Wastefulness. This bothers me. It bothers me at an increasing level.
Weekly, we throw out an alarming amount of food, enough to feed another family. This grieves me.
I’m sure I’ve failed my kids in many ways, but for the moment, my conviction is diet…nutrition…healthy choices. Just thinking about this makes me shrivel like a salt-covered slug. I shut down. I’m overwhelmed. How can I turn this Titantic around? That’s the thing–I feel like we’re sinking and there IS no turning around.
Although I’m a picky eater, at least I like a variety of fruits and vegetables. When our children were young, because I don’t like this about myself, I introduced EVERYTHING to them as soon as they had teeth. I never assumed they wouldn’t like it, and tried my best to minimize them knowing about my food idiosyncrasies (that really should be "idosyncrazies"). Before teeth, I could cram anything Gerber could come up with into their wee little mouths…who cared if they tongued it back out? I’d just spoon it back in. Even when they got a little older and razzberried peas and carrots all over me and the kitchen walls, I wouldn’t back down.
Somewhere along the way, around the time we discovered cheap "Happy Meals" were an excellent tool for bribery–I’m thinking this went hand-in-hand with potty training–I began losing the battle. Except I didn’t realize it until it was too late. I didn’t even KNOW I was in a war.
It doesn’t sound much like it, but we are not child-directed parents; we’re "graduates" and proponents of "Growing Kids God’s Way" (in spite of any negative press you may have heard about the Ezzos, this was an EXCELLENT resource for directing us as young parents. We may not have agreed with everything that was taught, but there was a sound rationale behind every suggestion they offered). I have to admit, however, they wear me down…it’s all too easy to follow the path of least resistance. For us, that has meant eating out too often, buying too many snacks, not finishing what we have. Sure, we’ve set "rules" in the past–i.e., don’t open another bag of chips until the open one is finished, but it’s not long until somehow there are half a dozen bags of stale chips. This part was easier when they were younger…now, with three in "double digits" (as Stephen excitedly described since he will soon be 10), they have their own, individual "favorites", emphasis on "individual".
I love to cook. I do not love to cook for my children…it has become a daily assault on my person, to try to accommodate five different tastes and preferences. Do not lecture me. Do not tell me "if they’re hungry, they’ll eat". Do not tell me how it is in your family (if it’s explaining how you’re able to "make" your kids eat what’s in front of them. I’m happy for you, sincerely, I just don’t want to hear it). I’m not stupid…intellectually, I know the "right" things to do; the follow-through is what’s biting me in the tail. I cannot stand passive-aggressive comments from people…friends…who have children who are either a) wonderful eaters or b) who are self-righteous in this area.
We are fortunate to have three decent kids. I’m thankful for their personalities and hearts, I’m pretty sure I’m not just being a biased mom when I say they’re delightful to have around (most of the time, anyway…let’s keep it real). But, yeah, if I sound defeated, I am in this area. If you’ve read me for five minutes, you KNOW I’m not negative…you KNOW I have a positive attitude.
Last night we went out to dinner. The place served EVERYTHING from breakfast to dinner, choices pretty much covered the whole spectrum. And, yet, still, one of my kids said "they don’t have anything I like." I came unglued, I wanted to HURT this child. I wanted to lecture about starving children in Africa, and for heaven’s sake, right here in Chattanooga…to lambaste them about taking all we have for granted…to manipulate by guilt…. And the truth is, all that accomplishes is a waste of breath and time. Bloviations like this do little more than fall on deaf ears and cause eyes to glaze over.
It does not change a heart…it does not change a mind.
So…I’m whining, lol. Venting. Combusting heat like a steam locomotive…
According to Einstein, I’m insane: "doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results".
Funny, huh? I can be frustrated as a mutha and still laugh at myself. It’s what keeps me from jumping off a cliff sometimes.
