No doubt, this is the most disturbing conversation I’ve ever felt compelled to share at Pensieve. In the past I’ve shared funny convos, conversations that caught me off guard, and little ditties that either made you spew coffee or gag or maybe even both simultaneously.
This one has consequences I hoped we’d never have to bear.
Stephen: "Mom, can you come outside? Pippin’s doin’ somethin’ he’s never done before…."
Note, in the past, Stephen thought the rabbits were really sick because during the day they slow down–they’re most active morning and late afternoon. I thought Pippin (the much smaller bunny) might’ve been "resting"….
Me, reassuringly, as I’m headed to the door: "Okay, honey, I’m sure he’s okay."
‘Nother note: Most days we let the bunnies out of their hutch so they can hop around; Tad built a large pen for them, but since they have to be supervised in case our pseudo-pet fox visits, Stephen often lets them play in the back of Tad’s truck, where he doesn’t have to keep as close an eye.
Stephen: "Just watch…he’ll do it again in a second…."
Me…with a slowly dawning realization forming in my brain…: "IS HE CLIMBING ON PEPPER???!!!!"
Me: "Oh $#!+!" said three times before I realized I had said it the first. Me continuing, totally freaking out that our two MALE lionhead rabbits might not be after all! "STEPHEN–I’M SORRY!! I DIDN’T MEAN TO SAY THAT BABY–I’M SORRY DON’T LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER RIGHT NOW!!!!"
Then I asked him what Pepper did when Pippin did "that".
Stephen: "Well, Pepper just sits there but I put my hand on Pippin and he was shaking all over…."
Never did it occur to me that Pepper might be female…if any, it would’ve been the smaller Pippin….
Me: "Honey, I think they’re mating…and by now, it’s too late to stop ’em…we might have baby bunnies in a few weeks…"
S i g h….
Some additional thoughts/comments:
a) So, now I have a literal visual to go with the phrase "screwin’ like rabbits"….:/
b) I’m sparing you the pictures because I don’t believe in the promulgation of rabbitporn.
c) Additional cute-innocence from my son: "If they’re both girls, can they still have babies?" (time for a "chat"???)
d) By my optimistic husband: "Well, they could both be boys…I’ve seen male dogs try that with each other…." (gay rabbits????)
e) Does anyone want a FREE pet lionhead rabbit??? I’ll have some adorable samples in about six weeks….
f) I’m gonna shoot my father-in-law…it was HIS great idea to give Stephen TWO rabbits in the first place (and THUMP on the head to me and Tad for letting him!).
Yes…I hear you laughing AT me…it’s well deserved….