Right before I arrived at her house, my friend Paige sent a text–
“Front door is unlocked. Just come on in. I’m finishing getting ready.”
Sneaky little rascal, she is…
Next, we dove into a true Southern breakfast; I’m not sure there’s anything healthy about it, but my goodness it was yummy.
Cracker Barrel ain’t got nothin’ on my friend Paige. I love breakfast food – every breakfast food – and I seem to love every breakfast drink, too. My husband jokes about how my breakfast beverage bill is higher than my breakfast food bill when we go out.
Now that I think about it, I’m not sure he’s actually j o k i n g …..
A n y w a y s…
I thought it was going to be just me and Paige but she surprised me with a few of her friends. First, there was Sammy. Sammy is a baby squirrel rescued when workers chopped down a tree in their back yard–
The thing about squirrels is they’re, well…squirrely. Sammy, in particular, likes to climb inside your shirt and crawl around, and when Paige reminded me his claws were sharp because, you know, they climb trees upside down, it was the perfect time to return him to his cage.
Then there’s Kevin.
Where Sammy is furry, warm and cuddly, Kevin is slick, cool and standoffish.
Then, again, Kevin is a snake. If it’s possible for snakes to be pretty, Kevin is.
Snakes fascinate me. If I’m 100% IT’S NOT GOING TO SINK ITS FANGS INTO ME AND INJECT SNAKE VENOM *OR* WRAP ITSELF AROUND MY THROAT AND SUFFOCATE ME, I like to hold them.
I’ve never seen a snake eat before IN REAL LIFE so when Paige asked if I wanted to feed him, I chomped at the chance. Apparently Kevin hadn’t been fed in a while because when she reached in to grab him, he BIT her! AND DREW BLOOD! She’s had him 10 years and he’s never done that before so I think he was just showing off for me.
I was fantastically inspired by my brush with The Wild Things, so exercising creative license I went to work on a beloved (albeit macabre) English Nursery Rhyme. Be sure to scroll down for the pictures that inspired this literary masterpiece.
Freeze Dried Mice
(hummed to the tune of Three Blind Mice)
Freeze-dried mice. Freeze-dried mice.
See how they’re done. See how they’re done.
They’re bred for food , it’s the Circle of Life.
Snake’s jaw unhinges, devours in one bite!
Have you ever seen such a fright in your life?!
As freeze-dried mice.
Kevin makes me glad I’m warm-blooded.
Bonus, if you are half as fascinated as I was–I recorded a few seconds of Kevin eating. And once again, I’m reminded why I don’t have a career in radio.