Tad feels my pain…he knows we need to make changes, and he’s all about helping me. His answer was to come up with a spreadsheet and p l a n our meals. Set a realistic goal of how many nights a week I’m going to cook, and incorporate dishes that are tried and true…try some new things…chart a course so we’ll know where we’re going…
After school snackin’ is tough. They ARE hungry, lunch is early in their day. I’ve got to help them make better choices–ice cream, cookies and brownies are soooo tempting! That sugar rush fills them up just enough so dinner isn’t really a necessity…they CAN pick and choose because they’ve loaded up on junk. I’m actually laughing right now, because sometimes I’m my own worst enemy–when our closest grocery store has "buy one, get one free" chips/snacks/etc., the bargain shopper in me goes CRAZY (I just told you I was insane, this isn’t news)! I’M the one who buys all this stuff…….it is soooo hard for me to STOP!
Enough ranting. Thanks for listening. I’ve gotta end on a funny from last night, too. In spite of my utter defeat, yes, there was a lol moment.
I was on my "wasting food makes me grieve" pontification.
Tad: "Well, maybe you don’t need to cook as much food. Like when we grill chicken, there’s always some left over."
Me: "I only cook two whole chicken breasts…that’s four halves for the five of us."
Tad: "Well, maybe only get one whole one. You know how big they’re making those breasts now!"
For those of you who have never had the pleasure of hearing Tad speak, he speaks loudly. All the time.
Thomas looked over at Stephen, and the two of them exchanged "a look", and they both started snickering.
I look at Thomas, and with all the innocence I can muster, I say, "What…what are y’all laughing at?"
Thomas: "Well, Dad is sooo loud, I’m wondering how many people in the restaurant just heard him say ‘big breasts’ and wanna know WHAT in the world he was talking about!!!"
I spewed my ice water across the table…it changed the entire atmosphere of our conversation.
Thank God for divine moments of family comedy.
(p.s. I know there are people dealing with life (and sometimes death) issues that are way more complicated and significant than this little rant…I’ve got it in perspective, folks, for five minutes, I just wanted to be a baby…)
Hang in there!! You’ll get through it!! Hugs!! (and watch out for giant chicken breasts!!)
ROFL!!!!!!!!!!! (*snort*)
Oh, how I would have loved to be sitting at the table behind you…spewing out my artificially sweetened iced tea…through my nose…
LOL!!!
Oh golly, I could have written the same post (although I only have 2 kids in double digits; another year and a half for #3 and 2 1/2 for #4 to make it there).
Add to this the fact that I have a huge weight problem and my kids are the total opposite … skinnier than anyone has a right to be…
But the table funny… now that was a hoot! Sounds a lot like something that would happen to us.
Oh, gosh. I can sympathize with you on this one. My 15m old is as picky as they come and the 8yo has food allergies galore which reduce food options even more. Right now about all the 15m old will eat is the french toast and syrup. I have often thought how much we’d save on groceries and if I planned weekly menus. However, I have accepted the fact that I am a seat-of-the-pants meal maker. And I share your pain! Big chicken breasts and all.
Feel your pain. We are trying to make a list and stick to it, too. But it is reallllly tiring to cook for people that don’t want to eat it.
Good luck.
OMG!! I hope it’s easier with one!! Unless God provides another divine intervention. Then I’m toast.
OH, but I would have loved to have been in that restaurant. ‘Cause Matthew, not knowing what Tad was talking about, would likely have yelled back something like, “You’re telling ME!!”
The Nazi Parent in me says that any child who reaches the double digits and complains about the food their mother cooks is old enough to fix their own meal.
And possibly even to buy their own ingredients too.
(Hey, it’s good prep for the future.)
I feel for you over your fussy eaters. I only have one which is about all I can bear, good luck with your endeavours!
I’m glad you ended with a funny, I loved it!
Won’t comment about kids except to say I had one of the worst eaters; she’s now 40 a food blogger and brilliant cook you may have seen contribution to fun mon (sam becks&posh).
