If ever there was a level playing field, it would have to be the land of the world wide web; anyone with a computer and internet access can create a blog in minutes, develop their online persona in weeks and cultivate a following in months. Value is attached to words written, ideas generated, and conversation stimulated. In opposition to real life, little or no regard is given to our "book's" cover–personal appearance which we're so quickly to judge when meeting someone for the first time (whether or not intended).
Some bloggers suggest while they're interweb extroverts, they're "real life" introverts; others (like me) are more consistent with the image they project in writing, wysiwyg, online and off (although I think I've surprised people who EXPECT ME TO SPEAK IN ALL CAPS AT ALL TIMES!!!). It's easy to forget there's a face behind every blog page, flesh and blood…and feelings.
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Tomorrow I leave for BlissDom '09, a blogging conference hosted by Blissfully Domestic in conjunction with One2One Network in Nashville, TN. There, I'll have the pleasure of meeting and spending time with 300 amazing women.
- Women of depth, inner-beauty and diverse life experience.
- Women who are writers, who love to tell stories, who make me laugh…and sometimes cry.
- Women who teach, challenge, inspire, sometimes provoke, and greatly encourage me.
- Persuasive and engaging women who are making a difference, who understand the power of their words.
- Women who are willing to learn, who generously give their time and expertise to help others, who share their personal gain and loss so others might know they aren't the "only one".
BlissDom's panel of speakers is phenomenal; it's no wonder the conference sold out weeks ago! These are accomplished bloggers, published writers, women who have achieved noteworthy success within (and sometimes without) their respective spheres.
They have reach. They have voice. They have influence.
And that, my friend, applies to you, too.
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It can be an intimidating thing, walking "cold" into this arena. Glimpsing my twitter stream and skimming my reader, I'm hearing doubts and insecurities creeping in–"What if no one recognizes or (gulp) talks to me?" "I love reading 'her' blog, but she doesn't even know I exist." "What if fall short of their expectations?" "What if ________ [fill in the blank with your own insecurities]."
Perhaps this is your first conference; maybe you've never met anyone with whom you share online community; or maybe you're just quiet and reserved and have the fear no one will talk to you. You're dreading that awkward moment of walking into the room and not knowing a soul. You might even be measuring your value based on readership or awards, or I dunno what else, but you feel you're out of your league.
I'm here to convince you, to grab you by the shoulders and shake you silly, to throw an icy cold glass of water in your face to wake you up…to make SURE you understand and believe…
..."they" get to meet YOU!
YOU are one of a kind! You have reach and voice and influence.
After attending BlissDom's inaugural event last October, I came away with a sense of the larger community; that blogging is its own league of encouragement. While it can be competitive, while all of us are trying to establish our own distinctive voice, I really believe we're playing on the same team. There's a sense of camaraderie among bloggers, and unless there's just a sharp personality conflict, don't you celebrate the successes of those you know are working toward a similar end goal to your own?
I do.
Don't think established bloggers (read: the speakers panel) don't have their own share of insecurities; they know the rest of us have an expectation of them, and they feel the consequent pressure to deliver. I've heard from people on both sides, and really, it's little more than different stanzas of the same tune.
So…whether you're going to BlissDom this weekend, Mom 2.0 Summit in a few weeks or BlogHer in a few months, make the most of your time–
- Be bold–step outside your comfort zone and initiate conversation.
- Seek out those in the margins, invite them to join you (at BD '08, I was impressed to see this happen time and time again; it wasn't just a few people reaching out a hand of inclusion, it was everywhere I turned!).
- Sit with someone different at every session or meal; you'll hate starting over again and again, but a) it gets easier with practice, and b) you will have met a whole lot more people by the end of the weekend.
- Play to your strengths. Don't try to be someone you're not, be consistent with "who" you are at home.
- FORGET ABOUT THE STUPID CLOTHES! Geezaree, if there's one thing I could change, it would be that we all wear jeans and a white tee! Please don't worry about whether or not you have the "right" thing to wear! Do you really care what anyone else is wearing? Of course, you might like the outfit, but is an outfit the sole determiner of whether or not you read someone's blog? Or want to befriend them? If so, well…bless your heart…I don't have anything else you'd wanna hear, but for the rest of you? Fuhgetaboutit!
