"Hi were here love u!" [sic]
July 2, 11:51 p.m., the most-ever anticipated text message,
sent from my daughter
I hear her glowing….
This week my baby takes a giant leap…an almost 1,500-mile leap. Never has a sliver of my heart–part of my flesh–traveled so far from home without us.
She is my first-born child, only daughter, and cautiously becoming my friend.
That, by the way, has not been a short-term goal of mine in parenting. For years I've seen myself as parent-teacher; more recently, as coach and helper to all our children in navigating sometimes murky life-waters; "friendship" I had reserved (hoped for?) for post high school years…college…and beyond.
In many ways she is different from me, reserved and serious. I had to learn how to be her mother, to allow her the freedom to be who she was, not a child I controlled or manufactured. It is a delicate thing to know when to push or encourage or demand or retreat; when to listen or speak or cry or embrace.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The parenting tightrope is narrow; choosing the hills to die on are best reserved for moral battles and wars of the heart. Sometimes those are hard to distinguish, and of course, they look very different at three than they do at 16.
Sixteen…our nest will be her permanent residence for just two more years and then wings will take her to the next adventure. Does she realize a piece of her will always remain with us?
Last summer, she read about a Brio Magazine mission trip to Guatemala; coincident to that, participants were given opportunity to sponsor a child with Compassion International in the area…and should they decide to go on this trip, they could meet the child they sponsor!
For close to a year, all of my daughter's choices have somehow been related to this mission trip: she and a friend co-sponsor Evelyn, a five-five-old little girl; baby sitting money has been used to cover sponsorship or contribute to the trip's cost; she raised further support by writing close friends and relatives to inform then of her interest in going, and to solicit prayer and financial support; she has written everyone who has responded, and when she writes, you sense her appreciation for the gift (not an obligatory "thank you"); she writes Evelyn (her sponsored child) faithfully; she's kept me on task with immunizations and passport submission and form completion and supply gathering; she's dotted a thousand "I's" and crossed ten thousand "T's".
She has relished the thought of going and living the gospel for children who live in another world.
While they've been in Miami training since Monday, we've had daily phone access; her voice is beyond excited…
She is radiant…I can "hear" her glowing.
Which sounds absolutely nuts, but I see-hear this when she speaks.
Though she and one of her best friends signed up to do this together, they're rooming with other girls. "They're already like family," she enthuses. "I love 'em!" She's amazed that 600 strangers have come together and meshed so easily and seamlessly.
So am I, but thankfulness trumps amazement.
{to be continued…}
“I can ‘hear’ her glowing”~There are some things that only a mother’s heart can hear. Thanks, Robin for sharing the tender moment with us. To be so in tune with your child that you can communicate heart-to-heart is a blessing borne of Heaven.
I am looking forward to reading more of her adventure!
looks like you’ve done a great job as her mother. what a wonderfully unselfish heart. i sure wasn’t at a place like that at her age. she’s beautiful, but it seems she’s even more beautiful on the inside.
Sounds like you’ve done a super job parenting her;).
I’m feeling a bit like you in a small way. My son goes to camp for a week tomorrow. I can’t believe he’s old enough for that;0!
What a beautiful young woman. She looks (and sounds) so much like you.
Oh. my. gosh… she’s beautiful. An exquisite shot on the swing, Robin.
Sniff, sniff. The letting go, all the changes, they’ve begun in earnest. Sixteen was pivotal in my parenting journey with my daughter. You seem to have it all very calmly in hand.
Applauding…
Yes, she is gorgeous – but more importantly, I think she has her mother’s inner beauty!!!
Here I am freaking out about my 8 year old heading to cubscout camp (while I am in Hawaii) with his Uncle. His first time away overnight without parents (and did I mention I will be an ocean away?). yes, I am freaking out – I can’t imagine letting him go off to another country. You are a brave mom to let go.
She’s definitely amazing!
Thanks, Terri…I SOOOoo don't want to make her out to sound "perfect" or to act like I'm this "super mom"…but…I guess this is a time I'm trying to remember now for when I 'forget' later…:)
Gosh, I wasn't at this place AT ALL when I was her age! It's almost scary to remember "where" I was…. That, at least in part, makes me even MORE grateful for "who" she's becoming…. Thanks for your very kind words about her…and yeah, her insides are gorgeous :).
I dunno, eMom…there are a lot of conflicting emotions, all of which I guess you've known. I'm realizing how badly I hope to live within driving distance of my kids when they're older. Or can afford to fly…. Weird thoughts to have.
I HAVE GOT TO CATCH UP WITH YOU!!! YOU'RE GOING TO HAWAII!!!???? Yaaaaaeeeee for y'all!!! GEEZ, you're jumping in with both feet for the timing of Jammin going to camp! Maybe that's best. I remember when Rachel first went to camp and it's almost funny to me now, thinking about her being so far away in comparison. I think it was more difficult then…if that's any consolation to you…the first steps seem to be the hardest to take.
What a wonderful experience for her. Last summer my oldest went to Costa Rica and I felt those apron strings loosening a bit. It’s bittersweet, that’s for sure.
As an aside, is it not just the saddest thing that Brio isn’t being published anymore?? I’m totally bummed for my teenage daughters.
Hey Robin!! Keep us updated on Rachel! We would all love to keep up with her on her trip! Loved Tad’s hamburger pic…can’t believe he wanted you to take a picture of it! Hope you guys are enjoying a great summer!
Love to you all! ~Bebe
Such a beautiful girl — inside and out! You’ve done a great job with her, Mama Bear. Now it’s time to let her fly free, at least a little. It sounds like she’s just giddy. I can’t wait to hear her stories when she comes back — this will change her forever, just as India changed you.
It is so tough to parent one that is not like you. Andrew looks like me and shares my wicked/dark sense of humor, but the similarities end there. He will always take the road less traveled, challenge the established, demand proof rather than step out in faith. His path will be different but so amazing, and I am so proud watching it come together for him – knowing that I had absolutely very little to do with it.
how amazing! i wish her well, and you, too, while you wait!
i’ve wondered here from somewhere, but i’m blog-hopping tonight, so i’m not sure from where… maybe mylestones? happy to have found you!
ps: i live in tn, too! 🙂
Gorgeous is an under-statement because even the most “pretty” of girls have “ugly innards” … and it is obvious that she has the beginnings of all that matters.
Good for her for being so motivated to do this … and good for you … for starting her on the right path.
Looking forward to the “cont’d” portion of this blog post!
Our daughter and SIL (married one year ago!) now live on the east coast. As you know, we’re on the west coast. It’s been a killer.
Treasure every moment with your girl. And grow the other parts of your life–as I know you are. :~D
What a wonderfully sweet post. I feel like we have so much in common. My daughter (I call her my sweet girl) attended a Youth Convention “Acquire the Fire” five years ago and came back feeling called to explore the mission field. For the next year we tirelessly raised more that $5000, got her a passport and sent her to Romania via Texas, all alone for 2 weeks. She’s never been the same. The following year she raised the money and went to Germany/Poland. She came home telling me that she felt called to Africa. It took a minute but I knew that she heard from the Lord, until she told me it was for 30 days. There went the peace, I remember thinking, you want to go where for how long?
Well, my sweet girl just graduated high school and will be starting nursing school on the fall. She can’t wait to get back to Africa and help save the children.
I’m just so overwhelmed with joy and pride for my girl. Our relationship is changing, I’m having to let go more, but she’ll always be my sweet girl.