"We're the nerds…we sit at the nerd table at lunch."
It wasn't a pity party or a passive-aggressive attempt to coax a compliment from me, it was a declarative statement, a matter-of-fact assessment of "who" they were by one of their own: a group of freshman girls who weren't the popular kids. Though I tried my best never to show it, their own self-characterization hurt me for them.
They were a band of sisters drawing strength from their number and, by profession more than action, their faith. For a season they lived in shadowy margins.
They weren't like I was back in the day. I was the girl they were challenged not to hate.
I loved these girls; I saw their potential. Their choices protected and insulated them from a world of drama and hurt. When I had one-on-one opportunity, I intentionally praised and encouraged them–kindness to others, an accomplishment in school, or sometimes plain ol' book cover judgment: "You look beautiful today!"
Thoughtful, intentioned words are oxygen.
The heart can shrivel without them.
Images of airbrushed perfection haunt, taunt… a cruel assault from virtually every direction. How much does it grieve me that high school girls are photoshopping their senior portraits, not just to hide a blemish, but to alter features and trim pounds?
They're creating a history that never existed!
It has been years since I was a part of these girls' lives, but Nichole Nordeman's wonderful new song, Beautiful For Me, reminded me of their awkward season. It's critical to tell our daughters early and often that they're beautiful; not focusing on the outside but seeding in their own minds how God sees them: wonderfully made. I pray my own daughter has heard this…and believes its truth.
"Sweetpea Beauty
~ A Girl After God's Own Heart" is the soon-to-be-released dish by Big Ideas, the first Veggie-Tales adventure aimed at girls. It looks darling. Nordeman's Beautiful For Me gives you a glimpse into the story.
Listen to the song. Read the lyrics below. Then seek out a young girl (or 12) to share this message with.
BEAUTIFUL FOR ME
Nichole Nordeman
Every girl young and old has to face her own reflection
Twirl around, stare it down
What’s the mirror gonna say
With some luck, you’ll measure up
But you might not hold a candle to the rest
“Is that your best?” says the mirror to the mess
But there’s a whisper in the noise
Can you hear a little voice
and he says
Has anybody told you you’re beautiful?
You might agree if you could see what I see
Oh
‘Cuz everything about you is incredible
You should have seen me smile the day that I made you beautiful
for me
If it’s true beauty lies in the eye of the beholder
What my life and what’s inside to give him something to behold
I want a heart that’s captivating
I wanna hear my Father say
Has anybody told you you’re beautiful?
You might agree if you could see what I see
Oh
‘Cuz everything about you is incredible
You should have seen me smile the day that I made you beautiful
for me
Close your eyes
Look inside
Let me see the you that you’ve been trying to hide
Long ago, I made you so very beautiful
So I ought to know you’re beautiful
Has anybody told you you’re beautiful?
You might agree if you could see what I see
Yeah
‘Cuz everything about you is incredible
You should have seen me smile the day that I made you beautiful
You’re so beautiful
Beautiful for me
So beautiful for me
Has anybody told you?
Thanks to the amazingly talented Keely Scott for pointing me in this song's direction!
I can’t wait to get this Veggie Tales for my daughter. She’s only 2, but she’ll be picking a lunch table before I know it. Thanks for the tip, Robin!
Such a beautiful post & song! I will be sharing it with my 9 year old. Thank you!
My 12 year old son and his friends call themselves the “Nerd Herd” because he says he would rather say it first then be made fun of.
We are hosting a ministry tour in a few weeks for local youth (girls) about the beauty within and the response has been overwhelming- girls are hungry to hear that they are beautiful and accepted just the way they are. If we {as adults and parents} don’t tell them, they will find somebody to tell them and the consequences can be dire. Thanks for sharing this song- beautiful!
Mary,
Heck, my kids are out of the age for Veggie Tales and I WANNA SEE IT! Ha!
I've tried to write this with sensitivity to the precious ones whose story I shared; it's VERY doubtful they would read this, but above all, I wanna esteem who they were…and are…and always will be :)–known and loved and quite wonderful.
Jessie,
Fantastic :). Perfect age to begin (continue) planting "beautiful" seeds.
Melissa,
I guess naming yourself [whatever] puts you in control of the name, ya know? And I believe it's so helpful to have a like-minded group to help you navigate; there IS strength in numbers. Your girls' ministry sounds perfect for this age; I so want to be the one affirming my kids so they don't "have" to find it elsewhere. You're so right…those "elsewheres" could lead to harmful/hurtful consequence.
That is so sad, about the photoshopping of photos. I am so thankful I never had that done… Well, maybe a blemish or two but that was the limit.
This is an excellent post and the song is so beautiful. I read recently that Jennifer Aniston of “Friends” fame demanded her face be photoshopped in a movie – to many lines – wrinkles. The woman is now 40 or older. How pathetically sad. Thanks for sharing.
Our youth pastor is preaching on Sunday, and when I asked him how he came up with his topic–he said it was in response to the large amount of self-loathing he witnesses. Not just dreams of being different, but of self-loathing. Wow. WOW.
My 14 year old daughter and I have talked about this…and one of our favorite songs is Mirror, Mirror by Barlowgirl. You might like to check that one out too.
Thanks for sharing!
I heard this song when my little girl was watching Veggie Tales. I started searching for the lyrics and found your blog. I love the song and your blog. Thanks for sharing.