Somewhere along the journey between the imaginations of youth and the pragmatism of adulthood, I forgot that magic exists in a simple pair of shoes.
This is common knowledge among grade school children of course; they see so clearly what most of us become blinded to. Stories of ruby red slippers transporting the misguided home or a rags-to-riches tale of dainty feet encased in glass demonstrate the point: shoes have life-changing potential.
Children can’t wait to grow up, but what they can’t understand is being a grown-up doesn’t just give you freedom to do as you please–it brings with it obligation and responsibility that subtly and surreptitiously crowd out wonder and belief that anything can happen. Remember Tom Hanks in "Big"?–a delightful portrayal of this very thing.
Life has a way of clouding vision.
But, when you allow yourself–even when you’re fully grown–you can still see a glimmer of that sweet magic spun by a pair of shoes.
Two instances for me involved the magic of girlfriends.
As an at-home mom with three children waist-high and smaller, for a season I gave up any sense of fashion. Not that I was ever a slave to it–evidenced by the cheek-reddening fact I was The Last Person in America wearing opaque tights, corduroy Bermuda shorts, loud Christmas sweaters and big-collared blouses (blush/cringe) (which I had on when I met Mel Gibson, but that’s another story!)–but for years our clothes budget went to outfit the kids, necessary because they outgrew what they had every few months.
The realization hit my husband one day that I needed new clothes, particularly new shoes. It wasn’t simply that my shoes were dated, they were so pitifully worn out, I wouldn’t have even given them to Goodwill; had I "seen" them, I would’ve deposited them directly into the trash! I just couldn’t see them.
The "magic" came in the response of one of my best friends. When I told her what Tad said, she immediately and emphatically agreed, "Robin, you really DO NEED new shoes!". Bless her heart, she had seen this on my behalf months? years? earlier, but hadn’t found the words to encourage me for fear of offending. When given a door of opportunity, she barreled through.
It was at that moment I knew she was special…she cared enough to tell me the truth, not just tell me what I wanted to hear. Magic.
The other instance of shoe magic was just last year. Again, I had gone years without replacing shoes. Over and over, my husband tried to talk me into a new pair here or there, but I couldn’t justify the expense when there were perfectly good shoes in my closet. We still have to outfit three growing kids and now with two teens and a tween? It’s not cheap.
"Perfectly good" is hardly "perfect" though.
On Mother’s Day after a celebratory lunch and gift giving from my children, I asked Tad if he’d mind if I went to a movie and shoe shopping with a friend. His "Go!" came almost too quickly; he was obviously relieved I was going to replace some of my tired footwear.
Enter Stephanie, my young, hip, fashion-conscious friend who was all too happy to join me. Her philosophy is "If I don’t have the money to spend, it’s almost as fun to spend someone else’s." After delighting through "In the Land of Women", we headed to the shoe department.
For hours…yes, h o u r s, I tried on shoes, many of which I would have never considered apart from Steph’s squeals of approval. I strutted. I prissed. I wobbled on highHIGH heels, and throughout the ordeal, Stephanie cheered me on–"Those are sex-eeeey!" "Those don’t do a thing for ya…." "I like ’em okay, but the others are better." "Those are H O T! You’ve gotta get THEM!" She was like a kid in the candy store with money to burn.
Even though it wasn’t her own.
She tried on shoes, too, and from the time we arrived until closing, we laughed and talked, having one of the deepest conversations we’ve ever had…in the middle of the shoe department at Belks.
Coming home with five pairs of shoes? "Someone" had definitely woven a magic spell over my sense of discretion…and then over Tad’s, too, when he told me to keep all of them.
But you know what? I have been complimented on every one of those pairs of shoes at some point over the past year–e.v.e.r.y. o.n.e.! At middle age, I don’t always feel good about the changes in my appearance…so if a pair of shoes can garner some notice and in the process make me feel sassy or trendy or (gulp) for goodness sakes (giggles) HOT OR SEXY?
