Posted by on May 9, 2012 in Adventures in Germany, Funny Stuff!, Memoir, Personal, Travel | 3 comments

Salzburg is famous for a lot of reasons ~

  • 6828973357_6f317ff1cb_zbirthplace of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
  • where The Sound of Music was filmed
  • beautiful baroque architecture with some of the most famous churches in the world
  • it sits at the northern boundary of the Alps and borders the Salzach River.
  • it’s 45 minutes from our German home (okay, that’s not so famous) and I discovered the most delicious, thick, frothy hot chocolate IN THE WORLD.  I’m pretty sure that’s not an exaggeration.

But the first time we visited I almost froze to death despite wearing thermal layers that had me walking like the Abominable Snowman.  Impossible to take pictures with gloves on – temperatures below freezing – I gave up when my naked fingers stiffened into claws.

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I haven’t seen so many ankle-length fur coats since I played dress-up at the Fur Department in Belks, or either giant minks with human heads had taken over the city.  

We braved the Salzburgian Arctic Tundra as long as humanly possible; but before heading home, Tad needed to use the restroom.  As we’ve discovered in several European cities, public restrooms might require payment.  

And, get this:  some demand that you declare your business!  Number 1 costs less than Number 2, which to me is just TOO MUCH INFORMATION but I suppose it’s based on water consumption and they’re just trying to be fair.

But I’d prefer anonymity and injustice and pay a little more to protect my privacy. My shy bladder looks bold compared to my reclusively private bowel!

Which is likely TMI for you.

Though I didn’t need to “go” I decided to blow my nose while Tad “went”; I wandered into the women’s side of the public WC to hunt for a roll of toilet paper.  My frozen nose hairs were holding back a dam of snot, which sounds mildly offensive, but what IS the nice word for snot?  Mucus?  That doesn’t sound right, so please–I’m beggin’ for your suggestions.  

But I digress.

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I discovered coin slots mounted on all the stall doors, and since I had no euros to open the doors, I turned to paper towels hanging over the sinks.  While I blew my frozen, raw nose with the equivalent of sandpaper, I noticed another wall of sinks and mirrors on the other side of a little hallway, vaguely hearing but dismissing a voice inside my head that said “The bathroom sure didn’t look *that* large from the outside….” 

When I got to the end of the hallway, I noticed a small yellow basket with coins in it sitting in a chair to my right; in a nano second I tried to reason “Why does this side have the honor system…?” when a man’s voice thundered “WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE?!”

Well, I might not have had to go but I about wet my britches and jumped backwards into the ladies room.

Had I just looked to my left, I would have seen a row of urinals and my husband turning and zipping up.  Thankfully, only my husband.

Why there are doors for a men’s side and a women’s side is beyond me when it’s one big happy bathroom with a teensy hallway dividing the genders.

This isn’t quite what I had in mind when I declared 2012 The Year of Adventure.

~ smile ~