As a {ahem} 40-something mom of three, I loathe the 5th season of the year: Bathing Suit. In case you weren't aware, it falls smack dab between Spring and Summer and is often overlooked as an official season simply because women over the age of 30 have repressed their recollection of it. Completely understandable because right about the same time "things" start happening to your body and subjecting ourselves to public humiliation putting it on display in front of God and everybody is not high on our list of priorities.
In the interest of full disclosure, here's something that makes it even more difficult for me now: when I turned 41 I was in the best shape of my adult life and–PLEASE don't judge or hate me–started wearing bikinis again. It came at a huge cost, however. We had moved to another state where I knew NO ONE, I had no friends, no life, no job, had not yet discovered blogging, so I started exercising and stopped eating during the day. Normal meals with my family in the evenings and on weekends, but because I couldn't control so many other things, I delighted in the control of my body.
Fast forward five years and everything is reversed–I have a full, busy life with plenty of distractions, but somehow, magically, exercising went by the wayside. Eating did not. It's absolutely frightening and bewildering to me how ALL my clothes shrank over the past year, too.
Perhaps that is why several weeks ago, with expression a mask of weighty concern, my daughter stumbled over her words and asked, "Ummm, Mom…are you planning…to wear…a two-piece this year?"
Her worrisome look coupled with holding her breath for my response confirmed what I knew a year ago: my bikini ship had sunk sailed.
So, armed with a positive attitude and my daughter, the "mirror-that-never-lies", we set out for a day of tankini and one-piece shopping. Keep the following in mind and you're sure to have a successful shopping experience.
- You've gotta play the numbers game! I'm sure I tried on close to 100 suits, taking into account different sizes for the same style. Eventually you'll begin to see those styles that most flatter your figure, accentuate your best features and minimize your worst, and believe me: all bathing suits are NOT created equal! You can look perfectly wretched in one and rival Miss America in the next. Seriously–there's that much disparity among suits, so DON'T GIVE UP!! Take away point: You'll do well to consider that swim suit shopping is a marathon not a sprint.
- Close your eyes to size. Start with a size three times your pants size and work down if necessary. This will give your ego a boost IF you happen to find a suit equal to your pants size, but if not, let this be the one time you give no regard to that tiny little tag with a number on it. It's liberating. Take away: Swimsuit sizes don't mean a thing.
- Don't be a snob! My favorite places to shop are Ann Taylor and J. Jill–they're small boutiques and I don't get lost in 'em like department stores; it's amazing what you can get 50% off or more if you're patient. However, when it comes to bathing suits? Try EVERYWHERE! {See #1 above.} This year, we started at Target (where their primary demographic is "teen") and I actually found a darling, conservative tankini top (I already had black bottoms) and it was only $17.99 not even on sale. Typically I have luck at Kohl's, but this year our store had a very narrow selection. In spite of that, I sucked up my pride and sucked in my stomach with one of their Trimshaper Suits. Two bonuses? It was on sale for 1/2 price and it delivered what it promised–it slimmed me down and boosted my esteem.
The biggest surprise, though, was Sears! I went there in search of Lands End suits (highly recommended by friends); yes, I found those, but oh! my! So much more! I tried on suits for 2 1/2 hours and liked many! DO YOU HEAR ME? I HATE BATHING SUIT SHOPPING BUT I FOUND MANY–MANY, I REPEAT–I REALLY LIKED AT SEARS!! The only problem was they didn't have my size in my favorites, but my second choices were pretty cute, too. Take away: Be willing to shop outside your normal venues and you might just find a gold mine when you least expect it. - Need a little more privacy? Consider online. Most all retailers in your hometown have an online presence with more styles and sizes available than possible in-store, but consider sites dedicated strictly for bathing suits. You're more inclined to find great prices, varied selection and styles, and realistic, attractive suits. Seriously, does the majority of buying America look like a Victoria's Secret model? Me thinks not!
- When in doubt, over-buy with the intent of returning. If you don't have "rules" in your family that would prohibit this, I find it helpful to get the suits home, re-evaluate them on my own turf, and take advantage of my husband's critical eye. As long as you leave tags attached and don't lose your receipt, most stores honor suit returns these days. Take away: It's STILL a numbers game!
- You get by with a little help from your friends. No matter how much it hurts, take someone with you. I had fun with my daughter and we laughed…a lot. Whether it's a friend or relative, transform this chore into a delight with the company of another. A true-blue will be honest and help you to see yourself in better light, and maybe prevent you from spiraling into dispair when you discover cellulite in places you didn't know it could grow. Take away: Misery loves company–no one over the age of 30 enjoys bathing suit shopping! {unless you're a super model or a sadist}
What other advice can you offer for reluctant bathing suit shoppers? Comment your most helpful hints and I'll add them with a link back to you!
