Before you go on, even if you never click links in a post, PLEASE READ THIS (very short post, I PROMISE) and the comments. Go ahead…feel free to comment to it…I’m thrilling to these comments…I really could use another from you. Yes, YOU! And if you’re wondering if I mean you, YES, I DO mean YOU!
Okay…if you’ve read the other (very short) post–you may now continue. Truly, really, I value obedience in a person, so your compliance is appreciated. And not just appreciated, but greatly so. There’s a difference, trust me.
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Oh, mercy.
Oh, my ever-lovin’ m e r c y.
Oh, my ever-lovin’, slap-me-naked-and- hide-my-clothes-but-first-close-your-eyes mercy!
Let’s make the general clarification of the previous post simple. For those who’ve read me a while, you already know I’m the Mistress of Enumerated and Nested Lists. Don’t even try to compete…I’m afraid I’ll whip you like Aunt Estelle’s mashed potatoes every.time.
1) I’m "okay", and by "okay" I mean I laughed at least 23 times today. Hmmm, slightly above average. You might want to note that laughing a) does NOT always mean "funny ha-ha" kind of laughs, sometimes it might mean b) the hyena’s hacking up a hairball or c) I think you’re an idiot but I’m disguising it by smiling, nodding my head and giving you a "mercy chuckle".
Still, laughter is divine, so 23? I’m definitely okay.
2) Our house has a) NOT been leveled by an out-of-season tornado, b) NOT been ransacked by a band of marauding space gypsies, but c) IS under renovation (I mentioned this a few weeks ago).
3) Renovation includes a) repair of some damaged/rotting wood outside, b) painting our outside trim, c) demolition of a wall in our kitchen, and d) other painting…replacing a broken window…and other little this-es and thats.
Here we go…this is where I get discombobulated… you might want to fasten your seatbelts:
People are in my house all the time not just people but w.o.r.k.e.r.s. and they need me to make decisions and answer questions and did I mention make decisions when ohmyword, someone tell me how many times I’ve explained I have a completely off the chart slightly-above-average inability to make a choice about ice cream, let alone how tall to make the bar, what color red to paint the new pantry/cabinet (I’m pretty sure there are 761 variants and when you add finishes and glazes that number grows exponentially!), how many inches over from the wall to hang the light, ma’am, you’re going to need to buy a new, double- paned window because the replacement glass we got just broke AGAIN, do you care that we can’t find the exact spindles for the porch rail because the one we found has three bands, not two ahhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHH B.R.E.A.T.H.E.!
And, as I’ve mentioned both HERE (see #4b) and more recently HERE (see #3), I cannot "go" when out of town OR with people "around" and even when I need to tinkle, no matter which bathroom I choose (we have three), I hear people–no workerMEN–talking outside the window or door and I have performance anxiety and I can’t go and if this keeps up much longer I’m terrified I’ll have to investigate usage of "the dreaded apparatus" and that would NOT be ha-ha funny, it would be hackin’ up a hyena hairball SICK and I might just have to go somewhere "special" to recover and THAT would NOT be a good thing ahhhhhhHHHHHHHH B.R.E.A.T.H.E.!
And, none of my kitchen stuff is where it used to live because I had to move it around so they could saw and sledgehammer and otherwise obliterate the wall where our microwave and coffee mugs USED to hang out, so now all my "s t u f f" is all over the place and we’ve got too much of it, so maybe I need to give it away since I’m a minimalist wannabe and might as well start now since my crap temporar
ily doesn’t have a place to sit anyway except for crammed in another cabinet where you can’t get to it anyway or stacked on our dining room table ahhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHh B.R.E.A.T.H.E.
And today because I felt bad for Stephen since he’s lonely because Rachel and Thomas are at camp this week, we met some friends at the park and he played in a really cool fountain and rode the amazing carousel and we ended the visit with
Clumpie’s, and, although I HAD to try "Creamsicle" and wonderfully, it tasted like the original, OF COURSE I ended up with chocolate, then Stephen went home with one of those little boys and I drove 45 minutes to the cabinet place, spoke with not one, not two, not three, but FOUR different people there, then picked up Stephen, then came home (praising God, to an EMPTY house!), looked in the mirror, saw CHOCOLATE FREAKIN’ ICE CREAM DRIED ON MY CHIN and NO ONE bothered to tell me and I remembered when someone DID tell me WORSE and I decided right then and there that yes, I’d rather "know" ahhhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHH B.R.E.A.T.H.E.
And after dinner, while Tad was at his men’s study, Stephen was beating me like Keith Moon’s snare . . . hustlin’ little punk and I played "Gin", and I knocked my fingers on the table by accident and broke the nail I actually paid to have repaired TWICE and it broke AGAIN 🙁 and it’s not that I’m too vain to have a broken fingernail, it’s that it’s too low to come off all the way, it’s attached by a sliver of skin and it HURTS and now it’s too far gone to be repaired a third time but who wants to pay three times for a stupid nail even if it hurts?
I’m too tired to breathe.
But NOT too tired to grin.
