Why do women have such a difficult time saying a simple "thank you" when someone extends a compliment?
We minimize–
"Yes! I got it for $7.99 on T.J. Maxx's clearance rack!"
We self-deprecate–
"Guess I'm having one of those rare good hair days."
We act like we have no idea what they're talking about–
"Well, you're just seeing it for the five minutes it was clean."
I'm not the only one who does this, just about every time I pay a compliment to a friend, it's similarly rebuffed (can you take a compliment or do you find yourself falling into this trap?)
I received a really nice compliment today from a blog friend I consider a friend in real life since we've actually met, and though I want to make excuses and self-deprecate and look over my shoulder and say "Who? Me??", what I really want to say…need to say…
…is a simple thank you.
Thank you, Shannon.
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p.s. If you're visiting from the 10 Best Wise Mom blog post, you need to know a) my laptop broke last week and I'm barely able to check email, b) posting is a BEAR, and not just any bear, but the grizzliest of kinds, and c) sometimes I write "real" posts like about my mom or my kids highs and lows or how strangers can affect how I parent Thanks for your visit and I hope you'll even consider subscribing :).
p.p.s. Is my "PS" doing exactly what I'm talkin' about?? Say it ain't so!
Just flew by to say hello…what you say is so true.
I can never seem to just say “thank you.”
And for that matter, I can’t say, “NO” either.
Miss you.
Congrats! You definitely should be included in that list!
Ok, that first one. Not deflecting. Bragging. It drives my hubby nuts, but I will “brag” about how cheap I got just about anything. Classy I am not 🙂
ALL the TIME! I’m sure a shrink would say it’s somehow tied to my sense of self worth, which, as a Leo I just don’t see, but it’s got to mean something. I’m working on it though.
Wow, you are actually friends with SHANNON?? you are almost famous 😉 One day Im going to meet YOU and tell all my readers you are my real friend. One day.
I try to say thanks for compliments – but I didnt realise that I minimise all the time! Thanks for bringing that to light. Love ya!
Congratulations! And the honor is well-deserved.
Oh, yes, I do those things all the time. I’m trying to work on just saying thank-you, but it’s hard. Great reminder, Robin.
You are so right! I don’t know why we do this..but I do it too! It’s hard to take a compliment!
-sandy toes
A well-deserved mention, and good for you for sticking to “thank you”. A wise person taught me to give praise with very specific facts that can’t be discounted, like, “Your blog lifts my spirits every day with funny stories that relate to my daily life.” It’s harder to discount or argue about that, isn’t it?
Congratulations!
Oh, I know all about how hard it is to say Thank You.
You DESERVE it! Go you!
well — if for some reason I clean my house and someone stops and says “‘ whoooaaaa, your house sure looks nice.”
I want to make sure they won’t expect it to look good tomorrow.
LOL. I agree with Donna @ Thirsty – one of these days I will meet YOU and say, “I’ve MET her! In PERSON! We’re like, practically BFFs!!” 😉
There’s probably a lot of reasons why we do this, and you’ll have to look at the woman to figure out why she’s doing it.
1.) She doesn’t want to brag, but.. she does really, she just doesn’t want to look like it.
2.) She really doesn’t want to brag or be praised and doesn’t know how to humbly accept the compliment.
3.) She doesn’t think she’s worth the compliment/ has low self-esteem.
Me? I’m #4.) I talk too dang much so when you compliment something I’m going to tell you where I got it and how excited it was to find it for so cheap because I never can afford the really good stuff and now look at me looking like I got this from some awesome boutique and how cool is that and so now you should totally go check out their sale because you could score some really awesome shirt, too! 😉
Congrats, Robin!! You rock. 🙂
You DEFINITELY deserve that compliment! So take it and say thank you. :=)