Chronicled fours years ago as my siblings and I watched my father's slow-motion, heart-breaking end-of-life, this poem stands as one of the most important pieces I've ever penned. As my heart bleeds words in witness of painful circumstance, I never let go of hope.
Be encouraged. For those struggling with parent-child role reversal and the indignity, difficulty and grief it brings…you can trust in the hope Christ offers.
Bookend
Flesh and bone
Heart still beating
Only motion
Breathing, eating.
Prison cruel
A living dead
Mocking laughter
Fill my head.
Revolving faces
Known or not.
Doesn’t matter:
Cold or hot.
Day or week or month or year
Time suspended.
Left, much fear.
Coherent thought
Now eluding.
Takes its place
Thought deluding
Monsters lurk at every door.
Mind held captive, wanting more.
Always looping, endless reel
Flashbacks true? Are they real?
Footing, sure or steady—Either!
Mind or body, I have neither
Sons and daughters
Are they mine?
Once familiar, now benign.
Time for bed or time for tea
DOES NOT MATTER, can’t you see?
Broken bones one day will mend
Broken minds do not end.
Paranoia. Panic. Dreams.
Nothing ever as it seems.
Holding pattern. Purgatory.
Agonizing end of story.
Regret and sin, confession weeps.
Forgiveness…please? My soul to keep.
Child-like prayers, can You hear?
Silent screams in Spirit’s ear.
Tender Peace
Invade his soul.
Loving God, make him whole.
Glory’s touch. Eternal light.
Radiance, diffuse this night
Balm the heart. Salve the pain
Lose this world and You he'll gain.
Forever healed, end of strife
Truth, a person, kiss of life.
As a nurse practitioner currently focused in the geriatric world, I immediately recognized this as rendition of a demented mind. You so eloquently captured the essence of their day-to-day reality. Thank you for sharing!
WOW!
Hi,
I can relate to this, as one who lost a father just a few days after father’s day. Broken mind mended, but bones did not. The weight of regrets is heavy.
PS …”as my siblings and I watched my father’s slow-motion, heart-breaking end-of-life, this poem stands as one of the most important pieces I’ve ever penned. As my heart bleeds words in witness of painful circumstance, I never let go of hope.”
That sounds like I could have written it – truly astonishing how we live parallel lives with humanity whom we call strangers.
I know we don’t know each other, but I DO know this loss; I hope this piece encouraged you in some small way, and in this moment, I pray for you and your family. Thank you for sharing your circumstance…it allows me to extend sympathy to you.
Stunningly beautiful, Robin. I love the prayer that wraps the words all up in hope. Thank you for sharing.
Cara!!!
You DID follow the link here. Thank you for your kind words…clearly, this was intensely personal. Your comment is blessing tonight :).
Woa. Robin, this hits every emotion in the book. What a road you must have traveled witnessing this. I love how it ends with the only Hope and Truth that heals.
Love you!
Kristen!!! I'm so happy you clicked on that link, too, even though the content is difficult. It means a lot to me (your comment). That is one of my favorite poems of all time and I think I represented it well, even all these years after writing it. Dementia is an ugly beast.