Thanks to Min & Jenny from Good Mom / Bad Mom for totally validating what I speak here is pure, unadulterated, nonverifiable TRUTH!  If you’re visiting from their blog, thanks and lemme know you dropped by!

(But what I REALLY want the title to be is:  "Momnesia:  more like herpes than AIDS" because I’m in a mood and Nellie-bar-the- door when I’m in a mood…and since I’m in that "mood", who the heck is "Nellie" anyway?!)

Big i n h a l e ~

So, this morning I’m meeting some friends for breakfast, right? but they don’t know the location "for sure" because last week when we talked about it, it was Starbucks if the weather was "good", Panera if was "bad and we’re in a season of drizzly nondescript Spring weather, and to me, it wasn’t "good" weather so I headed to Panera early since it’s too far to go back home after school drop off, the added plus of free wi-fi and I’d have time to write a few poems for Laura’s weekly challenge while I waited, and I was going to text the location to them, only when I got to Panera and reached for my phone I REALIZED I HAD LEFT THE BLASTED THING AT HOME! (breathe)

I took a seat, fired up my laptop, hoped my friends had memories like elephants, and alternated writing lines of poetry in between looking up every 42 seconds to see if they were there yet and FINALLY Tammy shows up because she actually knew where we were meeting and when I asked to borrow her phone so we could let Ronda and Marianne know where we were, she was all like "YOU DON’T HAVE YOUR PHONE EITHER?  I FORGOT MINE!" and I’m like HOW COULD WE BOTH FORGET OUR PHONES cause as moms YOU NEVER ARE WITHOUT YOUR PHONE ‘CAUSE YOUR KIDS MIGHT "NEED" YOU, AND BY "NEED" I mean they might’ve forgotten their homework or uniform for soccer or the paper you HAD to sign giving them permission to watch graphic drunk driving videos, never mind you didn’t have to sign anything about the graphic Why kNOw scary disease pictures they saw in Health, but that’s another story, and…

(I’ll be back in a little while to finish the story ’cause I’m just getting warmed up…not that anyone reads this time of day….;) )

So, Tammy and I chat it up, bouncing back and forth between waiting for the others or going on our own personal wild goose chase and well acquainted with Murphey and his law, we KNOW just as soon as we leave, they’ll arrive, so we’re frozen to the spot, when lo and behold Ronda arrives and SHE has the good sense to have her phone so she calls Marianne–who is on an entirely different chase of her own to "find" the birthday gift someone was supposed to give to someone else to give to Marianne to give to me, but someone in that menage forgot, and I’ve got enough confusion on my own not to worry about hers, too, never-you-mind HER chaos results in a surcie for ME.

We FINALLY order and for my trouble I choose the Spinach and Bacon Egg Soufflé weighing in at 560 calories, 36 grams of FAT puffed pastry perfection and an OJ, rationalizing that THAT makes it "healthy" and we have a fabulous visit and the girls give me fun prizes & cards (except for Marianne whose gift is somewhere in the birthday black hole) and then I go to Target to get rabbit food (don’t get me started) and somehow I end up spending $127 when the food is only $10 and I know Tad’s gonna be all "Lucy you got some s’plainin’ to do" and I’ll just look at him, blink blink, and mumble my new battle cry "Momnesia!" and pretend he thinks it’s cute when I do that.

I get home only to find my phone sitting on the counter RIGHT BESIDE THE DOOR mocking me so I zap that sucker into oblivion with a vaporizing glare, pull out my laptop to finish writing SOMETHING for goodness sakes, and realize…

I LEFT THE FLIPPIN’ POWER CORD AT PANERA AND THERE’S "37% remaining" on the battery which translates to about 3.7 minutes and all I can think is–MOMNESIA–and I used to be a certified Mensa Member and I’ve sent astronauts to the moon and I graduated with honors and used to be a M a r k e t i n g
P r o f e s s i o n a l and I CAN’T REMEMBER A PHONE AND AN ELECTRICAL CORD within HOURS of each other???

And can I get a witness that it’s a pain on multiple levels to have to go back from whence you came to retrieve something you shouldn’t have left behind in the first place?  Amen?!  AMEN?!?!

I’ve got three or four "real writing projects" going on so I wanted/needed/wanted my laptop, settled for our PC, but between my carpel tunnel and total discombobulation I didn’t get much done so I threw in the towel and worked on our 20th anniversary album instead and you might want to note here I was not so distraught so as to dust or mop, now THAT would be an indicator of full-blown depression, which often follows momnesia. 

Then it was time to head back out for the day and when I got in my car my diagnosis was confirmed, though there was little doubt before–

My power cord was in the car.

Click here to learn more about this recently verified affliction universal to Motherhood!

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