If that ain’t magic, I don’t know what is!
I’m so grateful to Michelle at Scribbit for prompting me to write this for her monthly "Write Away" contest–it’s a post I’ve been mulling over for a year and she gave me reason to buckle my seat to the chair and get it done!
Lovely post Robin, new shoes are the best and the pedicure you “need” to get to set them off is good too!
oMG!!
1. anyone that encourages you to buy shoes is ok in my book!! 🙂
2. I luuurrrve Stephanie even though I’ve never met her. I wholly subscribe to her approach on shoe shopping!
3. you have got a wonderful hubby that encourages you! (we used to hide our new stuff from my dad until finally we’d be able to say, but I’ve had these…)
oh, and one more thing…pictures?? 🙂
Love the play on words in your title – very clever…but the content is what grabbed me. As mothers, we just tend to put our needs on the back burner – so glad to see you have a husband that sees your tireless “feets” as a mother and encouraged you as he did. 🙂
Am I the only one screaming to know more about the Mel Gibson story? 🙂
Now that was a nice piece of writing! You certainly have a way with words. I have to admit that I have cut back tremendously on my shoe spending habits, due to the fact that I have a tendency to run around in bare feet most of the time! While I may find shoes fascinating and fun to buy, my feet prefer the freedom of no shoes, so I tend to leave them in the cupboard and admire them occasionally, then pass them on to someone new! Having said that I do wear shoes sometimes and even bought two new pairs last week.
About you started writing again! Seems lately there’s just been advertising.
Ahh, that should probably have said “about time”
Hee hee, sounds like it was definitely your turn for shoes. Hope everything is ok Robin. Hugs.
I adore this post.
But it just screams for pictures.
fun shoe post. Hope all is well at the doctors…
I miss shoes. I wore all those snazzy high heeled yada yada yada shoes when I was young. Worked 8 hours and walked in them..etc.
Then came pain — and more pain .. operations and now orthotics and old flat no more fun and snazzy shoes.
So my word to everyone is be careful. Take care of your lovely feet.
It’s amazing how bad things can get when you no longer “see” everything. Yeah for your sweetie for showing you the light (and for good friends willing to help you shop!)
Hope all is well!
What’s wrong with opaque tights? Hey, I waited and waited and waited for leg warmers to come back in. In fact, I kept my old ones (except the elasticity died). Imagine my delight when I found them for sale this past year!
Five pairs is a collection! I bought a sensible pair of sandals yesterday~ comfy rather than fashion for me these days!!
One of my favorite ‘collectibles’ are MEMORIES!!! Enjoyed your ‘feets of magic’ post (love that you came home with 5 pair & kept them all) this morning and hope your visit to the doctor went well … that you’re feeling better.
Hugs and blessings,
great post Robin…hope your trip to the doctor was OK…you must post about meeting Mel Gibson though!!!
Great post! I once wrote a post about how a pair of Boots helped me realize my priorities were out of whack. But, I can’t understand the shopping aspect of it. But, what do ya expect?
Hope all is well and maybe you got a new pair to add to your collection, Jimmy Chows?
This a very nice post. You do always look great in your pictures. I wish for you all the shoes that your closet will hold. (And I wish you health and happiness.) I am thinking about you…take care of yourself.
What a thought provoking post Robin. I still remember a pair of round toed navy Ninas, brown loafers with a beef-roll and on and on.
This post reminds me also of a little friend many years ago sitting out by the mail box by the road–stopping neighbors to admire HIS new tennis shoes! No more than 4 yrs. old.
I love the vision of you and your friend bonding in the shoe dept.!
Hey guys…I’ve hit the trifecta this week–my kids’ last days of school, my own health stuff, and wi-fi woes :/….
Not able to respond with any thought…I’ll try soon ’cause I’m loving (at the least) reading your comments 🙂 (maybe that’s the “most” after all!).