This time last week, I was in full freak out mode. In a moment of complete and utterly ridiculous melodrama, I wrote a post declaring (in between the lines) I had months…days…minutes to live. After reading it and concerned our family might join my freak-outedness, my husband asked me to revise it. I did. The symptoms were numbness and burning in my hands and feet, severe swelling, and itching on my extremities; I barely noticed the latter because the former felt like mini firecrackers exploding out the ends of my fingers. <— not a melodramatic over-exaggeration…!
On Sunday, because I don’t have an internist or family doctor (don’t judge me…when I moved to Tennessee EVERY confounded doctor I tried to make an appointment with was NOT taking new patients…so I’ve always relied on Docs in Boxes…), a friend/doctor insisted I come see him the next day. He could see the fear in my eyes and my gargantuanly swollen hands and feet. He couldn’t see the itch.
I told him I’d come but I didn’t need a physical exam and most certainly was NOT taking off any clothes or coming close to a hospital gown. He rolled his eyes and gave me that sad, tired doctor line, "Honey, you don’t have anything I haven’t already seen…don’t flatter yourself," but I held my ground.
Okay, he didn’t even come close to saying that, but I bet he was thinkin’ it.
It’s important to know he was my FRIEND first, his wife is a friend, and he leads worship in our Sunday school class. I figured if we needed to do anything "invasive", he’d refer me to one of his partners.
When I arrived for my appointment on Monday, he greeted me with a smile, introduced me to his nurse, casually motioned for me to go ahead of him to the exam room, and said he’d be in shortly.
As I walked into the room, it was clear he had "prepared" for my visit:
Nothin’ breaks the ice like lu-bri-ca-shee-oooown, yes? As the surprise wore off inside the room, I could hear him laughing outside the room.
Needless to say, I burned the gloves, gown and companion "tools" in effigy on his front lawn.
Oh, and my diagnosis? Anemia…after testing for everything else on the planet, looks like I’ve just got a case of bad blood.
(Thanks to those of you who’ve continued to ask how I’m doing! I like YOU best of all!!! 😉 )