Thumbing through the coupon section in Sunday's paper sometimes leaves me shaking my head in disbelief; particularly when it's less about saving money and more about spending money on something no one actually needs.
Let's consider Ashton-Drake Galleries', "Claire".
Claire is a "Unique So Truly Real baby to cuddle and love".
Claire also scares the snot out of me!
so much like real life…you'll be amazed (elephants at birth weigh over 200 pounds; what I'm amazed at is calling a 10" elephant doll "so much like real life")
...special because she's just 10" long (Oooo, so that explains it! She's special. She's apparently a miniature elephant!)
She'll feel happy just to be cuddled in the palm of your hand (because "RealTouch" vinyl is SO soft and cuddly!) (and elephants have feelings, too)
Or just offer her FREE PACIFIER…and she'll be content as can be! (ya don't say, a FREE paci? Why not charge five bucks more for it? Cause I'm pretty sure anyone who's gonna fork over $60 for a freakish elephant doll would be happy to hand over some extra jack for a paci to keep it quiet)
Available for a limited time (thank God…and, please, BREAK THE MOLD!)
demand will be great (is that motivating anyone? Does anyone believe that?)
S i g h…
Only in a country where capitalism is king and insatiable consumers feel the need to feed an appetite of unnecessary indulgence could something like this even exist.
Can you think of any examples? Or am I just over reacting?
So… you’re saying I need to rethink that whole Rabid Raccoon Family with Detachable MouthFoam idea I was about to pitch to Tyco?
I just got a great laugh from reading that this morning. Thanks.
That doll is just freakish. I generally think elephant toys are cute – but of the plush, cuddly variety. This one is just scary.
That really freaked me out! You’re hillarious and I’m speechless!!!
To say this is creepy is a MAJOR understatement. For some reason this seems like something Michael Jackson would own.
This is even scarier than the Jesus Action Figure (with glow-in-the-dark miracle hands). And no, I didn’t make Him up. Behold:
OMG! I HATE these creepy things! I carried one with a monkey on it in my purse for a while to share with unsuspecting patrons b/c it cracked me up so much.
I’ve never known anyone to purchase these? Well.. nevermind because I’ve volunteered at the loony bin before. No one in their right mind anyway!
“The only reason many American families don’t own an elephant is that they have never been offered an elephant for $1 down and easy weekly payments.” – Mad Magazine
I now must try to sleep tonight without nightmares of giant freaky elephants in frilly dresses.
Based on the picture alone, I thought the ad surely was going to be some sort of public service warning from the Surgeon General.
“This is your elephant on meth…”
Oh honey, you are SO NOT overreacting. That thing is freakish!
But you want to know something else freakish? My mother-in-law keeps a baby doll (like those kind they sell in the newspaper) on her bed . . . to this day! I swear she thinks its the daughter she never had.
It is just plain UGLY. Poor Claire.
oooooooh… it’s so cute!!
I always liked the baby elephant in The Jungle book — and the way the elephants marched.
i usually love elephants, but i agree, this is just freaking creepy.
Why would anyone want a baby elephant anyway – when there are so many more adorable baby animals.
lol just go’s to show what thay will do for $ and well if the elephant man ever had a child i say this would be it yes its well some thing else not like i have ever seen be for
I agree that the ‘Claire’ the elephant is the epitome of kitsch and quite possibly the ugliest thing I will see all week (so long as I don’t stand in front of the mirror naked in the meantimes!).
I’d rather live in a world where people are free to buy and sell whatever they d#*n well choose than in a world where the state dictates to a large extent what, when and how goods are exchanged. So…I guess that makes me a capitalist pig. And proud of it!
Now, Robin, be nice. Maybe that doll looks exactly like the artist’s children looked at birth.
It’s the clothes. And the eyes. Well, and the pacifier. The whole package gives me the creeps.
It’s actually sort of a mutant human face.
Thanks. Now I am going to have nightmares.
Uhm….am I free to say nothing at all?
LOL! It is kind of weird…and creepy.
Yeah, that’s just wrong.
That trunk gives me the willies. Um.
Those ads in the paper always make me laugh, but you’re right. They’re ludicrous! (Did I spell that right? GAH.)
I saw the most disturbing special on BBC or A&E or LMNOP one day – it was all about women who ordered these amazingly lifelike dolls (which they really were pretty amazing) but then TREATED THEM LIKE REAL BABIES. It bothered me so much I just couldn’t keep watching. That’s a sickness…they’re obviously not dealing with much more deeply rooted issues.
The baby elephant, though? I shudder to think who may order it!
I’ve never seen the freaky elephant before, but I have seen the “life-like” baby dolls. Creepy! I would LOVE to see who is buying these things. And, I just have to say how much I love the little tuft of hair on top of its’ head with the little bow.
Can I just say YIKES!!!!! =)
Oh my. This is SO creepy I’m tempted to buy one and use it as a weird prop somehow in my Stampede storytimes (the final poem compares kids to elephants). But it would scare me to have it in the back seat of the car. I’d look in my rear view mirror, and who knows what she’d be doing…
OMG. I’m scared. Who the hell would buy this?
WOW. I just… wow.
wow..that is scary. And it looks like they broke her front legs-there’s no way an elephant’s real legs would bend that way!!
you just made me laugh so hard i woke up my sleeping on me 6 month old. and i don’t even care! it was worth laughing…
oh yeah cause “so much like real life” elephants wear pink rufflely clothes and flower bows in their tuft of elephant hair.
what’s that saying???
it’s so ugly it’s cute…..
i own this elephant. my house has not been the same since it arrived.