I woke up at 2:43 this morning. At 4:10, it occurred to me it was probably because of the 470 calories of death (aka a caramel machiatto, including espresso) I had at 9:00 last night. Not the smartest of decisions, but it was a yummy punctuation to the spur-of-the-moment date Tad and I had. Yummy Italian. Yummy merlot. Yummy two new books. Yummy coffee-for-dessert-death-drink. Yummy hubby for all of the above (say “yummy hubby” three times fast, you’ll grin).
At first, I tossed and turned. Then I prayed a while. Then I started thinking in rhyme. I finally drifted off somewhere around 5-something, about the time Marlboro Man was probably herding cows or something. Wish I could remember ANY of the poems I composed; I’m sure they were the wittiest, sharpest lines of verse you woulda ever heard. In their stead, I offer a few more, stemming from my excruciatingly painful manic and demented effortless and light-hearted posts yesterday…
No doubts, I’ve been driven insane.
Signing on is even a pain!
Blogger is cruel,
Makes me feel like a fool–
I’m sure I once had a brain!
or this one
I read and I blog and I think
Then write, and pray I don’t sink
When Blogger implodes,
My temper explodes!
I think I’ve gone over the brink.
now you try….
It’s time to write a new post
But Blogger’s a damnable host–
It taunts and it teases,
And rarely, it pleases
___________________________________________
Fill in the blank with your favorite line….better yet, knock yourself out–write one yourself! They’re funny and come quickly (at least as far as “poetry” goes, anyway). 🙂
Here’s one from
Pamela, I’m copying it from comments to here…made me GRIN like this :D.
There was once was a blogger named pensieve
Who woke up at three so intensive
A latte so late
with her wonderful mate
Brought out words for her blog quite offensive
POSTSCRIPT~I don’t think any of you had time to see this, but the first time I hit “publish” and viewed my blog, I had struck through THE ENTIRE BLOG–EVERYTHING, including all the stuff in the right sidebar! Evidently that will happen when you accidently put an “si” instead of a backslash “s” as the ending html command to a strike through, instead of the backslash. Just in case any of you wanna know how to strike through your entire freakin’ blog…. Perhaps that was my “punishment” for writing ugly Blogger limericks. I can assure you….I could write much more acerbically than this (thinkin’ of my kids **sigh**).
It’s time to write a new post
But Blogger’s a damnable host
It taunts and it teases
And rarely it pleases
But IF my pics show up I can boast.
“Get the blow torch – I’m gonna make toast”
There was once was a blogger named pensieve
Who woke up at three so intensive
A latte so late
with her wonderful mate
Brought out words for her blog quite offensive
(hee hee…. it ryhmes)
Okay…. first time to your blog and I’m just loving it!
My writing skills are not what they used to be. Hopefully blogging will sharpen them up a bit. It’s a way of keeping half way sane. It helps me ignore the voices. ha!
What is the deal with blogger these days? I have not run into one person who isn’t frustrated!
Your limericks made me laugh.
“Kelly likes WordPress the most.”
😉
It’s time to write a new post,
But Blogger’s a damnable host–
It taunts and it teases,
And rarely, it pleases
It’s meager and paltry at most.
(btw, YOU GO pamela! That was great!)
Or, how about this:
Annoyed and offended
Incensed and indignant
My patience worn down to the quick.
A formidable host
You’ve devoured my post
And left me forsaken and sick.
Susan !!! You are too creative for your own good. I just like trying to follow you around and read your comments. And no, I’m not stalking you, just enjoying your talent.
Yeah – what Kelly said. ;o) Tee hee –
Blogging for me has become a disease
It’s not unlike a really good sneeze
Thoughts come out in clouds of explosion
I just wish I had a time control potion –
The laundry the house the kids and the spouse
Think I need to spend less time with the mouse!
I’ve had a week that just fits with the entire concept. Here’s to a new week just around the corner!
Hugs,
Holly
Holly’s Corner
I am not good at this limerick thingi – so I spare you :)…
You crack me up though – coffee drink that late – oh my. It wouldn’t be too late for me though, because we usually don’t make it to bed before midnight.
Blogger – well – I moved my blog to WP earlier this year and I am much happier 🙂 – but then again as you said earlier somewhere “You get what you pay for”.
Blogger, you suck
Blogger I’d chuck
if money I did want to pay.
But since I am cheap
I won’t make a peep
I will just wince, moan, and stay.
HA! –
Man, y’all are cracking me up. Let me hype you up with a couple of espressos at 3 in the morning and THEN I’ll cut you loose!
P A R T A Y T I M E !
This habit will seal your fate
When coffee you drink way too late
Your words will be crazy
Your memory hazy
And Blogger will just make you wait.
