While I’ve got the kids working, I thought it’d be fun to live-blog my day; if I’m getting eaten alive and regurgitated, I’d want it memorialized (blogger to the end!). What can I say? I’ve got a computer, the internet, and it’s impossible to "write" write, so I might as well "play" write.
First period. Free. Works out nicely so I could steady my footing and plan the day.
Second period. 7th graders. For fun, I had them answer roll call with their favorite candy. There was a hint of "good things" to come. Typically, I don’t think roll is actually called, but I want to know their names (easy, since I already know most of this grade). We’re working through a study of cells and their function. Uneventful class.
I should’ve known that wouldn’t last long….
Homeroom. School is intense for six hours a day, homeroom should be a respite. At the beginning of class, several of the guys exchanged dollar bills for change. Miss Phillips has a snack stash in her room, so I assumed it was for that.
What happens when you "assume" anything (factor in these are 8th graders…)? Y e a h …exactly.
This falls under the heading "WHAT WAS I THINKING???!"
When one of the students came back to my desk to get more change, I investigated further. They were playing cards…and brilliant deducer that I am, I connected the dots. "Y’all are playing poker??? FOR MONEY?????"
Ai yi yi……they weren’t too happy when I put an end to that (although for half a second I thought about joining the game and cleaning their clocks) (I kid, I KID…I never can remember whether a full house beats two pair) (am I an ingenue or a grifter?)
Third period. 8th grade. This class came with a bit of "reputation"…I knew some of the jokers from past experience. I thought I’d outsmart ’em. One of their class projects is a wall-sized weather mural, complete with types of clouds, layers of sky, fronts–all labeled. Only a few students can work on the mural at a time, so I asked the class who were typically the "most-disruptive-for-subs" students (please realize delivery of that question made it unobjectionable–they knew I wasn’t name callin’).
I chose two guys to work on the mural and thought that would keep them occupied and out of mischief.
It did keep them occupied. But for one, it was little more than an invitation to trouble.
The rest of the class was working on creating a 25-question study guide they’d exchange later in the week. While I was answering a question, I heard a commotion in the back. A student was grimacing in obvious pain, reaching for something in the back of his shirt and on his arm.
Hot glue. Hot glue that was supposed to be used for labeling the weather mural–not maiming and torturing classmates.
This is NOT something you want to do under my watch (even if technically I missed it).
I knew my reaction mattered…it mattered for the rest of the day today, it mattered for tomorrow, and it mattered for my future "subbing" reputation.
My response?
I sent the offender to the office immediately; and while I didn’t launch into my "I’m not here to be your friend…" speech, I did sternly and calmly express a "righteous indignation" on behalf of the student who was burned. And, yes…I diatribed it can SO be a verb! "…Trust me, y’all WANT me to sub for you and I’m not about to put up with this kind of junk…"
You could’ve heard a pin drop.
They went back to work. Q u i e t l y.
Fourth period. 7th grade. Eventful in that they FINISHED their study guides and we were able to review answers before the bell rang. Except for Jimmy, who had the singular distinction of NOT EVEN STARTING HIS GUIDE until I came and looked over his shoulder; he BEGAN work on his outside the class, while I confirmed answers inside.
You don’t want to mess with me. Remember…I can stop a moving car with my bare hands.
Fifth period. 8th grade. I can’t remember…that was hours ago, right? If I can’t remember, that means it went well. 100% attendance, probably about 94% cooperation.
Sixth period. 7th grade. This is the class my son Thomas is in. It’s a large class, these kids know me, THAT works to my disadvantage. Chatty, challenging, but still uneventful. Aside from half of them leaning back in their chairs (a personal pet peeve), nothing eventful.
Seventh period. Eventful. Very… to be continued….
The last period of the day came with a reputation…not the good kind. Eighth graders, rambunctious boys…full of life and themselves.
Because I HATE the thought of my own children being automatically pegged, and because typically I err on the side of favorable expectation.
Ooops, Blog, Interrupted. CLICK HERE for the conclusion. Sort of.