- You won't be able to meet everyone, so pace yourself. Be realisitic. Realize you won't click with everyone you do meet, so be glad for the introduction and move on. It's not personal, it's real life!
Most of all, have fun! BlissDom is a fabulous conference, in part, because it's a fairly intimate gathering. You're going to meet new people who will challenge and inspire you and who will give you vision for the blog you'd like to create.
Tell me what I'm leaving out or if you've read other posts that speak to conference going–I'd love to compile a list as a resource for others who would benefit from the counsel of friends. One of my favorites is Megan's post prior to BlogHer last year; it paints a clear picture of understanding "who" you are and realizing The Who You Are is pretty doggone awesome.
Carpe diem, girlieQs…I can hardly wait to meet YOU–walk up to me, extend your hand (or better yet, hug my neck), tell me you've never heard of my blog you read me daily, and then plunk a caramel macchiato breve a plate of fried okra a pack of Peanut M&Ms down in front of me. I shall follow you til the ends of the earth :).
xo
Awesome! You wrote my jumbled thoughts. 😉
Oh Robin, YOU are one of a kind. I won’t ever forget meeting you for the first time. Don’t take this the wrong way but you remind me of a friend of mine and she says that she is a “firecracker”. I think you’re in the same category, but you also have a way of making people feel at ease.
I think you definitely covered all the bases and though I’m not nervous at the moment, my nerves will come, though I should be used to this.
Can’t wait to see you…SOON!
I am SO excited about Blissdom09.
Like you, I wish people wouldn’t worry so much about clothes, etc. I’m not saying I’ve not had a bit of anxiety about clothes, but… I’m not buying a single thing for the conference. If I had some funds, yes, I might buy a new pair of jeans or another top. (I need both.)
And I wish I had a laptop bag. But I don’t, and I can’t afford one, so I’ll borrow my husband’s. 🙂
Have I mentioned how EXCITED I am?
Cannot wait … did I mention I CANNOT WAIT!
can’t wait to meet you! but have to admit I’m over the top intimidated by the great bloggers and media people there…will you hold my hand..?
I KID!! Blissdom here we come!!!
Nicely said. I’m not sure I feel less intimidated, but I’ll try!
AMen, Sistah! I have no anxiety and all excitement for this event! Cant wait to hug your neck again!! See you in TWO DAYS!
I am nervous but totally excited, I can’t wait! I might just happen to have an extra pack of peanut m&m’s with me 😉
Exceptional post!
I was just telling my mom today…this is going to be a different kind of conference than any I’ve gone to before. Yes, we’re going to network and learn. But it will also be a reunion of sorts.
I hope there will be more excitement than intimidation! That’s what I’m looking forward to!
And peanut M&Ms just sealed the deal—we’re going to be bffs!
a
If you go and search for posts from last Blissdom, you will notice that not ONE of them says anything about cliques, or feeling left out or shunned or anything. Everyone had a great time. I don’t know why the addition of 200 people would change that vibe. Everyone will have a great time and learn lots of stuff. And get one of my magnets. I’m saturating the market!
Okay, after reading this post I think I can ACTUALLY get on the plane. Thank you, girl! Can’t wait to meet you!
My post today is about this, too, kinda.
I will be excited to meet you. I’ve already made such a good first impression by scaring you by telling you I had a dream with you in it via Twitter. Yeah, classy. Won’t blame you if you run the other way when you see my nametag.
Jessie
This is exactly what people need to hear. What a great post! Can’t wait to give you a hug in a couple of days.
And for those of you are wondering, NO, I’ve never met Robin. But I’m going to hug her anyway. And I want to hug you, too, whoever you are! I’m going to be one of those who doesn’t know anyone . . . yet!
have fun! I can’t wait to see all the pictures and here about it…sounds like a blast!
-sandy toe
Interesting comments.
