Time is a fickle creature and sometimes I don’t like her one…little…bit.
She toys and she taunts at her leisure and her pace is hardly fair–she creeps along at a slug’s pace when A Big Day approaches, but in the lives of my children she accelerates into the speed of blur.
Once, when I turned my back, my daughter went from losing her first tooth to having her braces removed. Another time, I blinked and my son wasn’t pushing a Little Tykes lawnmower trailing his daddy, he was mowing two acres by himself.
No longer do I have to wipe noses or behinds, brush hair or brush teeth, dress or undress them…and I can’t remember the last time someone asked me to kiss a boo-boo.
I think I miss boo-boo kisses the most.
My oldest was at camp last week and it hit me she’s a high school sophomore; that means we’ve got her at home just three more years. Though I have no aspirations to be her friend yet–when my children were younger and I did or demanded something of them they didn’t like, they’d try to “threaten” me with “I won’t be your friend”, to which I’d always respond, “I’m not your friend, I’m your M-O-T-H-E-R”–I like her and enjoy her company.
For that, I am thankful.
Saturday night when she got home, we talked two hours straight; the conversation felt…grown up. I sat there and studied her while she spoke. There was something different about her. Assurance? Confidence? Maturity? Or is it ME?
Am I the one who’s different?
I’m never prepared when I see my children in new light.
Don’t be mistaken–it’s not always like this. There are times I’m ready for them to be up and out. Sometimes I think their goal is to fray every last nerve in my 40-something body! Thankfully, those moments are fleeting.
Mostly, these moments of introspection remind me to love my babies fiercely and freely–with open hand, not a tightly clenched fist…to allow them the space to “become” and help guide them in that process…to remember the thought that always pierces my heart: “we’re raising them for someone else, not ourselves”…that their move towards increasing independence is a move in the RIGHT direction.
If we’re doing our jobs well as parents, a move toward greater dependency on the Lord.
When I watch friends with younger children juggling diaper bags, struggling with a demanding life, and wishing away that season, I want to tell them to savor the “here and now.” Soon that season of motherhood will be over, much more quickly than they realize. But they wouldn’t understand, not yet, anyway. It’s not their fault–they can’t.
There are some things you’ve got to live, to experience yourself, to comprehend completely.
Time might not be on my side, but I’m thankful for the reminders to make the most of it.
awww ~sniff~ It’s so bittersweet.
xo~K
That was wonderful Robin thanks for helping me understand what I do need to cherish. I’m in those diaper bag days. 2 out of my 3 are in diapers.
Girl I am right there with you, it seems everything we do now we are on “count down mode” and I don’t like it one bit.
Wow, what a terrific post. You’ve really nailed it. Good reminder.
I always love your tributes to your kids. You so get it.
dropped by Via Twitter…nice post. A little melancholy, but an encouragement to those of us with younger kids. I am having similar struggles with my oldest (who is still younger than your daughter at 13~but being a boy is already taller than both his parents). Seeing him in a different light is new.
I do still have a preschooler around to keep me juggling though. My prayer is that I am not so busy with the baby that I miss out on the oldest.
Thanks for the sweet reminder to enjoy them, no matter what age they are. =)
Robin-
I have not reached this point yet, but I know what you mean about stopping every now and then and studying them – watching how they have changed. My oldest is only 8 – but there are so many new things about this age that she is at, so many things that are gone. Thanks for this beautiful post.
The Value of Time
To realize the value of one year:
Ask a student who has failed his final exam.
To realize the value of one month:
Ask a mother who has given birth to a premature baby.
To realize the value of one week:
Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.
To realize the value of one day:
Ask a daily wage laborer who has 6 kids to feed.
To realize the value of one hour:
Ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.
To realize the value of one minute:
Ask a person who has missed the train, the bus, or the plane.
To realize the value of one second:
Ask a person who has narrowly escaped an accident.
To realize the value of one millisecond:
Ask the person who has won a silver medal in the Olympics.
TIME WAITS FOR NO ONE !
I like how you make motherhood sound like a good thing.
I need words like this from you.
