I'm a believer in the five love languages as explained by Dr. Gary Chapman; it's a New York Times bestseller
But my youngest son stands alone in our family with a teetering balance of physical touch and quality time, and sometimes that touch thing will send us over the edge.
Like yesterday.
We're driving home from school–and it's been one of Those Days for me, where plans were dashed and life was inconveniently rearranged. Both of my hands are on the steering wheel as he's chattering away and I'm listening with the ear closest to him.
Out of the blue, he reaches over and starts tugging and rolling my elbow skin.
"Wow, Mom, you've got the softest wenis I've ever felt!"
Excuse me?! "WHAT DID YOU SAY?!" He's has yet to stop massaging (?) my elbow.
"Your wenis. I touch people's all the time and yours is the softest I ever felt."
"THAT IS NOT A WORD," I shrill, but he's equally insistent it is.
"Everybody calls it that," he tells me, and I'm wondering how I, the family wordsmith, could have missed such an … interesting … word. It sounds wrong, vulgar, profane…w r o n g! I make mental note to google it when I get home.*
But the kid's not done.
(I can't believe I'm admitting this….)
He moves to my upper arm, where triceps and biceps are supposed to live. He starts wiggling it with one hand and keep in mind I'M DRIVING, helpless to make him STOP THIS OUTRAGE! He is so amused and delighted at the result, he moves one hand on top and one on the bottom and he starts jiggling faster and faster and declares, "I LOVE YOUR ARM! IT'S LIKE A WATERBED!!"
The kid definitely needs coaching on his complimenting skills.
And he is dayem well lucky he lived to see another day.
* * * * *
*Apparently, it is a word.
You learn something new every day, I guess. I’d never heard the word before, either. But hey, your wenis is apparently very nice, so there’s that…
Finally, I knew a word that you didn’t know!!!!!
Oh my gosh, I am laughing so hard right now for two reasons. 1) that you had never hear wenis before and 2) because my girls use that word too and apparently I had blocked it out until just this moment. Oh these kids!!!!!
LOLOL! My stars, this is hilarious! My kids have yet to “compliment” my arm or elbow, but all 3 have said, “Oh, Mom…I just love to rub your stomach. It’s soft and mushy like bread dough!”
Thanks.
Karl, every time I hear that word, I get more creeped out. It’s wrong, I tell ya…WRONG!
Paige, LOL! Seeing the Dictionary.com word of the day I’m learning ALL kinds of new words. Why does that make me happy. And for the record, DO YOU USE THIS WORD IN CASUAL CONVERSATION???
Shelly, IF I had ever heard it, I definitely repressed it! Thanks for joining me for a great laugh :).
Kristen, Yes….your children are lucky to still be seeing light of day :). I’d have them kneading dough for WEEKS after that!! 🙂 😉
Oh the things I have to look forward to when my two boys are older! Yikes!
according to the urban dictionery: the skin on your elbow.
Is it worth remembering, though. hmmmm
Oh my word!!!! Robin! That boy of yours is a gem, I tell ya! Can’t wait to use that on my boys…hee, hee.
That is so funny because just about a week ago my daughter informed us of that very word and we had a conversation about it.
LOVED reading this! Too funny, those boys often have a way with words don’t they, LOL!
My teen boys just shared that same word with me last week…too funny!
LOL, I’ve heard this for a while now, but I don’t think it’s real. It’s not in any real dictionary. (Did you read some of the sentences given where you linked?) Even Wikipedia does not have it. Apparently it is an alternate spelling for the name of one of the Egyptian pharaohs, though. My kids have even told me their high school anatomy teacher told them this term, but, knowing him, I think he was joking. I’ll have to stop and ask his wife tomorrow if I see her at the elementary school.
I hadn’t heard that before, and it’s just not right!!
And btw, I read this earlier today but had to come back and comment, because RIGHT NOW my cat is licking my wenis. EEEK!
I have a son that communicates in this way…to his great amusement!!! Isn’t their timing and choices amazing?
It certainly has boggled my mind that he survives, sometimes, from day to day!
Thanks for the laugh!
That “definition” cracked me up!
And now I feel the need to go sanitize my elbows…
This is absolutely hilarious.