Realizing I was out of coffee tonight angrily demanded I make a grocery run when it was the last thing in the world I wanted to do. Well, a much uglier fate would have been not discovering our dilemma until morning–hell hath no fury like a woman scorned uncaffeinated–so I suppose I should be thankful.
Thinking some company might improve my sour disposition, I opened the door to our playroom and yelled upstairs to my youngest, to see if he wanted to go to the Publix with me. From our downstairs bathroom four feet from where I stood (door closed), loud and proud he yelled back, "I'll go with ya in a minute if you can wait…I'M TAKING AN EPIC POOP!"
My first thought was "ONLY a boy would refer to a bowel movement as EPIC," thinking about the grandeur and dramatic impact of, say, "Gone With the Wind" or "Gladiator", but then I thought about the definition: "extending beyond the usual or ordinary especially in size or scope".
As I bolted for my car—alone–I decided I didn't wanna stick around to see how this movie ended.