Alternate titles:
- I’m just like Katie Couric (minus the $15,000,000 paycheck and mad journalism skills)
- I might as well swallow a garden hose and camera, save some cash and be done with it.
- Mountain Dew is NOT the same thing as coffee with cream in the morning.
- In one end and out the other
- I almost cried when I smelled Arby’s curly fries
- Oh! Sh*t!!
- Will someone PLEASE tell me what exploding fingers have to do with a doctor advancing a colonoscope through my large intestine?!
As part of the diagnostic testing to determine what was going on with me health wise a while back, my doctor had me take a Hemoccult test. In spite of protesting due to the grossisity factor, I took the test…and failed. As a result, my comedian-wannabe doctor referred me to a G.I. specialist, who in turn will get to know me rillyrilly well–inside and out–in the morning. He’ll be treating me to two procedures before lunch time: endoscopy and colonoscopy.
I can hardly wait. Seriously–this thing has been hanging over my head all summer and I’m ready to get it over with!
T
oday? Today is known as "prep day". Anyone who has had one of these procedures is feeling my pain right now. Even as I type, I’m mid-way through a 64-ounce lemon-lime cocktail that is soon to be waging war against my intestinal tract. I’m afraid this battle’s already won; I’ve been on a clear liquid diet all day and for the first time ever, dog food looked appetizing to me. Aussie actually guarded her bowl with a paw when I fed her tonight.
I don’t think I’m gonna like lemon-lime anything after today…all I’ve had to eat/drink is pictured above. It did occur to me a few minutes ago tea was on the menu.
HOW COULD I HAVE FORGOTTEN SWEET TEA??
Perhaps I was just a wee bit discombobulated from waking up at 5:00 this morning, drifting back to sleep only to be awakened by a barking dog…then…getting stuck in a two-hour traffic jam before 10:00. I tell ya, the nerves are frayed, people, the nerves are flat frizzled.
I thought about video blogging the whole thing tomorrow but apparently they don’t allow cameras, just drugs. Thank the Lord for happy-go-night-night drugs! That’s small recompense for Prep Day (I won’t remember a thing!).
Interestingly, EVERY person whose path I cross lately has had one of these things. They all say the same thing: the day before is the worst part (I’ll let you know if they’re telling the truth). If what I’ve heard is true, for me, the worst part might be right after the procedure when your body is "blowing off steam"–passing gas WITH PEOPLE AROUND???? Good googliemooglie, I don’t even do THAT in private!!
Swampwitch wrote a hilarious post about her experience (she DID take pictures!).
A colonoscopy detected Lisa’s cancer at age 38 and probably saved her life.
Laurie insists it’s a piece of cake a breeze.
If you’re putting off having a colonoscopy (or endocscopy)– especially if you’re 50 or older–DON’T WAIT! I’m the world’s biggest chicken, so if I can do it, anyone can.
It’d be such a shame to die from embarrassment instead…!
p.s. Can anyone name the title reference?
By this time tomorrow you will be telling us how wonderful all the drugs were, while sipping coffee.
I’ve two colonoscopies, one that also included an upper endoscopy like yours. The prep is definitely worse than the procedure!
Tomorrow, when you can eat again, whatever you have will seem like the best meal of your life!
Good luck!
Dave Barry has a pretty funny article about his colonoscopy.
Best of luck! My hubby had one a few years ago, and the prep was definitely the worst part. The procedure was quick, and he came home & had a nice breakfast & a long nap, and he was fine! You will be, too!
I haven’t had a colonoscopy but I did have colo-rectal surgery (TMI, I know) and it was the same prep. I have to say that even with the scalpels and pain of surgery, the prep was still the worst part. The surgery was a piece of cake compared to the day before. I will NEVER drink lemon-lime Gatorade again!
Good luck tomorrow! I will definitely keep you in my prayers!
