"Need" is a relative term, don't you think?  How often do you begin a sentence with the words "I need…" when the truth is "I want…" would be more accurate? 

No irony is lost as I pen those words on Black Friday (**wink**).

While I'd love to explore the distinction between needs and wants, this post isn't about that exactly…perhaps a qualifier would help me express my current state of "need": 

Because I've grown accustomed to the convenience it provides and everyone in our family uses it every day, I need a new microwave.

"Why?" you ask.  Well, yesterday while heating the packet of glaze that accompanied our Smithfield Spiral Sliced Ham (recommended by my beloved Paula Deen), it exploded.

It wasn't pretty.

Exploded ham glaze

Glazing the ham and popping it back in the oven for 15 minutes was one of the last tasks to complete for our Thanksgiving feast.  When I checked the glaze packet's progress at three minutes into the heating cycle, I was already too late.  To my shock and horror, as I peered through the glass, I saw the a disgusting brown goo effervescing (<—SOooo the perfect word because it WAS bubbling, hissing and foaming as gas escaped!) over the sides of the dish the packet was in.  Upon examination of the packet, we realized it was nearly empty and the bowl was encrusted with a brown sugar resin that wasn't coming off without a fight. 

The microwave fared much worse.

Microwave disaster

It took mere seconds–SECONDS, I TELL YA!–for this stuff to harden into an amber second skin that nothing–NOTHING–could remove…not an SOS pad (though clearly I was distressed), not a chisel, not a blowtorch, not a beltsander…m a y b e some C-4 explosive, but typically we don't have that on hand. 

After an initial inner "AGGGGHHHHHHH–NOW WHAT?!?!" I calmly regrouped and remembered I've made homemade glazes for ham before the "convenience" (ha!) of a pre-made packet (using a mixture of brown sugar, yellow mustard and orange juice for thinning to pouring consistency).

Given that I have one oven, had the turkey in at 7 a.m. so there'd be time to get everything else cooked (the ham, sweet potato and squash casseroles, macaroni & cheese, rolls), and there was tons of multi-tasking going on, I'm thankful that was the only disaster.

It made for a memory, no?

Plus…that microwave was left behind by the previous homeowners when we bought our house five years ago, its interior was tinted a permanent stain of dinge, and I've been wanting to replace it for years; because it still worked, I couldn't justify it.

Perhaps I owe Paula Deen and Smithfield Foods my gratitude.  Perhaps they owe me a microwave ;).


a)  Ummm…oopsie!  We just found the directions for heating the glaze and it seems "user error" might be involved; it was 4-5 minutes if heating in a pan on the stove, 45 seconds if microwaving {{blushing}}.

b)  Paula?  Smithfield?  mea culpa for pointing a finger…apparently at least three were pointing back at me :D.

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