This is some of what I was thinking about this morning. I’m fairly good at meeting people for the first time, but I’m pretty nervous beforehand. But I find myself a lot less nervous than I’d be about some other gathering of 300 strangers. Because I know I’m gonna see some friendly faces. Or at least some friendly nametags. (if I don’t know the face yet! 😉
Blogging does seem to cross all the clique lines we remember with dread from high school. We KNOW we have something in common, which serves as an introduction before the fact. Thanks Robin, for putting it so well in this post! AND YOU MEAN YOU DON’T ALWAYS SPEAK IN ALL CAPS??!! Me neither. 😉
Great post….so looking forward to it. I’m supposed to be leaving in an hour with the Nester and Emily and here you got me sucked in….bad girl….great writing. 🙂
Sure wish I could be there with you all. I’ll be checking back often for updates, Robin. HAVE FUN!!!
Well said! I think those fears are somewhat universal. Can something be “somewhat universal”? Regardless, stepping out from behind the ‘puter screen is a little scary no matter how real your online persona. Sometimes I actually think I’m more real online than I am in person. Does that sound crazy?
Seriously? I can hug you? I’m bringing chocolate!
Can’t wait to meet you.
Kimba
Enjoy yourself, Robin! You’re awesome!
Have a great time at the conference!
Thank goodness most of us grow out of cliques as we get older. Otherwise, I think I’d stay in my house all day and night and never leave. Thankfully, people grow up.
Embrace the friendship and support!
great pump-up post. getting excited to meet all the lovely ladies!
SOMEDAY!!
tell everyone I said Hi
m
What a great pep talk! You’ve almost convinced me that I should have signed up. Almost. Maybe next time! 🙂
Instead, while you all are schmoozing & meeting & learning more, I’ll be at the park with my Girlie, enjoying the beautiful weather that we’re expecting. I won’t have too many more beautiful Saturdays with just one kiddo to watch, so I’m going to make sure we enjoy it!
Praying right now for your time at BlissDom 09. I’m sure you’ll do great and it’ll be a terrific time!
Well written! I have been praying for you. Can’t wait to hear all about it! Have fun.
I am very excited for BlissDom this weekend. I can’t wait to reconnect with a few wonderful women I have met before and meet so many that I haven’t had the pleasure to yet.
Oh how I wish I was going! Especially after an inspirational post like that! I can’t wait to hear about it when you get back. Have a wonderful time!
You hit the nail on the head about these conferences.
I’ll be holding down the fort on this one but hope to be back at BlogHer this summer!
Have a great time!
Sweetie, you were one of the ones who extended a hand of friendship to me. And you were right, it was not an intimidating crowd, just the opposite. Thanks for putting these thoughts out there. Look forward to seeing you and I’m aiming to shoot you an email in the meantime, too.
Thank you so much for this post…I’m a first time visitor (I think) sent here by Kimba. I was feeling nervous about Blissdom, but I’m feeling so much bloggy love now I’ll be relaxed by Friday (I hope). Thank you thank you thank you!!
What a sweetheart you are to put us all at ease. I can’t wait to meet you!
I will not be jealous that others get to meet you while I’m stuck here in the Midwest. God just has other plans for me… I’ll just have to be content watching you have fun, making friends and loving others just as they are!
You’ve made me actually glad I’m going tomorrow. Up until now, I’ve had my doubts for all of the same reasons you posted. Thanks for remembering what it is like to be the new kid on the block and reaching out to encourage others.
Hi Robin! We are sitting across from you 🙂
BLISSDOM!!!!
Sandy & Melissa
I can’t WAIT to see you tomorrow!!! I’ll be a little late (thank you, part time job), but I’ll be there. 🙂
I know I’m the wrong gender, yet I found myself relating to every word you wrote. It ultimately relates back to our confidence in our own voice, our belief that we are truly unique beings whose perspectives have an appeal that extends beyond our immediate circle.
Professionally, I bust through that sheen of self doubt every time I get interviewed or do some neat new media thing. The reason I’m there is because someone decided my voice deserved to be heard above all others. And now people tune in just to see and hear me. How crazy is that?
Which reminds me: I’m doing my Tech Talk segment on our burg’s morning television program tomorrow. Gotta get my beauty sleep.
I hope you had a safe trip to the conference, and I can’t wait to read about how you rocked their world. I’ll watch for you in IM. Enjoy…