Thanks, guys, I am so, SOOOOoooo sorry my last post was misleading. Honestly, it didn’t occur to me it would be taken the way it was, but your kindness, your concern was touching. It’s nice to know if flying monkeys attack or a deranged cat juggler decides to mangle my den, y’all will be waiting in the wings to offer your support…pray for us…and encourage me in general.
Oh, and I couldn’t upload my own pictures earlier because, in perfect discombobulation mode, when I linked the cord to the laptop, the battery died (so I googled an image quickly). For fun, I’m repeating a picture from Fun Monday a few weeks back and what our kitchen looked like yesterday…see the thin coating of dust? No 
wonder I’m having problems breathing…;).
dust.
finally something I can relate to. ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
haha. good one!
Glad all is well… Turkey!
Pamela, sadly, there’s so much of it, IT.CAN’T.WAIT.!
T.O.B., you were RIGHT with your FIRST inclination!
Mike, I’m waiting on the MAC Powerbook…you said don’t hesitate to ask…!
Young Lady ! If you E.V.E.R. scare your SwampMama like that again, I will just have to stop this car and deal with you in a manner that will hurt YOU more than it will hurt ME. (Did I get that right?) I never used it on my girls, so I don’t know.
So happy you are not out looking for your casserole dish that the tornado deposited somewhere.
WHEW!
Hang in there girl!!!
LOL!! Oh Robin, you are priceless!! i’m definitely laughing with you because that post perfectly conveyed the confusion!! I hope the kitchen goes faster than your bathroom (which it sounds like it will with all those workmen around demanding answers!!) More hugs!
SwampMama~Well, I AM looking for all kinds of dishes, but the name of the tornado is “Robin”.
Laurel, a beach vacation couldn’t have come at a better time…
Claudia, I was hopin’ the feel of my insanity would translate (hehe…). Guess what? Two of the guys “are sick” today. Interesting…they got paid yesterday…hmmmm….
WHEW! Glad the broken stuff was nothing – all except the fingernail, of course – OUCH.
Ha! So glad to know it wasn’t mother nature that made that mess and hole! Hope the dust doesn’t drive you too batty.
K, I’m having a hard time typing…it’s the right index finger :/…a bandaid is keeping it intact until I can rip that sucker all the way off.
Nikki…hope it doesn’t drive TAD too batty!! :).
lol…they were probably hung over!
Renovation is R.O.U.G.H.
I’m glad all is well – sort of.
Hope everything comes out OK – if you know what I mean…~smile~
I really didn’t think that was your place but I wasn’t sure, from the pictures you’ve posted for Fun Mondays, I just couldn’t see how there could be another a house so close to yours.
Let’s all spare a thought for the poor girl in the photo.
Somehow, I’m more worried about your nail than any of the other things. B/c I know I’ve had them repaired twice in one week, and they freakin’ HURT when they get in the state of yours…O.U.C.H.
And you’re making me wish I hadn’t signed final loan docs to start our home construction.
Breathe for both of us, k?
Ah, well you’d better go by snopes.com and stop that scary urban legend that was started about you! heehee
I didn’t really think you’d be posting a blog note if your home was in a disaster, but I didn’t want to ruin eveyone’s fun….;)
I was laughing so hard while reading this post though…thanks. lol
Dear robin. I’m totally with you on the decision making thing. Totally. Words can’t describe how I’m totally like that too. I hope the renovations go okay and that the nail doesn’t hurt tooooo much!
“hyena’s hacking up a hairball…” There’s an image. And sound. I’m glad your cryptic post beforehand proved innocuous.
Well. Whew. I had the thought that is was just a photo of how you were feeling, rather than your own home, but I was still worried.
ANYway. Wish my kitchen looked like your kitchen USED to look!! And are the workers working over the weekend? Maybe you could catch up in the bathroom then??
Claudia, he was SOMETHING all right ;)…but I don’t think he’s a drinker (he told me “I don’t touch that stuff!”)…said something about pizza. Whatever the case…I doubt he was really “sick”.
Beckie, ahhh, love the double-entendre…funny girl, you are.
Peter…sometimes your sensitivity surprises me…which is kinda sweet :). Plus, I KNOW you see the details, if anyone woulda noticed it was NOT my house, it would’ve been you!
Tiggerlane, you are such a girlie-girl–I love that you’re worried about my (YES-IT’S-HURTING) finger! It finally came off (I HAD to cut it, it was killing me), and my boo boo huwrts). Friend, I FEEL for you…I cannot imagine building a house…the mere thought sends me into a downward spiral!
Crikl, GLAD you got a laugh…I LOVE to laugh, even at my own expense :D. And gracious, I’m a tried and true blogger, OF COURSE if my house was obliterated in an alien invasion I’d take time to post about it.
Dear LMM, I can’t decide which one of us has a harder time making decisions ;).
Kurt, I should be innocuous more often…I was totally feeling the love…and laughing…and feeling guilty because I was misleading, but loving the love and laughter… (huh?)
Tracey, uh oh…we’re headed out of town. That can only mean ONE thing…and that ain’t good! And, you’re right…the photo was supposed to communicate “mood”….