PS great ending
Yikes, I could have written the exact same thing. My favorite part is when you told us NOT to lecture you or tell you how OUR family does it. I often feel the same way in blogging. Intellectually, I already know most of the things people will advise. I just need to vent!
Anyway, my family is the same way. I love when people say, “If they’re hungry, they’ll eat what you put in front of them.” Umm… not so much. Our healthy, strapping well-fed American kids don’t even know what real hunger is, for the most part. Are we supposed to withhold food for oh, say, a week or so, THEN put the broccoli in front of them???
Here is a story that was told to me by a woman I know:
Her sons were 7 and 5 and her baby was 6 months old. One night she made a very healthy dinner (the first since the baby was born) and both her older ones looked at it and said, “I don’t like that.”
She asked, “What do you like?”
They both said, “Fish Sticks and Mac&Cheese.”
so – she proceeded to cook Fish Sticks and Mac&Cheese for the following 7 days in a row until both her older boys were BEGGING for a new food choice. They NEVER Complained about her meals again – because if they did, they knew what was coming.
(and she said, recently the baby – who is now 7 tried to complain one day and the two older ones fell upon him and shut him up promptly)
(no morale from this – just thought you’d enjoy it)
Just for the record, with my kids-oh, wait, I don’t have kids. But when I do, I’m sure I’ll do everything perfectly and they will beg for asparagus and brussel sprouts and turn their noses up such monstrosities as the partially-hydrogenated oil-laden fast-food burger.
😉
Don’t feel bad, I have the same problem I PROMISED myself that I would never make 4 different meals in one night. PROMISED. But here I am, struggling because the 3 of them eat about 5 things each, LOL!
OH well, at least the hubs is happy with cereal/pb&j some nights, so at least I don’t always have to worry about him.
To top it all of, poor Emma looks like we don’t feed her. She eats all day long ( snacks), but is a peanut. At least her doc says she is healthy.
I’ve had adice given too, I just wish it were as easy as “eat or don’t eat”. My kids are very stubborn, it’s a test of wills most nights.
Dude – this is why I come back to this blog. Seems like I can always relate…….
ugh – the whole food issue……..don’t need to say any more, just ‘UGH’.
LOVIN the story that Karmyn wrote about. I think it’s a great idea that I just might have to try……!
Big Breasts… that’s good. Don’t worry about your kids’ eating habits now – they’ll grow out of it. Look at me. I was an incredibly picky eater, but it took a girl to change that a bit, and then my own initiative and introduction by close friends to join a natrual food coop and buy all natural and organic stuff to eat. They’ll be fine. I grew up on Tuna Helper, Rice-a-Roni, and Jello.
Can I just say, y’all are AWEfreakinSOME!!?! That’s not really a question, it’s an exclamation:)!! Thanks for letting me vent, I feel much better, thank you.
Maybe it’s just the strawberry smoothies I made for an afternoon snack…but I think it’s cause y’all R A W K!
Ok…now to my individual thoughts…
Claudia, Thanks :)…I’ve been duckin’ ’em all day.
Susan, that’d be okay as long as that’s ALL that was spewing out your nose. I have issues. But don’t you, too?
Karen, I think one more kid means you might be writing this post yourself very soon :/. Having children has made me more conscious of what I eat, and stuff like not eating breakfast regularly (I drink it instead…coffee, three cups, most mornings). Sadly, while I’m conscious of it, I haven’t been motivated to change the bad habits…
Jill, I think we went through the french toast phase a few times, lol. But, see? Lots of peeps have it worse than me…no food allergies in our house (is that something he’ll grow out of?). Nice self-description (or were you talkin’ about me?) :).
Tracey, that’s how I felt last night and when I was writing: t.i.r.e.d. Or try w.e.a.r.y. Or d.e.f.e.a.t.e.d. A list is definitely a good starting point.
Stephanie, if Matthew had seen ME, he would have known in a skinny minute Tad was talking about another woman :/. C’est la vie ;).