That roll call was pretty clever…
Wow, you’re in the thick of it RIGHT NOW! That’s a true servant’s heart for you to offer to do this. Hopefully your kids will eat their words later and tell you how glad they are that you did this. But they’re kids so don’t hold your breath. Great idea for roll. It gets buy in right away. I think I might steal that idea. I’ll say a quick prayer for you and for those involved in the tragedy. (Am I allowed to pray for you while I’m sitting in a public school right now???)
Dear robin. Wow you’re a brave lady! Hope you survive the day with at least a little energy intact… Good luck!
(Raises hand…waits…waits…taps fingers on desk…clears throat…)
“Excuse me…Ms. Substitute Teacher?”
“Yes?”
“I have a bit of a dilemma in need of immediate rectification.”
“Oh! Very nice use of this week’s vocabulary words. So what seems to be the problem?”
“Well…I have to use the…um…facilities…”
“Problem solved. You may be excused.”
“Actually, that’s only half of the problem.”
“And the other half is…?”
“I’ve been hot-glued to my chair.”
Wow that’s a day and a half. Hot glue is always a nightmare in classroom but it sounds like your doing great!
Love the poker players too funny!
I still think you are one brave lady.
oh, I wish I could have been there to see it!! LOL…and I have an idea!! You can threaten them with some vegemite…I’m sure Willow won’t mind sharing!
Wow very interesting! Great idea to live blog it
Too funny! I love that you did this. And I’m very curious to read about your very eventful seventh period. Today I had a “heard in my world” too. Right in the middle of a serious conversation with pre-kindergarteners (I know that sounds like an oxymoronic phrase) about the transition to kindergarten, one five-year-old raises his hand and says,
“If there was an elephant in my refrigerator, that would be silly.”
Oh I am making such progress…
You are too much! I love this….
I see you’re not finished. It’s just gonna get worse, isn’t it? Every time I even think of moving up and getting some secondary teaching experience, I hear stories such as these that hit me square in the head and scream, “ARE YOU CRAZY???” Thanks for sharing this and knocking some sense into me. I LOVE teaching elementary students! I just need stories like this to remind me how much. 🙂
Shalee, It definitely was different and distracted them for at least a few minutes; of course, occasionally I got a “strange” candy preference–yeast, chapstick, kumquats…go figure ;).
Robert, thanks for the prayers, the day went well in spite of a few “things”. My son told me after school “everyone loved me and thought I was the best sub”, at least in 7th grade. I doubt the kid I threw out of class thought that…:/.
Little Miss Moi…it’s kind of funny, but I slept through American Idol AND Dancing with the Stars last night, catching only glimpses. I was SO TIRED! That was probably due more to my sleepless night, though….
Stephen, ha. ha. After yesterday, I’ll be VERY careful @ who gets to use the glue gun!
Marmite, it WAS a good day, in spite of the few things I had to deal with. I will say this, the last class of the day was the most difficult…but at least no one was thrown out of class…
Karmyn, this time yesterday morning, I was scared to death. Silly, huh?
Claudia, WT has been quiet on my blog; then again, haven’t I been quiet everywhere else but here??? Heck, I’m not even commenting to Ree’s!! :/ (hugs to you, btw)
Kelsey, a lot of my day is “watching” them while they work through their class work; I guess I could’ve read a book, but with the constantCONSTANT distraction, blogging was MUCH easier.
Kelly, lol, OH how I love the RANDOMNESS of that age!
Kristy, HEY CUTIE!
Robert, Elementary kids are definitely sweeter…though I did have fun. It ALWAYS gives me an appreciation for teachers when I sub (EVERY parent should have to do it at least once!). 🙂
I have absolute respect for all teachers, especially substitutes, and even more those who deal with middle schoolers! I will take the inmates I work with any day over kids!
I can’t wait to hear more. Really, is there anything more adventurous than subbing at a middle school? I think not. You are a brave, brave woman.
Glad to see you are still with us.
Makes me want to rethink subbing for summer school this summer.