You’ve inspired me to take a look at Sears. I really, really hate shopping for bathing suits, too. UGH!
Actually, my suggestion is not for bathing suit shoppers, it’s for the stores that SELL bathing suits.
Here are two words that would make this particular shopping experience much more of a blessing for everyone involved:
OPEN BAR.
I had a friend that found an absolutely FABULOUS suit at K-Mart! Yes, K-MART!
I still have my suit from last year-it’s still in decent shape. And definitely NOT a bikini!
This was great! I just broke the news to my family this week…NO swimsuits for me this year. Not unless I get a stomach flu that lasts for a month and I drop 20 pounds. It’s that bad.
-FringeGirl
I’ve had my eye on the same Victoria’s Secret Miracle Bra tankini for several years. I’ve been a click away from ordering it twice, but I chickened out because I’m just not sure how it will fit. I wish they had the suits in the stores to try on. Maybe I’ll gather the courage to make the rounds to other stores in search of one this year. Or maybe I’ll just not swim.
You are HILARIOUS.
I was just looking at the Lands End catalog and wanting to buy a suit, but wondering how many times I would have to ship back and forth before getting the right fit. Thank you for reminding me of the SEARS / Lands End option. Great idea!
🙂
O.K., this is just so sad, but I still have a couple of Land’s End suits from about 5 years ago. I don’t think I’ve bought a new one since. I think you post may be God’s way of telling me it’s time to get out there again. But, oh, how I dread that.
I gotta say, though, that Land’s End is truly the best place for us 40-something women to find a good suit. The bottoms seem to be made just for us. (Hmmm. They must have female designers there.)
Thank you, thank you, thank you for this post. We have a family beach trip in July (when I say family, I mean it includes my 3 brothers and their families who I have not seen since Thanksgiving when I was 30 lbs. heavier than I am now). I need to buy a new suit, but just have this horrible fear of trying to find something that I would be willing to be seen in public wearing. Now I am just trying to decide who to ask to help me shop — my 18 year-old 115 lb. daughter, or my 50+ year-old size 12 friend?
I love, love, love Lands End bathing suits. They are sturdy and last forever. I havent seen those at Sears though. They are pricey! I have to say too, that my fav is a tankini..my daughter asked me why I liked those so much, Its because I can EASILY go to the bathroom..w/out fumbling w/ a wet one piece. I do wear bikinis..but only at home. Lord, I wouldn’t put anyone through the terror..lol. You don’t look your age..beautiful!
I haven’t bought a swim suit in several years. I keep thinking I’m going to lose weight one of these years, but it’s yet to happen. This year, though, I’m forced to buy one anyway – because we’re going on vacation to Florida. I really wanted to buy one at Land’s End; they have great selection for all types of bodies. But it’s a bit out of my budget, so I got a tankini top and board shorts from Target.
Thanks for giving us some tips, Robin. I’m going to pretend like I didn’t hear that thing about you wearing a bikini. 🙂
Let me know what you find, Dawn. I was shocked when I saw the
selection–much better than anywhere else & EVERYTHING was on sale!
LOLOLOL–is it any wonder I have a new crush on you every time you open your
mouth? Oh, my…let’s go shopping together. The only problem will be we’ll
over shop…I have a feeling EVERYTHING will look wonderful………;)
Kmart, here, gets on my last nerve (I don’t think it’s a very “good” store).
But remember, Kmart is Sears, isn’t it??? Am I confused?? The bottom line
is this, though……DON’T BE A BATHING SUIT SNOB–You might find the most
darling suit in the most unlikely of places!
Ummm, my first foray into tankini’s was last year; both make me look
pregnant ’cause they’re the “loose” kind. Cute, just FAT. I still
occasionally wore my bikini last year…hence, Rachel’s question, lol. It
was valid! This year? Ummm, yeah…no thank you. (We’re at the beach
right now, I’m not writing about it yet; since I’m on Twitter and so many
people follow me I don’t know…I don’t wanna write about it yet; but goin’
to the beach every day, I *need* (want) more than one suit.) (shhh, that’s
a secret 😉 ) (I can’t wait to post the pics of the monster alligator we saw
last night!!)