Erin, Nazi, eh? But you seem so s.o.f.t. and s.w.e.e.t. Kinda like a pit bull ;).
(That didn’t even make sense, but it made me smile 🙂 ).
Beccy, heck, I’M glad I ended with a funny. I needed that or a drink!
Chris, EUREKA! YOU’VE GIVEN ME HOPE, WOMAN! I’ve read Sam’s blog (although not regularly), and it’s smashing. Every time I’ve done so, I think, I need to check back more often, lol.
Rachelle, were you preachin’, sistah? Cause I sure wanted to shout “amen!” when I read your comment.
Karmyn, that has actually crossed my mind before, but I’m too chicken (no worries, no giant breasts;) ).
Heather, they’ll want asparagus just so they can pee and smell the rancid odor. But you’ll be happy because they eat asparagus. Can’t wait til the baby arrives :).
MaryMert, is this a battle we wanna fight? Is it a battle we need to fight? I think the answers are no, yes. I remember when we used to prepare more than one meal. Gary and Anne Marie (Ezzo) whipped our tails :/. (I should reference one of my mommy-mantras now: “whatever it takes!!!”). Good luck……:).
Oooo, Kristy, if you do, you MUST provide a report…upload a video or SOMETHING!
Mark, I noticed you capitalized Big and Breasts…is that significant??? Hmmmmm? An organic food coop…I missed that…but goodness knows I haven’t missed some of your i.n.t.e.r.e.s.t.i.n.g. food posts.
Psst – I’ve tagged you in my post for tomorrow (wednesday)
Dear robin. Yes, I hate wasting food. This is a problem when Mr Moi doesn’t like to eat leftovers more than a day old. I usually soldier on with the task. Also, I hated veges until I was 14, then realised if I wanted to lose weight, I had to recalibrate my expectations. Now I love fruits and vegies, not just cause they’re healthy, but cause I really do! Personally I think you have to have a slightly older palette to enjoy some vegies, like aubergine/eggplant, fresh podded peas, capsicum/bell pepper etc…. ANYWAY long comment short, don’t feel bad. Perhaps overcook more – like double – do you can chuck the leftovers in the freezer for a whole other meal.
I’m picky too.
I only like two kinds of pie.
Hot and cold.
Robin
Coming from the world’s pickiest Georgia girl (and her ultra picky family) – don’t worry about it as long as they are healthy and (mostly) happy 🙂 My plan is always to fix 1 thing for each person – sure, it gets a little odd in the combinations but at least each person has ONE thing they will eat at the dinner table. Other than that, oh well. It’ll get better or they’ll move out 😉
Karmyn, I’m IT??? Cool!
Dear Little Miss Moi, I had to smile as I read your comment, I wouldn’t have known what aubergine or capsicum are without your additional slash :). I see the wisdom in some of what you say…there are things I’ll eat now I didn’t eat as a child–can anyone say “baby bellas”??
Pamela, are you sure you aren’t one of my kids?
Suz, you get that distinction only because I live in Tennessee now ;). You’ve kind of taken the approach that I have. LOL, but I’ve been reading recipes the past two days…I forgot how much I like to READ cookbooks! ha!
I’m probably so late in this conversation that you’ll never read this.
why don’t you have the kids cook a meal? you get this saturday, you get next Saturday, etc.
Just a thought. I don’t even know what the goal would be, except to say, you’ll find out that “you can’t please everyone, so you’ve got to please yourself.” (oops, just sent myself off into an ‘oldies’)
LCO, it’s a cheap thrill when someone comments to an older post, lol. I hate it when some of my faves miss a decent post…not that this one qualifies as decent, lol.
Rachel has done a bit of cooking…it gave her a whole new appreciate for me when she understood the entire process (prep/cook/CLEAN UP). Plus, seems like the boys were critical of something and it all “clicked” for her in that moment.
I’ve toyed w/variations of your suggestion…I’ll letcha know if we ever pull the trigger :).