Husbands, listen up: I just discovered the BEST, most perfect gift you can give your wife if she happens to be a stay-at-home mother to your children, especially if they still require a lot of help to thrive and stay alive–basically if they can’t dress, wipe, bathe, cook, teeth brush, hair brush, shoe tie, or read themselves. I just wish I could’ve offered this advice before Valentine’s Day. It would’ve won you a lot of brownie points.

Even though my littles are now bigs, I know this of which I speak: when my oldest was still four, I gave birth to our third. For years -Y.E.A.R.S. – I was in survival mode. Since this was about 18 years ago, I didn’t have the benefit of All The Blogs telling me All The Things I needed to know to thrive and survive myself.

Astounding I lived to tell, and even more so, that my children turned out to be decent human beings, WITHOUT, mind you, their daily shenanigans plastered on the World Wide Web.

But that’s another post, no?

Out of the Five Love Languages, God apparently thought it would be hee-larious to partner me with a fella whose last love language was my first–Words of Affirmation. That just means while I was busy trying to a.p.p.r.e.c.i.a.t.e the joys of mothering toddlers and tantrum-throwing two- and three-year-olds, at the end of long days when I was left wanting and depleted, my husband gave me a glass of sand when I was thirsty and needed a drink. Now don’t be all judgy-mcjudger toward him; I was doing the same thing to him. Our ignorance was not bliss. Plus, I was tired.

Bone tired.

Beyond bone tired. What’s the word for that because I am SURE there’s a perfect word for that? At the moment it escapes me, probably because giving birth to three children killed lots of brain cells. I’m pretty certain that’s a scientific fact.

In any event, every day I did the best I could to love my people well. Sometimes I did, sometimes I didn’t, but regardless of my success I used a lot of energy and with little thanks.

Mamas don’t mama to be appreciated, though, do we? I mean, it means a lot when someone really sees us and how hard we’re working, and articulates their gratitude, but if we lived for that, well, a lot of us would die. It’s best to assume all our people are doing the best they can with what they got (and regardless of how they give/receive love), and that they FEEL thankful even if those feelings don’t make their way out of their mouths.

Am I rambling or do you know what I mean?


I mean, even if your love language isn’t words of encouragement, it’s nice to accentuate the positive, yes?

Yes--I am still in my pajamas mug

Of course, it’s temporarily out of stock now because a lot of very smart husbands have already gone out and bought it for their brides, I’d go ahead and get on the waiting list. It’s a key that’ll get you out of the doghouse every time.

You’re welcome.


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