Quite possibly the only best Facebook poem you'll ever read ~
Oh, Facebook, you enigma
I do not understand
How you hold me captive
I am putty in your hand.
Check in for just a minute
But then an hour has passed.
Mark Zuckerberg is brilliant!
His Black Hole sucks time so fast!
"What's on my mind," you question.
For some, "How do I feel?"
Important, caring questions,
(If only you were real.)
A soapbox and a megaphone
A place to rave and rant
"Go Daddy is disgusting!"
Moms' Super Bowl ad chant.
Don't know a thousand people
but two thousand friends are mine
How can that be possible?
Have we crossed a line?
Redefining friendship
To faces I can't place
When put like that, ridiculous!
Amazing/pointless race.
Oversharing way too much
It's cause for consternation
Don't wanna know your issues with
Cramps or constipation!
And yet you post those pictures
Of babies smeared in poo,
Or worse, when girls lose their minds–
Post selfies, clothes too few.
Like apocalyptic zombies
Under Facebook mind-control
Could it be world domination
Is Mark Zuckerberg's end goal?
Net worth at 14 billion
And he isn't even 30.
The Winklevoss twins would say
"That's cause he plays so dirty."
I can't imagine what comes next
Addictive net fixation
The thing that knocks Mark off his throne
The next big web sensation.
But for now Zuck owns the crown
He's earned the right to shout–
"I'm Kiiiiing of the Wooooorld!"
Is there any doubt?
With thanks to my nephew, Matt, for his brilliant photoshop…
…and to James Cameron, Leonardo DiCaprio and Danny Nucci for "letting" me borrow this image from Titantic…
…and crossing my fingers Mark Zuckerberg never sees this and decides to shut down my Facebook account before I decide to do it myself….
Enjoyed that immensely! You are one clever gal!!
Oh my…I laughed so hard at this!!! SOO funny!!
Tracey,
Can you tell I had fun writing it? I had the idea ages ago but wasn’t inspired until yesterday morning; then it almost wrote itself :). Thank you!!
Mary Elizabeth,
Really??? Cause THAT makes ME so HAPPY!! Thanks for telling me :).
OMG you are hilarious.
Robin, this is awesome! Creative! Hilarious! 🙂 Annnnd…. too true!
I ditched facebook (for good, I thought) 6 months ago and then 3 days ago… I got back on. Hello, FB, I’m back! Many of the things that you wrote about here were contributing factors to my departure.
If you’re interested to hear my little journey with it all… here’s why I left: http://www.momentsandinvitations.com/2012/08/why-i-left-facebook.html
And here’s why I’m back… for now, anyway: http://www.momentsandinvitations.com/2013/02/hello-facebook-im-back-6-months-later.html
PS – I’m posting a link to your poem… on facebook. 🙂 oh, the irony of it all. 🙂 Blessings on your day, Robin! (PS – now that I’m “back,” if I friend request you, you’ll be able to place my face, right?! 🙂 )
🙂 Well, then. My work here is done :).
Dana,
THANK YOU for all your nice words (and I love it that you're linking this on FB 😉 ). Actually, FB isn't a time suck for me (other things are…). I miss more than I see with regard to friends but I love when I catch something that "matters". It's also where I pick up a lot of good things to read. (Off to take a look at your posts…)
Thats hysterical!!
I limit my facebook friends to 100 and it’s only people I’ve met in real life. If someone abuses the priviledge of being my facebook friend, OFF WITH THEIR HEAD.. or hit the UNFRIEND button.
I use it as a medium to share pictures and updates on my family… only. Very rarely do I post on political agendas or the like. I have done so, but it’s rare. You just have to put limits on these things or it will take over. In the words of my favorite bible teacher, Beth Moore, “…excess leads to emptiness…”
Oh no.. I spelled privilege wrong.. I’m such a dork!
Oh my, Calypso…I haven't heard that quote but it's a good'un from Beth. And I've experienced it, so yeah…GREAT for how you use FB with such restraint.
Like
(hahahahahahahahahahahah)