something I need to get involved in right now.
I’ve got my church. I teach Bible studies and Sunday school. I do the book club thing.
But how do I extend God’s love to the hurting on a daily basis?
This series of posts got me thinking.
Another really wonderful post, thank you for sharing your experiences.
Oh, Katie…first…{{hugs}}. I hear what you ARE saying, and what you aren’t. Keep praying for him; it sounds like he’s been changed for the better, and with time ahead of him, he’ll continue to change. He might not be open to the gospel now, but his heart might soften in the future (I’ll pray for him toward that end). I’m sure not all prison ministries are the same, but hopefully your BIL will meet someone who cares, someone like my FIL. Thank you for reading, but most of all sharing your heart. You blessed me, sweetie….
Heather, I guess if you look at the words of Jesus, he seems to care about the marginalized, even going so far as to mention prisoners specifically. Your heart sounds like it’s being “pricked” in this area…maybe God’s drawing you and this series was just timely? You do know you need to minister to WOMEN though, don’t you? I’m pretty sure that goes without saying (unless Chris was with you).
Alix, it’s been great to write; believe it or not, this is the “short” version of my thoughts :).
I have had experience with a person I loved being in jail. It defintely effects the entire family. It’s wonderful what your family does. XO
Robin, perhaps you, or someone you know might like to contribute prayers to the new venture;)? If so – you know where to find it. (I don’t want to be terribly visible on that blog…just doing the admin;))