Does it have to be all or nothin’?
Those, who, from the inside out understand "I’m not suffering from my insanity, I’m enjoying every minute of it" are best qualified to answer this
not rhetorical question.
Why all the crazy talk?
It couldn’t have come at a better time.
November is CHOCK FULL of reasons to write–the season, holiday traditions, my BIG announcement (that you’re hearing about for the first–but definitely not last–time ta-day) (no, I’m not joining Karmyn in her nine-month weight gain program (please God, NO! but congrats to her!), and we celebrate officially our 20th wedding anniversary… where, for your viewing pleasure, I will set free my wedding dress that has been entombed in a hermetically-sealed box for TWENTY LONG YEARS, haunting me with the legitimate question, "Why buy the most expensive dress you’ll ever wear, and wear it only once?".
Oh, y e a h, baby…I’m busting that seal and I’m squeezing in; of course I’m banking on
the fact the hope th e pipe dream the assumption that I CAN get into it because a) it was a little big when I wore it last time; b) I’ve gained about 1/2 a pound a year for the past two decades, and surely, it’s either i) evenly distributed throughout my whole body so it won’t factor much into me fitting into my wedding dress, or ii) the dress will be VERY forgiving since it’s poofy where I’m "poofy".
Hmmm, to whet your appetite just a bit, let’s look at the dress as it is RIGHT. NOW.
It’s been living in our closet behind Tad’s clothes for the four years we’ve lived in Tennessee…
Oh, dear….WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN?? Our house has NEVER flooded, for cryin’ out loud–WHAT’S WITH THE WATER MARK? Is it ONLY on the OUTER BOX?
Well, my sweet little Pensieve-nistas…you’ll just have to tune in tomorrow…..
** my apologies to those who know how to write a REAL nail-biting cliffhanger…this is the best I can do 😉 **
Hattip to Claudia for the crazy bunny clip :).
Oh my, what could have happened to the dress?!
I really did think that you were hinting at joining Karmyn. Whew.
you’re getting married again???? is that it?? and who can resist Happy Bunny!!
Oh come on – being pregnant as a “mature” woman isn’t all that bad. (Susan informed me that is what I’m called now – haha)
Okay – the watermark is scary. Maybe it’s not really a watermark, but just faded from the closet light. Yeah yeah – that’s it.
Can’t wait to see.
Hey, you had me on the edge of my seat through the whole post! I too am certifiably “almost crazy”, as I’m not only doing NaBloPoMo, but NaNoWriMo as well…uh…yeah…I did a post about it as well today…guess we’re all gearing up for a wild and zany November!
And the water mark on the dress box? Kind of scary…
Hey Robin, speaking of insanity, I’ve just been given a clean bill of mental health from the fine doctors at the Wal-Mart pharmacy* so I’m easing back into the blogworld once again. The last time I visited here, I got sucked into a vortex that was your “Nice, Thrice” post and couldn’t get out for weeks. But thanks to the wonders of modern science (pretty blue pills and shock therapy), I’m free to wreak havoc once again!
Want one more thing to blog about in November? I’ll be in Tennessee soon on my little writing retreat/road trip and you did mention on my blog that you’d treat me to something called a “home cooked dinnah”. I’m not sure what that is, or if it’s on the approved foods list from my psychiatrist, but if our schedules match up, that might actually be entertaining. For one of us anyway. Just be sure to warn the family not to mention the time I spent in “Nice, Thrice.” I don’t want to go back to the padded room.
*Most of this is a fabrication. Actually I’ve just been swamped with work. So please don’t call the men in white coats. I mean it…please don’t call them…but…well if you really feel you need to, I’ve got their number on speed-dial.
Oh, and happy anniversary!
Hmmm….let’s hope hermetic sealing covers water problems…it should, right?
I remember you posting about this sometime ago so am looking forward to seeing the radiant bride on her anniversary:)
we’ll all join hands and jump into the nablopomo abyss together….. one… two… what was i thinking???????
anxiously awaiting the unveiling of the dress…
almost looks like a dog has been lifting it’s leg ???
I do hope you are also keeping yourself waiting as long, and have not yet opened the box…
I can’t wait to see the photos.
Beckie, we’ll just have to see (really, I don’t know yet :/).
Claudia, actually I’m not a fan of “renewing our vows”, if that’s what you meant. If it’s not, then the answer to your question is “no” :).
Karmyn, I’d like to believe what you said, except for the fact it’s on the BOTTOM of the box, away from the light, not the top :(.
Stephen, Stephen, Stephen…where do I begin after a “comment” like THAT?! Let’s enumerate: 1) Glad to hear you’re off the funny farm. 2) I don’t think this is a good enough post to warrant almost 500 comments, but, then again, neither was that one! 3) Except your partner in crime, Ms. Min, has been “too busy” to read my blog lately (at least comment, but if she does one, she usually does the other). 4) Apparently, you aren’t versed in the “Southern Way”. This phenomenon is characterized by a born-and-bred Southerner sayin’ with all the sincerity known to mankind, “Y’all come visit, now!” then being utterly surprised when you do. 5) We don’t have no stinkin’ padded room…if we did, I surely would’ve posted pictures! 6) How do I know you aren’t really an axe murderer? 7) Friends in TN? What part(s)? Does Elvis have anything to do with it (Graceland is FAR from here, btw)? Or are you rubbin’ shoulders with a) Contemporary Christian artists in Franklin or b) Nouveau Country artists in Nashville? 8) It WOULD be cool actually to meet an award-winning* screenwriter/editor/aspiring novelist IRL… coffee? (if the TN Valley is on your route) (and in a VERY PUBLIC place, ’cause it’s harder to sneak in an axe) 9) Thanks for the anniversary greetings; you’re early, but since we already started celebrating LAST month, I guess that part really doesn’t matter. 10) You’re sure you’ve gotten a clean bill of mental health…right?
Chicago Jenny, I sure hope so :/. It’s the cardboard that’s given me reason to be concerned….
Chris, awwwww :).
Janet, I KNOW! Sink or swim, baby!!
Pamela, YIKES! If Aussie was a boy, I’d be a bit more worried (lol).
Jeanie, I haven’t, not exactly ;).
T.O.B., ME TOO! 😀
You’re brave. I opened my wedding gown a few years ago after watching Leeza Gibbons open hers on live television and finding out the dress wasn’t in there! Mine, however, was still safe in its little box. But I have never gotten brave enough to actually try it on.
My wedding gown was never sealed. 5 years later my best friend wore it because she’s too cheap to buy her own and promised to have it cleaned and “hermetically sealed”. She didn’t. The other day her daughter tried it on- she fit in it. I never, ever will again, unless 50 pounds melts away into thin air. My own disgusting scrawny 15.5 year old was TOO SMALL for my dress.
Great post, although now I’m depressed.
Coffee? Sure. And for the record, I have never harmed a single axe.
Jana, come on……..try it on!
Jenn, EAT SOME CHOCOLATE! 🙂
Stephen, hmmmm, not so chatty this time, eh…did I shut yo’ mouth? (I’ll email later to find out if you’re messing with me or on the up and up).
Can’t wait to see the radiant bride. Thankfully, due to the hurried/harried wedding we had, I don’t have to worry about such things as water stains on my wedding gown. (must move on, dirty thoughts entering brain.)