Following the heart-breaking death of their 17-year-old son in a car accident a week ago, Jamie and Scott are responding with grace, dignity, humility, strength and life-giving faith. Their daughter, Emily, is, too.
If this had happened to me, it is how I'd hope we'd respond as well.
Eight grade commencement was Wednesday; Emily and her parents attended. When we all went to lunch afterwards and then to a local park to hang out, they joined us. There's a flurry of year end sporting events, and in most instances, they're showing up to support the kids.
In the face of grief, they're continuing to live.
Again, if our family was reeling from the shock of losing one of our babies, it's how I'd hope we'd respond.
They aren't in denial; that's impossible. They're acutely aware of the pain of a shattered heart. Mysteriously strengthened by the prayers of an army, clinging to the hope in God they've always professed, they're honoring Ryan's life.
This was a kid who lived out loud :).
Our school is small, and in addition to Ryan being a student, Jamie is a teacher. Through oceans of tears, our community has spoken love with tangible sympathies of food, flowers, cards and memorials. In return, this precious family bears testimony to indescribable grace, praising God in the midst of their storm.
Understandably, many students continue to struggle. "Life is short" is no longer cliché. They question God; they question His goodness. Some are angry. Others have examined their own lives and received salvation offered through Christ's gospel–recognizing and confessing their sin; understanding their need for a savior, found in the person of Jesus; experiencing freedom from guilt and condemnation through forgiveness; believing that God loves them, has a plan for them, knows what's best for them.
Maybe they see for the first time that God intimately understands their grief…because He endured the death of His own son, too.
From a human perspective, this doesn't make sense. It's wrong. I'm still having a hard time accepting it really happened. But when I consider in the economy of God that He sees from the end to the beginning (and beginning to end)…that He lives beyond the scope of conventional time…
When I consider His words penned in Isaiah 55: 8, 9 ~
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,"
declares the LORD.
"As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts."
…I'm able to believe this tragedy can be used–is being used–for our collective good, for God's glory, and for the advance of the gospel.
Let it be.
My heart just goes out to all of you in this. Five years ago, we went through a similar situation. A very good friend and co-worker of my husband died in a single car accident on his way back to Colorado from South Dakota.
I was awakened by the 6:00 a.m. Monday phone call. I could find only an orange highlighter to take down the information (in an almost entirely dark kitchen) that a pastor’s wife was sharing with me. I couldn’t even process it. It just couldn’t be. Kevin’s life was just coming together.
Ten years older than Ryan, he had really gotten back on track in his relationship with the Lord after years of wandering away. He was getting married in a month. And I had to go share the news with my husband who was taking a shower. Who had to share the news when he went to work, because he was the only one for whom his parents in SD had a phone number.
I’ve become incredibly close to his mom since then. In fact, I’m not sure we’d have the friendship we do if it weren’t for this tragedy. Friends were drawn back to the Lord. God did use this for His purposes. His mom leads a Grief Share group at their church. God puts her in the paths of people who’ve suffered loss all the time. And He ministers to those people through her. But it doesn’t mean it’s not hard. It is. It always will be.
He was the oldest of three boys. Suddenly the middle son finds himself the head brother, as it were. When he marries a few years later, it’s a beautiful wedding, but of course, there’s an underlying current of sadness, knowing that Kevin and his family are missing from this celebration. This should’ve been the second wedding.
A really odd thought that I’ve had is how he went from sheer terror as his car rolled and slammed into a huge steel I-bar to sheer JOY as he was welcomed into the arms of Jesus Christ. Instantaneous.
Sorry for writing a book here, Robin! I’m praying for everyone involved. <3
Friend – you have such an eloquent way of speaking through the pain and sharing the story of people who clearly need love and prayers right now.
I can’t imagine their pain. I honestly don’t want to, but like you, I hope I would be capable of handling this level of tradegy with grace.
They are LUCKY to have you as a friend. Lucky.
Sending prayers. Glad you found your mojo.
My prayers are with all y’all.