There was no way to know 35 years ago where we’d be today. Certainly not literally, but not even in a figurative sense.
12,775 days, give or take. Plenty of ups, our share of downs, and all beautiful in their time.
I believe it–that everything is beautiful in time. Beauty from ashes might be the most lovely.
The Heart of Marriage releases today. It’s a collection of essays about marriage, curated by my long-time blogging friend, Dawn Camp. I’m thrilled to be included in this collaboration; it’s personal.
Originally Dawn and her editors were going to feature an essay I wrote on our 26th anniversary, an exploration of what love is, and isn’t, maybe best summarized in one of my favorite lines from the piece:
Love usually doesn’t happen in a moment, it happens in a life.
However, ultimately Dawn’s team choose another piece I offered to them, The Essence of Love. Or at least I think that’s the title they kept–I haven’t see the book yet, so I’m not 100% sure about the title.
I cried when I read it again. It’s a glimpse of my in-laws’ story, a love story as rare as it is extraordinary. In it, my father-in-law offered an unexpected and provocative caution–
“People want to know how we’re still so in love, how we have such a good marriage,” he began. And the next thing he said was the kind of thing pulls your attention taut, “Having a good marriage doesn’t have anything to do with trying to have a good marriage.”
I hope you’re curious enough to read the rest of it; do pick up a copy of the book to read it( and so many other love-tales). I’ve heard it’s on the shelves at Barnes and Noble just in time for Valentine’s Day (and maybe your favorite local bookstore), but you can get it on sale at Amazon (affiliate link provided).
OH–a bonus! In my piece for The Heart of Marriage, it begins by referencing something else I wrote; it’s best when read together. If you’re interested, please read The Essence of Love || When Love is a Pie.
It’s coming up on two years since I wrote it, and what was true then is even more true today: Things are different now, and business isn’t as usual.
But, still, beautiful in time….
Congratulations on being included in the book. Having a good, lasting marriage is work. It requires two people to put aside their wants/needs for the other. Kind of a give and take. It takes understanding, love & a bit of spontaneity. Tell your mate you love them daily. Give them kisses before leaving for work. Hug them often. That is what makes a good and lasting marriage!