Two words: Trimshaper suit
(I was surprised how slimming it is…it definitely makes a difference 🙂 )
Swim? SWIM? Who said anything about swimming?? The name “swim suit” is a
total misnomer as far as I’m concerned. I guess “Laying-out-in-the-sun
Suit” is too long, though. One year I ordered a BUNCH of VS’s suits; they
offered free shipping on an order over $100, so I ordered everything I
liked; I ended up keeping one, returned the rest, and only paid for shipping
one way. If you really like it, you might try that (or google “free
shipping Victoria’s Secrets”; you might find a promo code that way!).
Otherwise, I’m serious, at least look at places you normally don’t; I bet
you’d find some surprises :).
🙂 Oooooooo! I LOVE it when people totally get my humor!!!
Remember, too, you can make LE returns to Sears and save on shipping that
way; if you get a promo code, I bet you can get free shipping from them,
too! I’m tellin’ ya, though, the LE suits they had at Sears didn’t fit me
well 🙁 (but they were VERY well constructed and cute…just not many of
them), but there were so many other brands, it ended up not mattering.
I agree; LE suits make sense for “us” ;). They ARE better made, I could
tell that from trying them on (thicker fabric…). The styles our Sears had
didn’t suit, but when I looked online? There were dozens I LOVED!! (BTW,
guess where I am right now!! Not blogging about it yet, but we’ve seen the
BIGGEST FREAKIN’ GATORS EVAH and are headed to The Crescent later today or
tomorrow. I was talkin’ about you just yesterday and how YOU taught me
where that was :). I’m forever indebted!!).
Hmmm…I wish I knew your daughter’s personality; mine was a perfect
companion, even if we didn’t always agree. I’d take one of them with you,
then ask the other’s opinion, lol. GOOD for YOU, though, losing 30 lbs???
My word! That is cause for celebratin’ woman!! 🙂
When I went shopping, EVERYTHING was on sale at least 30% off, even the LE
suits; you’ve confirmed what I believe, though. They are well made. And I
had to laugh–I probably will still wear my 2-piece when no one’s around; I
have this thing about my stomach being tan…and honestly, tankini’s are
good for that, too. I just hike mine up!!! (& thanks for your kind words!)
I smiled at your last line…funny girl, you are (smack!). Some of those
board shorts make me look very heifer-ish…but I found a few that I liked
at Sears. Again, when I shopped, even the LE suits were at least 30% off at
Sears, and they ARE more expensive for a reason (if you follow the comments
here, you’ll see people confirm how well made they are). My favorite
purchase has been my Target tankini top; it was the least expensive and I
get the most sun in it (I DO wear SPF 15-30, but I still like a bronze glow
😉 ).
I am so cheap–I ALWAYS buy the least expensive thing that will work. But NOT swimsuits. I buy Lands’ End, and never anything else, because they’re completely worth it.
Good god, no. I have to shop for a suit? Are you kidding me? I think I am going to be one of those that wears their clothes as a suit. Yeah…..that is what I am going to do.
The last bathing suit I bought…dare I confess…was a tankini with shorts! Yes, bathing suit shorts. Those awful looking, full coverage things! They worked great at the water park all summer, but now I have my own pool in the backyard and it’s got me thinking about buying a suit. But I have yet to find a suit that flatters my…er…land’s end and the surrounding terrain. Any advice for “hippy” gals?
Well since I just had my first child four (almost five) weeks ago I haven’t even thought about bathing suit shopping. However, I have to say that being pregnant was good to me and I am slimmer now then I was before I got pregnant…I think that had to do with the morning sickness for the first three months. A cracker and water diet can really do wonders.
Even though I am not in the over 30 club…I am not far away. I haven’t stepped into a bikini since my early twenties…man those were great days.
However, I would have to say my bathing suit advice is to not only find one that you like and that likes you but find a cute skirt. I know that laying out I can feel completely comfortable on a lawn chair but once I get up …insecurity arises. So buy a cute cover-up and it may make all the difference.
Recognize that certain parts of your body that perhaps didn’t need much support when you were 25 DO need support now! I love Land’s End suits for that reason, too. Most of them have built-in bras and even the halter tops come with a little extra boost.
I can’t wait to see the pics of the gator!! I hope you’re having fun!
So glad my last year’s Lands End suit is still OK…
Mary
I have a new bathing suit hanging in my closet right now that needs to be returned to Old Navy because the Girls hang out of it. Not that I am THAT big, its just that the bathing suit is cut so stinkin’ low the girls have two options sag. or sag some more.
Its very frustrating. The suit fits everywhere else, but I can’t stand the thought of 1/2 of my girls showing themselves.
Maddening.
Sears, here I come!
I keep hearing everyone say Land’s End, so I’m going to have to give it a try. I just have to find a suit to last 10 years so I don’t have to go shopping again–hate it!
Found you through WFMW–thanks for sharing!