My baby is in surgery right now, and though they’ve given me
the update that “everything is going well and she’s doing fine,” my baby is in surgery right now.
I inhale fully and hold the breath.
It’s not because of illness or disease, it’s just routine oral
surgery; impacted wisdom teeth and bone grafts for future dental implants
(she’s missing three permanent teeth and requires additional bone to sustain
the titanium rods that will one day set off airport metal detectors).
But when you’re a mama and your 17-year-old first born is
scared because of the needles and pain and oozing blood and stitches, is there
anything “just routine” about it?
If I could, I’d do it for her. I’d like nothing more than to insulate all my children from
the pain life can bring—physical or emotional. But that wouldn’t serve them well at all, so I’m glad not to
be given the option.
While we waited for her procedure to begin—delayed close to
an hour because her surgeon was called away for hospital trauma consults—I
tried to occupy time and space with stories of my own childhood
experiences. When my wisdom teeth
were extracted, I remember a framed latch-work duck on the wall. It was late 70s ugly, tangerine and pea
green, and it should’ve been replaced years before my surgery. It was the last thing I saw before
nodding off to “sleep,” and I distinctly recall asking “How long will it
take…” because I was worried the anesthesia wasn’t going to work for me and
I’d be awake and aware during the entire procedure.
Of course, the next thing I remember was groggily waking up
in recovery.
Rachel asked the same thing, ready to get it started, but
mostly over. We’ve known for years
implants were in her future, and this is one step in a series to restoring her
smile. I wonder 30 years from now what she'll remember about today.
We were shocked to learn she was required to take a
pregnancy test—what the heck does that have to do with your mouth??? (But of course, it deals with
undergoing anesthesia.) Anyone who
knows my daughter understand why this was comic relief for both of us—Rachel has
never dated. The poor girl didn’t
even know what was involved with a pregnancy test—she thought she was going to
have to endure her first pelvic exam by a freakin’ oral surgeon!—so when she
learned it was a urine test, her relief was audible.
My prayers for her have been less about wisdom and skill for
the doctor, minimal pain and a speedy recovery, and more about her heart being
calmed. That surprised her, but I
know this child, the things she fears.
She understands her mind is her battlefield; I didn’t learn that until
my 30s.
Levity helped unrattle her nerves…we took pictures of her in
hospital gown with thermo strip across her forehead and texted them to her
friends; I freaked her out with my labor and delivery stories; I told her how
loopy her dad was when he had his wisdom teeth out a few years ago and that I’d
video her for our amusement.
Laughter temporarily anesthetizes the nerves.
Every time the surgical suite door opens, I’m compelled to
look up. Minutes are no longer 60
seconds, I’m sure they’re closer to 300.
This has taken twice as long as they told us it would, and while reports
keep coming back that “she’s fine…everything is okay…”
hands on my child again.
oh I know that feeling. I’m sure she will be fine-but however old they are they will always be our babies (hugs)
I know exactly what you mean! Anytime your baby (no matter how old they are) are in any kind of pain you completely just want to trade places with them…. and endure it for them. Hang in there (((HUGS))) I had to go through everything she’s going through right now. I have no permanent “I” teeth… making my smile pretty was PAINFUL, but I survived! Even the wisdom teeth removal.
Feeling for you. Understanding too. Been there. 😀
I definitely don’t look forward to these times with my boys. We’ve done plenty of ER visits but surgery would make my pits sweat.
*I woke up in the middle of my wisdom teeth extraction, telling the doctor he was doing it wrong!
I hope she has a quick and speedy recovery. Oh how I remember the pain of the wisdom teeth removal. Being a mom and the love and worry that goes with the experience is so difficult to put into words…you do a wonderful job at relaying the spectrum of emotions. Good luck!
Let us know! I love this post.
Ooh, I can so empathize. I remember full well sitting there with my wife as our daughter was wheeled in to the OR for supposedly minor surgery.
But you’re right: when it’s your kid, it’s never minor. And surgery is surgery. I remember telling my mom than no matter how routine the doctors said it would be, we still had to put her life in the hands of a team of strangers – incredible professionals, of course, but strangers all the same – and hope that she’d emerge from anaesthetic the same girl she was when she went in.
Thinking of you all and wishing a full, rapid recovery for her. And for you. Only good health…
Oh my, what a precious photo, :). It’s tough to go through this with your child, I remember the feeling when my son broke his leg at 12 and had to undergo some pretty intensive surgery – Oh how the mother’s heart aches!!!
Best wishes for a quick and full recovery!
Ohhh… look at her sad eyes. Praying! :~D
I can’t think of anything I’d rather do less than have oral surgery. Poor baby.
You can tell your 17 year old that there’s another beautiful 17 year old girl in Illinois who also hasn’t dated. She doesn’t even want to yet. I love those independently thinking girls!!
hope it went well. my wisdom teeth surgery was worse than childbirth. well, the aftermath. i got dry sockets.
When my oldest was 9, she had to have an emergency appendectomy. My husband went with her to the children’s hospital while I stayed behind to get our other kids off to friends’ houses. I had never been to this hospital before and got lost trying to find it. For AN HOUR! I was bawling in the car, yelling to myself that I needed to find my baby. By the time I got there and finally found the floor she was on, I was a wreck. I had the most straight-laced nurse tell me to pull myself together, I wasn’t the one who just had surgery. It was like a glass of cold water in my face! She was right, though – I needed to be presentable to my daughter (who was by then in her recovery room). Crazy the kind of anxious acrobatics our mind and heart perform when our babies need medical care!! Hope your daughter is on the mend soon. (by the way – tell her I am so inspired by her – I need to have all four of my impacted wisdom teeth pulled and am too chicken to take care of it!)
here’s what i feel absolutely comfortable saying…you’re a good mom. 🙂
And my lungs (and heart) won’t exhale until I can put my hands on my child again.
This brought tears to my eyes as it perfectly described the morning my daughter (at age 5 – she’s almost 13 now) had reconstructive surgery on a completely smashed finger. Thank you for putting that into words for me.
Your daughter sounds like a very sweet young lady and you definitely sound like an incredible mom! I’m glad you shared your experience with us and that we were able to pray with you and reach out our ‘achingMom’ hearts to you!
(She looks SO CUTE in the pic!!)
After the surgery – she will need her mama for sure!
I remember when mine were extracted too. I was 18 and it was October. I kept coming in and out of sleep and could hear the doctor and nurse discussing the upcoming Dukakis/Bush election.
When I pray for our daughter, I have to remind myself not to ask God to take away trials. I pray that she will lean on God for strength and that she will always have His peace in her heart, no matter the circumstances. And that’s difficult for me, the Nervous Nellie. God is in control. I have to repeat that to myself many, many times every day. God is in control.
But I do hope that Ladybug has my big mouth. I have TOO MUCH room which means plenty of room for wisdom teeth, which I still have. Hoping that she inherited that from me, and not my nervousness!