When I heard the Tennessee Valley's weather forecast today–sunny and upper 70s–my short-lived happy dance was quickly replaced with the only appropriate response from a middle-aged mom of three teens:
I ran through the house arms flailing overhead, a shrill strumming from my vocal chords shattering all manner of glass for six miles.
Think "grown-up female Macaulay Culkin in Home Alone", and let's just say that ain't purdy.
Bathing suit season is upon us.
Somewhere in your 40s something happens: your body betrays you.
My diet hasn't changed; I eat the same moderate to small portions I've enjoyed for years. But, good gravy, gravity is bearing down, fleshy body barnacles are erupting as saddlebags and pooches, and metabolism has completely left the building.
I'm walkin' a thin line right now and I'm not sure yet which side I'll choose: give in to aging with grace and acceptance or punch it in the face with a wrecking ball.
Decisions, decisions.
Last year I wrote a helpful post about swim suit shopping tips for moms; this year I'm wondering if, instead, I should start a retro swimwear movement. IF I:
- Started writing consistently again;
- Re-engaged my blogging community with responses to comments here and by lavishing comments elsewhere;
- Begged blogging buds with ginormous readerships–Jenny & Ree & Shannon & Sophie & Michelle, and heck, even my BFF Paula Deen–to jump on the bandwagon (do I dare suggest to The Queen of Butter to use less of it???);
- Encouraged (in)courage writers and readers to rally the cause;
- Arm-twisted the fashionistas at Blissfully Domestic & Mom Generations to write features and recommendations;
Convinced Victoria's Secrets they'd make a killin' if they'd create a line called "More is less" and "Real is Right" where a woman's "secrets" are actually well hidden. Jamie Lee Curtis would be the perfect spokeswoman and "I-LIKE-my-jiggly-parts" Niecy Nash (see the 1.08 minute mark) will inspire throngs (NOT to be confused with thongs) of mah-ture women everywhere.
I can sense this in my person….it's all coming together now. WE'REMADASHELLANDWEAREN'TGOINGTOTAKEITANYMORE!! MOTHERS UNITE!! A swimsuit revolution–are you in???
Or…
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do I just need to shut up, close my laptop, strap on a pair of Shape-ups/MBTs/Easy Tones and get my jiggly parts out the door…?
Your turn: how 'bout share your best-favorite tip for getting into shape for swimsuit season! I need all the help I can get. Bonus points to anyone who gets me in shape by Memorial Day. 😀
Best way to get in shape for the season? Lipstick and sparkly earrings. Forget the tshirts and the towels and the covering up – Act like ya look great and people forget to stare at the cellulite. And the no tan. And the poor shaving job …. yeah okay …. seriously EARRINGS and a SMILE.
Put me down for both–Modesty and shape-ups :~) but don’t hold your breath on VS caving #justsayin ;~)
I’m joining. I’m a part of the movement. Sign me up and please send me that nice little skirt and leggings number front and center in the picture you have above. I love Niecy too, but she’s got WAY more confidence in me. I think I’ll happily cover my “jiggly parts” thankyouverymuch.
I’ll be an ambassador for your program any old time lady!
XOXO Rachael
@PineappleBabble
Girlfriend – most mama’s bodies say more than “I wouldn’t have time to go to the gym even if you paid me” ~ rather they say, “I grew a human being here and sustained him for 9 months and years of nursing and shuttling and loving and rocking and forming later.”
Yup – that’s what my belly tells me.
And I tell it thank you. And offer a big old Pllbbrrrrr to my bathing suit in return 😉
I’ve re-embraced the gym post baby #2 because as we all know muscle burns more calories than fat and revs our metabolism and who doesn’t want that?!
A fellow member schooled me in a new-to-me technique. I believe it’s called a strip set. Start with the highest weight that you can effectively complete five reps and continue reducing the weight with each set – I do a total of four sets. I’ve really liked the quick results.
Also loving my protein shake for meal replacement M-F, breakfast and lunch. Dropped 27 pounds since January! I’ve put in the work and I’m actually not dreading swim suit season this year!
I am all up for the retro revolution! Let’s do it. 🙂
I had a baby last fall (more than five months ago, I have GOT to stop using it as an excuse) and I am dreading swimsuit season.
It’s not like I can get out of it. There is a LAKE involved, with boats and tubes and lounge chairs. I would look really weird – not to mention sweaty and oily – in snowsuit/tent that I would prefer to wear.
Sixty miles in three days, lady. Sixty miles in three days. If I can do it, anybody can. Guaranteed to shape you up in no time. And it’s even for a great cause! 🙂
Brilliant. YOU have given me ideas I've never before considered. Although, I do believe a smile-y countenance can divert attention and cover a multitude of "sins". 🙂
Maybe I should start my own company. Hmmm. Ideas, they are a' brewin' :).
LOL, at first I thought you referred to me as "old lady"!! Funny!
I tell ya, Niecy could make a mint if she bottled that confidence and sold it.
🙂 I think I just HEARD you blowin' raspberries! ha! Your comment reminds me how much I appreciate lines in a person's face; they tell a story of LIFE LIVED!
YOU GO, GIIIIIRRRRRLLLL! You should be PROUD! And….you taught me something I've never heard of before. 🙂
They really could make 'em cute. I **really** should pursue it, shouldn't I? 🙂
Is it okay if I laughed (out loud) when I read your comment? I'm totally picturing a hot, sexy snowsuit at the lake.
Emphasis on HOT!
😉
Did you do your breast cancer walk?? Am I remembering correctly? When? How'd you do money-raising-wise? I AM SO PROUD OF YOU!!!
Or am I confused, lol (link, if you have one that'll bring me up to speed 🙂 ).
xo
Wow. Jamie Lee Curtis and I are about the same size and shape. Only I have smaller boobs. Of all the parts to be smaller, right? I have not worn a swimsuit in several years. I ordered a tankini from Victoria’s Secret last year, but I won’t wear it yet–maybe not ever.
What works best for me to lose weight is to greatly reduce my carb intake and at the same time, drink lots of green tea! I also have my big meal at lunch and only a salad for dinner.
The little swim skirt. It is my friend.
I’d join your revolution! Vintage is adorable and, seriously, it would rock for it to be in before my little girls are teenagers!:)
http://www.modcloth.com has some super cute retro inspired suits.
I had given in for a few years after having a baby (10lb.7oz.baby) at 38. I lost most of the weight and then a couple of years later my body decided it LIKES being close to 9 month pregnancy weight. Sheesh. So now 9 years later my husband and I are running. Ha. I can call it running if I want to. It’s been three weeks and I’m still alive. Anyway, the new bathing suit move would suit me just fine. Because even if I do lose weight the 40’s jiggles are around to stay I fear…