We went to a memorial service for Timothy and several things occurred to me at the time:
1) Although I had attended a grave-side service for a baby born pre-term to a friend of mine before, I had never gone to a service like this for a toddler (15 months). In this age of technology, services are just…different…than they used to be. Prior to, and appropriately during, there was a larger-than-life slideshow made of pictures of him, from birth to fairly recently. There was a huge lump in my throat throughout the entire service, particularly when seeing photographs of him with his father….
2) Their family clung to each other during the entire service…like they were holding on for dear life. I suppose they are.
3) There was a police presence there which seemed odd to me (I wondered if they had received any "threats" following the accident). At the end of the service, though, the pastor acknowledged the "Christian officers" who attended; I guess it was a show of support for the family. I’m sure they GRIEVE finding the scene they discovered…and this is one time they believe it was a horrible…tragic…mistake.
4) But most of all, it struck me, that Timothy, in just 15 months’ time and before he could even speak, will affect and touch more people–some, for eternity–than many of us will affect in a lifetime. A beautiful and redemptive postscript on a life cut all-too-short by tragedy.
That makes me want to live w e l l.
How horribly sad for this family – I got teared-up reading your original post. Wasn’t sure if the father was allowed to attend, if he had been released, etc. A similar situation happened in my hometown, and the family was so loving, so close – they didn’t realize the child had crawled into the vehicle on the way to a ballgame…
I hope this family can find strength and comfort thru their faith.
I’ve thought about this family every day since you first posted about the tragedy. Since reading about it, it’s made me more careful; more attentive; more appreciative; and more aware of how fragile life is.
You just don’t think it can happen to you. This is the type of thing that happens to anyone else. I’m sure that’s what this family thought.
I can’t imagine a despair more agonizing than losing a child…particularly living with the realization that it didn’t have to happen, that you could have prevented it. Even if you believe in your hear that your days have been numbered, I can’t imagine that it makes dealing with the tragedy any easier.
Oops…I meant “believe in your heart” not “believe in your hear.”
:/
I too have been thinking a lot about this family – putting myself in the mother’s position. Would I be able to forgive my husband? Would the loss of my child be too much for me? How could I keep my family together when it was all in shambles.
It is just sad all the way around….just recently there was another story about a mother who left her car and then jumped back into it and began backing up – not realizing that her toddler had crawled out of the carseat and was now behind the car…..I now CHECK to make sure both kids are safely secure before moving my vehicle. slips of the mind = horrible accidents.
Thanks for posting this touching follow-up. Your description of the family as they were “hanging on for dear life” says it all. So tragic!
Thanks for stopping by today. Sorry, I’ve been MIA lately. My step-Mom passed away on Mother’s Day (fitting–she was the quintessential Mom) so my blogging keyboard has been taken over with myriads of e-mails! It’s a sad time for my Dad, but the rest of the family are doing OK. I’m slowly recovering from my whirlwind trip last week to help him with the final details of his move. Utterly exhausting.
I LOVED your tea party prize basket… with all the photos. Funny, my step-sisters (Canadian) are planning a Memorial Sevice tea. And your cups and glasses pics are terrific! Just learned about the high quality of Riedel recently… does it really make a difference?
When do we get to see your bathroom pics? (Or did I miss them.) LOL, so you’re a showers only girl!
Hugs, e-Mom
It’s one of those times when I just have no words.
I can’t think of anything more distressing than a child’s funeral. I really hope the family gets through this.
Grieve now, but make sure you have fun with the kids tonight.
Words can’t convey the sadness and sympathy I feel for the whole community… Truly, life is fragile…
What a hard day!
((hugs))
How very sad. I really feel for that poor family.
Dear robin. Just so sad.
I think that must be the toughest thing for any family.
These are the times that make me realize how much i hate what this world has become. this is not the way it’s supposed to be.
Tiggerlane, that’s the ONLY way they’ll be able to get past it, ya know? He was released shortly after arrest and his court date is before the end of the month. I was glad he was able to go home….
Susan, I know it sounds odd (even backwards), but good things are happening as a result, I’m sure you know how I mean that. From a strictly human perspective, nothing makes sense about it; from an eternal perspective, there’s purpose and belief that ultimately “…all things work together for good…”. It’s more difficult to imagine when you look into the faces of your babies…
Karmyn, legitimate questions, and this kinda thing has the potential to WRECK a family and a marriage :(. I guess it comes down to not allowing yourself to focus on the circumstances but on God…knowing that He can heal broken hearts in spite of the pain. Soooo much easier said than done.
Your comment made me think this, though: I wonder how many lives will be SAVED as a result of parents being more careful with their own kids… That’s something good to thing about :).
Gracious, e-mom, you deserve your OWN comment back! You covered a whole lotta ground in one shabang!
1) I read someone allude to your sad “news” in a comment, but didn’t fully understand what had happened. You have had a rough go of it lately–much to assault your emotions. What a lovely way to describe your step-mom; and I’m sorry to hear of your loss and the effect on your dad (who has had a rough go of it lately himself :/). My sympathy and prayers are with you all. {{{hugs}}}
2) Is the Memorial Service tea in honor of your step-mom? What an unusual but lovely idea.
3) Thanks for the thoughts on my FM post :). Okay, I KNOW I’m no sommelier, but drinking a g.o.o.d. pinot noir out of our glasses was DELICIOUS! Somehow the glass cupped the aroma and I loved the feel of the thin crystal as I drank. Again, maybe it was all in my head, but none of our other (cheap) wine glasses compare to the feel of it.
IT’S WORTH CHECKIN’ OUT THE WEBSITE I LINKED TO ;).
4) No, you haven’t missed the “unveiling”, lol…the bathroom pics are coming…I really am having a hard time finding the time to blog. I’m afraid I’m gonna lose any readers I have because a) it’s all I can do to get a post written each day, and b) I have read/commented VERY LITTLE lately :/. It always intrigues me how much I miss my bluddies when it’s been a while (kinda like missing my friends IRL when it’s been too long….).
Okay…I think I covered everything…:).
Carol, I hear through the silence……
WT, Hmmmm, quite an ecclesiastical comment…:)
Tracey, well said. Very well said.
Thanks, Malissa, cyberhugs are always a good thing.
T.O. Bear and Little Miss Moi, yeah, it’s a story I wish was only a worst-case scenario, not a real-life drama.
Beccy, I think you may be right.
Heather, know what I thought when I read your comment? “And it won’t be this way forever…thank God!”
Some local people had a sleeping child they left in car (garage) and when he woke up he got out of his car seat and tried to climb out the window. the window had electric push button… he stepped on it. Yes.. he died.
All these people suffer the remainder of their lives.
That is a horrific tragedy. I agree God has a purpose for all things,and that it is so hard to have faith that Good can come from this, this is so sad because my baby girl is 15 months old and I wouldn’t want to trade places with this mother. My heart aches for her and her family, but leading by example to be more aware of where my children are, especially living here in Arizona, we experience so many drownings from parents who don’t watch their children around their pools. The whole family suffers.
Love your tea set, it’s so pretty and pink. The cream scones sound yummy too. 🙂
I came back for a visit from Fun Monday yet and glad I did. My heart goes out to this family and all who hear this tragic story. As a parent of three I know all too well no punishment that is given will ever be as bad as what this father will heap upon himself. Good grief, it’s just so sad.