We didn’t talk for two days after I wrote about him. Them. It wasn’t because he wouldn’t but because he couldn’t.
“I know it’s all true because I’ve lived it,” he quivers, “but it’s still hard to believe when you see it in writing.” My words are mirror to their lives, an undistorted reflection of what I’ve observed for over 30 years.
At 75, he and his bride still hold hands. At times I’ve seen them look at each other, grins telling secrets, eyes sizzling. Their son ignored it because – gross – but I thought it was…kind of amazing.
Marriage is a hard thing, and untended, it will cool.
I want heat.
Even the most blistering of fires will eventually dwindle to ash if not fed.
Give me flames.
When I wrote about my father-in-law, apparently I poked a bear. Not a mean, grumpy grizzly but more along the lines of Pooh–not exactly a willy, nilly, silly old bear, but sweet nevertheless. With all manner of deference, he suggested a different title (his, based on a poem he penned 25 years ago, is better) and that I might want to rethink my choice of words in one spot (because I “might present myself better”), so I did.
And then he reminded me of the secret to their 54-year marriage lest there was any doubt, to make certain I understood.
“People want to know how we’re still so in love, how we have such a good marriage,” he begins. And the next thing he says is the kind of thing pulls taut your attention…
“Having a good marriage doesn’t have anything to do with trying to have a good marriage…”
A simple truth that doesn’t begin to be easy.
Please, please click to continue reading A Secret to Marriage for Life at incourage!