There was a girl from Tenesee
her folly was there for all to see
her old man and her coffee were hot
but a rude shock she then got
when she couldn’t sleep but she sure could pee.
Let this be a lesson to you
if you don’t want to ruminate past two
then give coffee the flick
now don’t be a hick
or you’ll write something that you may rue.
Shall I go on?
I think Willowtree’s on a roll
He’s a poet deep down in his soul
I was disappointed to see
He stopped his stanzas at three
I guess the rhyming was taking it’s toll.
THIS IS FUN!
Peter……..Susan…….et al….
You slay me! Don’t stop now, for heaven’s sake, we have a freakin’ comedy hour going on over here!
Karmyn, I can’t write anymore verse ’cause I’m working with Stephen on his Oregon project (your stuff really has helped…maybe TOO much! Thanks!!)
I could have pushed it to four
before I was shown the door.
And I’ll warrant that it may be true
three’s not enough for young Sue
But I promise I’ll write never more.
Oh gosh darn gee what the heck!
Willowtree’s back up on deck
This is that last time
that I’ll say it with rhyme.
Cause poetry makes me a wreck.
There once was a girl named Marnie.
Who shouldn’t be confused with Barney.
She wasted away,
And her desk all day,
Wishing her life had an escape key.
(written previously because I am feeling rather uncreative this afternoon)
Susan and WT – you guys are too much!!!! It’s a limerick party at Pensieve!
When bad words of blogger I said
My webpage turned up on its head.
I tried to reboot
and had to yell “SHOOT”
then went and played outside instead.
I thought about my choice of word
in calling the Blogspot a turd
and wondered if “they”
had found out my dismay
and gave me a “flip of the bird”
A “flip of the bird” you do cry
how is that possible, why?
I think they did read
My bad poem and deed
and then shut my page down with a sigh.
But now my page is again strong
and I know what i did was so wrong.
I will not complain
nor hop on the train
of you foolish bloggers -so long.
Hope no one drops in from Nantucket
I hope no one shows up from Regina, that’s the capitol of Saskatewan for those who don’t know.
Hey Karmyn I know of a trick
when blogger is being a prick.
Don’t give it a throttle
just get out the bottle.
Then keep drinking until you get sick.
Yes, Karmyn around seven last night
I tried to log on to your site
I had quite a scare
Cause your site was not there
My screen was just vacant and white.
Willowtree, VERY proud of you for exercising restraint with the “Oh gosh darn gee what the heck!” line. If it was written over at OUAB, I’m thinkin’ it might’ve been slightly more colorful ;).
And, I’m just guessing, is the “i” in Regina a long vowel?
Karmyn, very impressive autobiograpy du jour in limerick form–you go girl!
Pamela, you and your one-liners! Little beats ’em :).
Susan, yes, I thought of you the other night when I was sippin’ my CM :). You’re getting VERY good with this poetry thing. I’m thinking it’s kind of like “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up”. Once you start, it’s hard to stop.
HEE HEE HA HA HO HO –
I can’t keep up with Susan or Pete.
Their limericks are really too neat.
So instead I’ll bow down
to their obvious crown
of best limerick writing to beat
you are a true limerick-er..if there is such a word!
I think you’ve already predicted
All this rhyming has got me addicted
I’m in need of a cure
I’m a gonner for sure
It’s a disease, and I’ve been afflicted.
SOMEBODY STOP ME!! I CAN’T STOP RHYMING!
Okay, so I’m back again to see the spoils of poetry. You’re all quite talented you know?
What I’m trying to figure out is how long it took to post each of those comments. And how many of you composed your beautiful verse only to have it EATEN BY BLOGGER????
Sorry, short vent.
These bloggers are certainly crazy
making my mind sorta hazy
“bloggers the best” or
“bloggers a pest”
why does no one write ’bout Patrick Swayze?
She laid restless at Three Fifteen
Becoming the lymerick queen
but she couldn’t have done it
and Pam wouldn’t have won it
if it weren’t for the darn caffeine.
Amanda, n i c e…you’ve got the “gene”. And Holly, I didn’t hat tip you earlier…..
My the t a l e n t (she says loosely) 😉
All this talk of Starbucks…not fair!
My coffee cup sits here quite bare.
I too suffer afflictions
Of caramel addictions,
And I am starting to pull at my hair.
So here I sit at 1:18,
AM not PM, I mean.
I would really love some joe,
But my bladder would over flow,
and my matress would need a steam clean.
As far as Blogger, I’ve gone Beta, it’s true.
But before I had the same woes as you.
Furious typing and clicking,
Why is that spinning thing sticking?
I think Blogger must need caffeine too.
:O)
Oh what talented bloggers we have here. I am so impressed! It would take me days to come up with something so witty.
Thanks for the entertainment. 🙂