As a mom to a 16 year old daughter, and 15 and 12 year old sons, life is fast and furious because they have things to do. A lot of them.
Because it's summer, I was under some kind of misguided notion life would flow at a simpler, calmer pace, and we'd sip lemonade while fanning ourselves on our front porch, rockin' and talkin' at the speed of snail.
I guess I was notioning in 1965.
Instead, we've been on the go just as much as ever, and when we (as a family) haven't been on the road, my kids have. We've even experienced The Empty (and very quiet) Nest not once, but twice.
When they're home, it feels like our back door is revolving. Friends don't seem to arrive solo, they travel in packs; it hasn't been uncommon to have four extra teens in the house at a time.
They can be loud.
And messy.
They're nocturnal.
And they like to eat. A lot.
If the world revolved around me, I'd say it wasn't very convenient.
But here's the thing: they're here. This is where they want to be. As long as they're here, they aren't somewhere else doin' something that would curl my toenails.
My heart is in perpetual shatter over what's easily accessible to teenagers today, what's expected or permitted or encouraged, and the destructive choices they can make; the choices some of our own friends' children have made. And not for a second am I saying my kids are above that, that they won't one day make decisions that hurl me into a pit…but for now…for today…they choose to be here.
Whoa, Nellie! This is not the post I intended to write when I jotted that title up there {smiles}! I just wanted to show you some pictures ~ the difference between Mars and Venus:
Take two girls, five jars of face paint, an ancient "How To" book from a Chick-Fil-A kids meal, and voilà, I've got circus freaks in the house. I think they're a distant relative of Ted Murphy, the brains (and tongue!) behind Izea and so much more!
The boys in the band…they're serious about their craft. At Christmas time, we were NEVER going to allow drums in our house. Apparently "never" is about six months. They're still searching for their band name, suggestions welcome in comments {Blink 182 is their inspiration and they're punk in their dreams. Is "loud" a genre??"}
I love the tongue! :)-
You are so lucky and blessed to open your home to the kids and have them want to be there. That is what I am hoping for as my son grows older! I would much rather put up with the loud and messy than to wonder where, what, who, when….
Enjoy it as it will go faster than you think! Lovely post.
I hope my kids want to be at home with their friends when they are older. I was that kind of kid, and am always grateful that my parents made our home a welcoming place.
As for band names, there’s a street here in the metroplex called Brentwood Stair and I have always thought it sounded like a band name.
i hope when my kiddo is a teen he wants to be here. he can bring friends, but i don’t want them out doing who knows what either.
i’m always amazed at the differences between boys and girls at any age. even from toddler age they are so different.
Keeping your house and your heart open is the best thing you can do for your kids — ours are mostly grown and have young families of their own, and they are still coming to our house with their friends!
barefoot
I just showed this post to my husband. We are both smiling and we both said (at different times when we read the post) “That’s awesome!” I felt full of emotion as I read your post. This is what I long for when my kids are teens. The key might be- letting the kids be loud, messy, and nocturnal. Oh, and letting them eat! I know I will have to plan for that one. I have 3 boys that will probably eat me out of house and home when they are teens. I also have a little girl.
Great post! I enjoyed it.
I love the bass player. Love him!
We share the same school of thought on opening our home to the kids’ friends. We’ve been doing this for years, and as our oldest is entering the teen years, it’s even more crucial to be the neighborhood “mom” for him and his friends. I always know what they’re up to, who they’re with, and who their influences are. Other less fortunate kids in the neighborhood always have somewhere to go to where they can witness a wholesome family with Christian values in action.
It makes me so sad that so many parents in our neighborhood DON’T want to spend time with their kids — their kids are always here, never want to go home, and their parents don’t want their own kids, much less their kids’ friends, over at their houses. “Too much hassle…”
As for the band, as we all know how well teens do at being “on time”, how about Punktual (Punctual)?
My oldest is a drummer, and there are good things about having a drummer in the family — those things are a pain to move around, so band practice is *always* at our house. 😉
He’s probably too young for this joke — but when I told our friend who plays the base at church … he cracked up.
***A biologist goes to the most remote part of jungle. As soon as he arrives in the village he is to visit, he hears drums beating wildly in the distance. He asks the Chief what the drums mean. The Chiefs reply is “Drums play, good. Drums stop, bad.” During the missionaries entire month long stay he frequently asks the Chief about the continuous drumming. The Chiefs reply is always the same. “Drums play good. Drums stop bad. Finally as the biologist is heading for his next stop he asks the Chief again about the drumming. The Chief says “Drums play, g…” “I know, I know” says the missionary. “Drums play, good. Drums stop, bad. But why is it bad when the drums stop?” The Chief shakes his head and says ” When drums stop –then bass solo. ***
ps. I agree — keep the kids coming to your house and being welcome as long as possible
Yeah, wish you lived closer, Robin. Because I want my kids and their friends to be hanging out in a safe, welcoming place – just not necessarily MY place! I’d definitely send them to that revolving door of yours. 🙂
one day, the bass player will learn that while the lead guitarist gets the MOST girls, and the drummer gets the craziest girls, the bassist gets the BEST girls.
Personally, I think “Jackalope” is a great band name…
also, I wish that when I was that age that the homes that were as open as yours to hang-out time were as supportive and, basically, good. You have the power to be the safe haven that they need, the non-family adult to tell it to them straight, and caring guardian that so many teens don’t/didn’t have. You don’t know how much I would trade to have had a house like yours to hang out at.
My house became the hangout for at least three of the kids in my family and our friends when we were teens. It was such a beautiful thing – my parents were there, joking around and then letting us hang out on our own too. Several of my friends still consider them their second parents, and I think the influence they had was powerful. Ironically those are some of our favorite memories as a FAMILY, despite the fact that you might say our family time was disrupted. I think it was just expanded. Six of us kids, plus two kids we invited to live with us, plus five or so who were constantly over hanging out. It was amazing.
I’m so glad to have stopped here randomly ( if that is ever the case )
It is nice to hear the sentiments of someone with older kids.
Bless you for opening your home to the kids friends. We have a somewhat similar enviroment, but more so with the girls. With my son , the oldest, he ventured to homes with more toys , yours would have been ideal, and an escape from 4 sisters and friends putting on plays etc.
While my husband and I often hide on the porch , or yearn for an earlier bedtime or the ice cream we swore we bought, we wouldn’t trade any of it.
I’m looking forward to reading through here, you are an insightful writer.
thx
Thanks, Deb, for taking time to visit and comment. You're right, whenEVER I get frustrated with the "inconveniences" of having them at our home…I pause to think what they could be doing elsewhere.
Love the faces! I remember those days of crazy kids and watching them grow up. Miss them more than anything.