It is a dreaded moment when my son steamrolls into my car after soccer practice because of what happens next: he takes off his cleats.
The carpet of my van is a lint brush for his grass-covered socks–bad enough on its own–b u t, the noxious vapor that escapes his shoes is almost visible. I don't even have to see what he's doing to know when they're off, my nose threatens mutiny from my body! If his foot odor could be bottled and sold, it would strip paint, kill weeds and disintegrate the funk in kitchen drains across America. We'd be rich.
A friend of his told him about a product that would at least help the lingering smell in his shoes, Sneaker Balls.
A few days later, our Sneaker Ball
"Hey, Mom…wanna smell my balls?"
With military precision I snapped around to face him, ready to jerk three knots in his head. Dancing eyes and eager, he extended an open hand with a pair of sneaker balls nestled in his palm.
Continuing, "Careful, they're really strong!"
Backing down from my stance and sniffing one of the balls, I wondered if he knew what I had initially "heard".
I couldn't decide if he mastered a perfect poker face or simply was clueless.
If it's possible for both, I think he nailed it…;)
i would roll on the floor laughing, it my puppy wouldn’t come join me! too flippin’ funny. the thing is i can totally picture every nuance of that scene, just knowing the two of you. love you friend, smelly balls and all.
I know a few people who could use those —sneaker balls. Maybe a Christmas present.
and by the way, I think you’ve been played, mom!
Cut the feet off of a pair of old pantyhose, pour baking soda inside, and knot at the top. It will help absorb odors from stinky shoes or other stinky spots. I don’t know how it compares to sneaker balls, though.
Too.Funny.
My husband is a boy trapped inside a man’s body and loves to say balls. And he CANNOT keep a poker face. He giggles every time.
Ha!
Hey! It might just make me smile the biggest when YOU peek in and speak :). SO glad you hit me on a day I actually wrote…it's killing me not to be writing more (so many stories in my head that haven't been told…). I really don't think Stephen meant what I heard…when I looked at him, it was very much "look at how COOL these are" not "I'm getting away with murder…". They should've just called 'em "sneaker eggs" and shaped them oval. THAT woulda covered a multitude of innuendo! Love you, too…maybe see you SOON????
HEHE, so is it Karmyn's gang who've got the stinky feet? Kids love these things–the scent is STRONG and fresh and they work pretty well. And like I told Erin…I think this is *one* time where he didn't mean it in advance (but maybe after he saw the shock on my face).
GREAT idea, Jenni! I just put an open bowl of soda in my microwave to try to remove the scent of burned bacon. S i g h…it took a few days :(.
There's something sexycute about a man who giggles. But don't tell him I admitted that!! 🙂
When I was eight, I was walking through a frozen bean field with the woman I am named after. It was terribly cold, and I repeated a phrase I had heard from school. “I’m so cold, I’m about to freeze my balls off.”
She stopped dead in her tracks and looked at me. “Uh. You don’t have any, do you?” she asked, drily. I had thought this was a synonym for “buns,” and immediately wanted to know what balls really were. She refused to tell me, and laughed all the way back to the house.
Shoot…I am SURE I misunderstood something like this when I was a kid, but can't quite reach the memory. HILARIOUS what YOU misunderstood, though. Made me smile. Out loud :).
ROFL!!!!!!!! Seriously! I’m LAUGHING OUT LOUD!!!!
Well, then. I've done my job (and YOU, my dear, have THIS to look forward to! 🙂 )
Too funny Robin! I sure do miss you guys 🙂 Hope you are doing well – glad we can keep in touch on here!
At a play when I was about seven, the cast sang a song: I’ve Got Hot Nuts for You.
Mom, I asked, What does that mean?
She thought for a minute.
It means you really like them a lot, she told me.
Mom, I said, (you know where this is going) I’ve got hot nuts for you.)
I will never forget the look on her face. 🙂
OH. MY. WORD. Too funny. And I can just imagine the look on your face.
I bet you anything that if if he didn’t say it on purpose, he isn’t oblivious to the way it came out. That’s exactly the kind of humor that plays in boys heads at that age. I know, I sound like I’m sorts of “Boy expert” and mine is only 4. I’m just thinking back to all the jokes and stuff I heard the boys making back when I was 12. And that was AGES ago!
(P.S. Odoban will take the smell of just about ANYTHING. I haven’t tried it on stinky teenage boy shoes. But it works on cat pee. I’m ready, armed and waiting with the Odoban, for when my son’s shoes get the funk. We get ours at Sams or Costco. Use a cap full in the washer, or more for the really STANKY stuff.)
Ooooo that’s a good one! Bless his heart! And yours!
Way to be on your feet, mama! Whew!
Hey Megan! We miss Y'ALL, too! From what I've heard, y'all are adjusting well :). We're busy with all things school, holidays (& work) and if you're in town for Christmas, everyone would LOVE to see you!! 🙂
Hmmm….hot nuts. What a strange euphemism no matter how long ago it was written, lol. BUT, you reminded me of a camp song I've wanted to blog about forever–a camper favorite (we'd scream it at the top of our innocent lungs). The title? (I'm writing it weird so scary bots won't pick it up….) Vio * lent * Love <— it was really a happy-go-lucky FUN song, not icky! S i g h…a different era :).
Yeah, he DID probably know after the fact…he finds bodily sounds and odors hilarious, lol. I've never heard of Odoban, but my word, cat pee? That's gotta be one of the worst smells on the planet to get rid of!
Bless his heart my foot! Or his foot. Or feet.
😉 🙂
They just love to shock us these kids LOL! I actually had some of these ball things for my tennis shoes since I wear them without socks. Hubby saw them in the shoe tray by the door when he was cleaning one day and thought they were just cat toys and threw them away – ACK!