Oh YES, the prep is the worst! I’ve had the colonoscopy at the age 19 and 39. Age, 19 revealed spastic colon which was coming from emotional stress and changing some dietary things helped and some drugs (short term). Age 39, they couldn’t complete it because I was in too much pain during the procedure and they had given me the limit of the night-night meds. So? . Anyhow, you may have some uncomfortable pains after you get home. I found that getting in bed and laying down on my side, very still – helped. Was pretty drowsy and took a nap too. A couple of hours later I was fine. Eat light to begin with and remember to drink enough liquid afterwards too. Good luck. The stress of NEEDING the test doesn’t help the prep process. Don’t worry until you know if you should be worrying, because the worry won’t change any of the outcome. 😉
I know. I know the reference to Seinfeld!
Once they knock you out tomorrow it will be smooth sailing from there. You’ll be just fine tomorrow. Unless you’re like me and are a real hard stick and it is sheer torture to get an IV in place so they can knock you out. I’m nauseous just thinking about it. But I’m sure you’re veins are big and fat and the entire procedure will be over before you know it.
i feel your pain, my dear.
do not be alarmed if you sleep all day tomorrow. they supposedly put me in “twilight” but instead i conked out and didn’t wake up for about five hours.
my advice: have your driver get you a chocolate malt on your way home.
good luck! hope they get to the “bottom” of your health problems. hardy har har.
PS don’t let t with honey scare you. they didn’t stick me at all. to this day i have no idea how they rendered me unconscious.
but nothing hurt. nothing.
Robin, know that you are in my prayers. This is a wake up call to me that I should call my doctor about something I’ve been a little concerned about, that’s probably no big deal. It’s always best to know, right?
Oh my. You sure know how to lighten up a dreadful event. BUT, I know you’ll do fine (or at this point -did fine) and probably get a good picture out of it. Perhaps patterns of the colon?
Take care and take it easy. You are in my prayers.
A co-worker had cancer detected with colonoscopy. Saved her life.
Another has endoscopy to open her stomach after major surgery, and that allows her to actually eat again…
Good luck!!!
I am so sorry! I had to have the same thing done just a few months ago (to help diagnose some issues as well). The actual procedure isn’t bad at all. It’s the starving the days before thats awful. You have to drink just enough to keep your tummy hungry. So again, I am SO Sorry!!
Good Luck tomorrow!!
46:10
🙂
Love ya.
I have to say that I think the worst part would truly be the passing gas afterwords. I don’t do that. I can’t do that in front of people!
Praying for you!
Geez! I’m offline for a few days and all you people are going anal on me! (Excuse the pun) But please look after yourself and have a little faith, I know you have a heap of it inside you!
Hugs
Just now catching up with you, Robin. I’m praying right now!
May God grant you peace and composure and a very good result!
K
The prep was the worst for my husband. He lost 8 pounds during his prep! I told him I always knew he was full of **** and now we had proof. Good luck!
I hope everything goes/went well today. Sorry I missed this yesterday.
Hugs, Robin! I’ve had my first one, and I agree…the prep IS the worst part!
By now I hope you are up and about and wondering what all the fuss was about – and as for passing wind – everyone does it and the beauty is that after what the team has been focusing on, a fart is just so much hot air!!!
We had a lovely preparation here for me to drink called “Fleet” – I swear, if I ever need to lose weight I am turning there. Sure, a quality few hours hovering near (or rather on) the toilet, but oh my, you must lose heaps!!!
Hugs, Robin! I hope it all went ok. My older daughter (15) has Crohn’s, and she’s had two colonoscopies/endoscopies. She definitely says the prep is worse than the procedure itself, and the most recent one (spring break this year) the prep was even easier due to better OTC prep stuff. Still, I always feel hugely relieved, and then guilty, that I haven’t had to have one!
Keeping fingers crossed. Waiting the results.
again, another memory (why yes, I’m reading your archives backwards): Hemoccult test. I had that too. UGH!
All worth it to finally find out my diagnosis!
i’m 25 and had a colonoscopy last month. i am soooo done with lemon lime still.
i mixed pink lemonade crystal light into my prep and it made it just a tad better. just a note for next time!
ugggghhh i hope there’s never a next time for me though.