Oh my gosh, my husband and I were just having this conversation this weekend! I was feeling a little sad about getting into the whole college search thing, and then our first friends’ daughter got married so you could say I was feeling, oh, I don’t know, reflective? Anyway, he said to me in his most wisest voice ever, “Shelly, this is what we’re raising them for!” And he’s right. It’s an exciting ride, isn’t it?
When my kids were young and life pretty much (pardon me) sucked most of the time, older women would tell me to “enjoy these days when they are little because they go so fast!” and I’d want to punch them. The days DON’T go fast when the kids are little. They drag on and on until it’s finally time to put them in bed. At least that was my experience. Now that we’re rounding the bend and heading toward the finish line, time is absolutely flying and I want it to slow down. Now!
We are SO on the same page, Robin!
amen, sister. you totally are speaking my language here.
I really needed this today. I’ve been having a really tough time with my 22 month old girlie – I’m one of those wrestling the screeching toddler during church or in the grocery store. But sometimes I see her playing or doing silly toddler things and I realize it’ll be practically tomorrow that she’ll start school, and then the next day we’ll be dropping her off at college.
I suppose it’s an irony of motherhood that you want to push them off when you need to hold them close, and then when you need to let them go you want to hold on tighter.
I rejoiced once all three were potty trained, but now I wish I could go back…how is that for insanity? I miss those baby cuddles and rockings in the middle of the night. Every stage is beautiful, but some leave hefty impressions on a mama’s heart.
Beautiful post.
Well said! My daughter is the same age as yours… and we are having those kinds of moments recently, too.
I think you can apply that to all facets of life, not just your children. I’m conscious of late that I don’t want to ‘wish my life away’ ad to try living in the moment more. There are many good things that happen while we’re waiting and wishing for other things.
What a beautiful post. And I don’t wish it away for a SECOND. I dread the growing up, the letting go. DREAD it. But I’m sure it’s beautiful when it happens. It’s all so unreal to me right now. Although I said to my husband tonight at dinner about my 8-year-old, “We’re done. He’s gone.” I feel that way sometimes. It’s like he’s not mine anymore. Already. I can’t believe it. He seems so grown up.
i’m having those moments with my younger brothers, it’s crazy.
Have you heard the Trace Adkins song “You’re going to miss this” ? Makes me cry every time. So does this post.
Oh my…thank you for this. Raising teenagers has been by far my most challenging time of parenting. Especially when your teenager is strong willed and opinionated as much as his mother. UGH! It takes lots and lots of prayer.
I hear ya. My youngest is going to be a sophomore this year and she has definitely perfected the eye-roll to an art form.
The strong willed and opinionated part is also in her DNA (unless that is just a function of being 15). Since driving will occur soon, I think lots o’ prayer is right on too.
My girl is off to college in the fall. I remember feeling this way 3 short years ago. The years go too fast, don’t they?
Lovely post. I always tell my friends to enjoy their kids each and every minute. They grow up in a blink of an eye. I just gave birth to my girls yesterday, and today they are 18 & 19!
it is a very short word.
Such a nice piece, Robin. So glad I stopped by tonight. And she’s so pretty–just like you.
I’ve been cleaning out our basement of 25 years of accumulated family belongings this week. There’s something about a daughter getting married that makes you want to sift through the memories, keeping some, discarding others.
Tonight I repacked all the baby clothes, stuffed animals, and infant toys. Seems like it was yesterday I was doing all that. In a blink, I’ll be unpacking them all for grandkids. How can this be?
Hugs!
Just last night I was talking about how much I missed it when my daughter, now a high school sophomore, used to cozy up next to me in her footie pajamas and snuggle while she sipped her sippy cup. Sniff. Where did the time go?
Oh I definitely needed that reminder. Could you re-run this post once a month, please, for the diaperbag totin’ Mamas? (Although I doubt I’ll have time to read it. Sigh.) Thanks for a beautiful kick-in-the-pants, m’dear.
That Trace Adkins song, You’re Gonna Miss This.
Oh I am a blubbering fool listening to that song.
And then my Phil teaches Zane to say things like: “Please mommy? I’m not gonna be little forever”