When I submitted a recent post for (in)courage, in spite of so desperately wanting to “get it right”, I felt like I blew it.  Some posts and pieces I write with ease–they almost write themselves–but sometimes I labor with diligence only to toss another digital wad into the TWIA {Trashcan With Insatiable Appetite} at the bottom of my screen.

Have you ever had an end goal in mind but you can’t seem to write the finish line? 

Our theme for the month was “hope” and my post highlighted the work of Compassion International and Mocha Club,
two organizations ~

  • committed to bettering the plight of others…
  • I trust and support with my words (and sometimes my
  • Who offer hope–tangible hope–to those aligned with their organization.

I sooo wanted to serve (in)courage, Compassion and Mocha Club well…but I struggled to express my thoughts.  The post was too long.  I bunny trailed (if I’m not famous for that, I should be).  My perceived literary failure was “confirmed” when the post received only two comments, one of those being from Holley, who as one of my “bosses”, pretty much has to read my posts. 

Two weeks later I received an email that gently reminded me that equating my value or success in writing to the number of readers who respond in comments is…wrong.  

Particularly for the posts where I feel the Spirit’s nudging to write, where I’m compelled to share my heart, when I’m writing on behalf of others (imho, the best use of my writing voice…), how dare I navel gaze to the point of feeling like a loser or forget that I’m intimately known by the Creator of the Universe? 

For goodness sakes, Robin…sometimes you’re an idiot.

A new (in)courage subscriber stumbled across my post, and in response had this to say in a personal email:

Dear Pensieve,
This is Celeste {name changed} from {country removed to protect her identity}. I read your write up in In-Courage, dated 29 September 09 and have since sponsored a child at Compassion International{My heart exploded on contact and my socks were blessed slap off my feet!}
The thought of reaching out to needy children has been with me for a while now. I have been looking out for Christian organization involved in such effort but not knowing their credibility, I have been apprehensive. I had been praying for the Lord to direct me to a trusted organization. Having read your article and after going through Compassion International webpage, I felt the peace of the Lord to go ahead to sow into the life of a child.  {In the words of my sweet friend, !!!  Me?  In part, answer to a stranger’s prayer???}
My heartfelt thanks to you for being a means to connect me with Compassion International.  God bless you super abundantly.  {Done, times a squillion!}

Immediately I responded to “Celeste”, explaining how grateful I was she sponsored a child with Compassion, and also taking the time to tell me.  She wrote again, this time feeling a comfort to share her personal, and at times, painful, story (most of which is deleted for her sake).

Dear Robin,
I am equally delighted to hear from you as well. Our good Lord works in amazing ways to connect people across the globe for His Kingdom work. {You aren’t kidding!}  Yes, you have definitely been a vessel and the Lord’s extended arm to reach out to the lost and needy.  {!}
You may certainly reprint my email. {in answer to my request}  Well, since what you write may impact another person positively to share the joy of sowing, I would like to share my personal story to you.

Celeste went on to explain her dream since her teenage years was to have a happy marriage with 2 children, a boy and a girl.  She now has a nine-year-old son, but after years of trying with disappointment, never had a daughter.  About three years ago, she “knew” she was never going to give birth to the girl she so deeply desired; and at that same time, she decided that even though she may not have a daughter to call her own, she was determined to reach out to a child in need, especially a girl.  She recalled that being the day she began looking for an avenue to sponsor a child.

Celeste’s marriage was emotionally painful during its 11-year duration; in spite of great difficulty, she tried to make it work for her son’s sake.  The date my post was published was the day the court finalized her divorce.  In the midst of a hurtful, tumultuous season of life, Celeste subscribed to (in)courage for encouragement. 

“A few days later, I chanced upon your article and was inspired to sponsor a child.”

 “… I have done my fair share of mourning, murmuring and complaining to the Lord.  In fact at one point, I was so negative and angry with the Lord, I was tempted to let go of my belief system and live life without any values. Through the prayers of close ones and friends, the Lord in His mercy has renewed my thinking and outlook in life. Now, I want to spend the remaining days of my life, here on earth being a salt and light for the Lord. Sponsoring this child, is my first step towards that goal.

“…you have played a very important role in connecting me to Compassion International. Now the ripple of your action will influence and impact my circle of friends and family, whom I will encourage to be also a part of Compassion International.

May the Lord’s blessings always abound in your life!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Sometimes the noise inside my head is not just deafening, it’s blinding.  It blurs my focus.  I’m thankful the Lord brought Celeste into my life to encourage me, challenge me, and remind me in the economy of God, it’s never, no never, about me.

It’s about a , which actually, is pretty daggum cool.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Heartfelt thanks to “Celeste” who continues to make a difference in the life of her Compassion child…and to me, who needed the encouragement she extended.  Funny, it was like a gentle slap in the face, the “softer, kinder” version of Cher and Nicholas Cage in Moonstruck. Remember?

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