I remember our first night in Germany.
I can still smell the cold.
Taste the new.
Feel equal measure of exhiliaration and intimidation.
Hear the wonder.
See adventure 'round every bend.
That first sleep was met after eyes had been wide and ravenous for near 40 hours, when exhaustion had been exiled and adrenaline was in control.
I was a foreigner in a foreign land and everything was a shadowy reflection of what I knew it to be.
We didn't understand the bedding.
Weeks earlier, we had crated a pile of stuff we thought we'd need, comforts that fill a home.
Pictures to dress the walls.
Clothes (too many) to dress ourselves.
My favorite Swiss Diamond frying pan, the one that cost a bundle but delivered what it promised. It doesn't cook food, it conjures magic (and I'd buy the whole bloomin' set
if I could afford/justify it….).
Towels and washcloths, because we're particular about our linens…
And despite being told "German beds are sized differently than American beds," we sent along our coziest sheets, featherbed, my theraputic neck pillow and an old king-sized comforter.
The crate wasn't due for a week, so in the meantime we were to use the towels and linens provided by our landlord.
* * * * * * *
To stave off jetlag, we refused to nap. We went a thousand miles per hour throughout the day, acclimating to our new hometown, touring the grocery stores, visiting the butcher shop and learning the hard way that the Apotheke isn't the same thing as a CVS. Another story.
That evening, we met up with our fellow expats for dinner at one of the two Greek restaurants in town–oh, the amusement of trying to direct people when we didn't even know where we were ourselves, couldn't pronounce the street names, and the GPS spoke only in German. By the end of that meal (which remains a mystery to this day) I welcomed the complimentary shot of schnapps offered by the tavern owner "for digestive purposes," a custom for which I'm beginning to believe is, in fact, to aid digestion. But that's yet another story.
It's late when we arrive back to our apartment, and it's only then we beginning sorting through a mountain of linens in the Ikea-inspired wardrobe, and either due to exhaustion or American blinders we just. don't. get. it.
German beds and bedding are different from their American counterpart.
A German king-size bed is actually two singles within one large frame. Two, separate mattresses.
The bedding isn't for the entire king-size area, bottom sheets are for each single AND THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS A TOP SHEET.
But, see, we don't know this at the time and we're trying to find what we know; we keep looking and looking and I'm telling you, my landlord passed along A LOT of bedding and it's STILL not dawning on us THAT GERMAN BEDDING IS DIFFERENT!
And, its' not just the bottom sheets and lack of top sheets–they only use duvets with covers, AND THOSE DON'T EXIST IN KING-SIZE!
Also, you know those Euro shams we use for decorative pillows? THOSE you sleep on here. I think. Maybe not. Suddenly I'm confused and worried my landlord will find this post and say "YOU SLEPT ON THE SHAM PILLOWS? **THAT'S AGAINST THE GERMAN LINEN LAWS AND WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO EVICT THE IGNORANT AMERICANS**" except they don't speak great English and they probably would've stopped reading by now.
There are sleeping pillows, too, but not a single pillow case that fits them. They're rectanglier than American sleeping pillows and I have yet to discover cases that fit them. Even when I've looked in homegoods stores THAT SELL THE SLEEPING PILLOWS, I've only seen Euro shams.
Are you following me? Am I explaining this okay?
We do the best we can, a pitiful attempt at figuring out this new German Way (the first of many instances), bottom-sheeting the mattress, and picking out two duvets and some pillows. I should also mention the heat hadn't been turned on in our apartments until the day we arrived, and it was cold–below freezing outside and inside not much warmer.
So I stacked a few more duvets on top of me, acting out some Deutschland version of the Princess and the Pea but without the pea.
S o m e h o w soul and spirit finally settled down and we survived the night.
When our crate arrived the next week, I kissed my king-size feather mattress topper and king sheets and king comforter, worried not a bit that they were larger than the two single mattresses they covered.
That was then, ten months ago almost to the day, and there was snow on the ground like there is now.
* * * * * * *
Ten months have overflowed time and space and tonight is my last night in my German apartment.
My featherbed and cozy sheets and therapeutic pillow and king comforter were crated yesterday, on their way home ahead of us.
We knew how to make up the beds with our landlord's linens this time, but we held onto two pillow cases for the German rectanglier sleeping pillows.
It's freezing outside but toasty inside. God, I'm going to miss radiant floor heating. Once it cranks up, it's goooood.
I've been saying my good-byes all week, never knowing when someone would jerk the tears right out of my heart.
I never saw this coming. Real friendship. Strong community. And though I'm ready to go home and regain some sense of normalcy, I'm astounded that it's this hard for me to go.
Our common bond is twofold: sharing the expat experience and a language. If you've lived in another country, you'll understand; if not, I don't think you can.
* * * * *
I can smell change.
Taste the quiet.
Feel equal measure of anticipation and hesitation.
Hear the beauty through tears.
See everything but the future.
And I keep finding myself humming I Left My Heart in San Francisco.
* * * * * *
Dedicated with affection to those who've made all the difference in my Year of Living Dangerously.
Hello from an American in Zurich, I just found your blog (again) after a long absence — and realized too late that you are just above me in Germany. Or were 🙂
Being an expat changes you in big and small ways. I challenge you to hang onto the good things learned from being an “auslander” – an “other”. You never look at a person who is a fish out of water the same again.
As for duvets and twin mattresses side by side, they work great for me and my hubby! I’m a more restless sleeper than he, and he is not bothered much if I toss a bit, plus he can be a blanket hog; having each our own duvet solves that problem perfectly!
And I love our radiator heat!
I hope your re-entry goes well. God bless and safe journey to you.
Absolutely love this post. I spent a year in the Netherlands and we are now just starting our 2nd of 2 years in Scotland as expats. And your comment “Our common bond is twofold: sharing the expat experience and a language. If you’ve lived in another country, you’ll understand; if not, I don’t think you can.” is so true. There are expats in the Netherlands that I still feel closer to than any one I’ve met in Scotland, because there we were all fish out of water, where here I have to ‘blend’ in with the Scots. Look forward to learning about your reentry. So glad I found your blog.
Praying for you as you transition home, Robin.
I hope you find your footing and bedding quickly back on your native soil, friend. Christmas – a hard time to leave I’m sure, but oh what a time to come home. Welcome back!
xxx
You know I know.
Much love, dear friend. Coming home, as sweet as it is, is hard.
I’ve been most surprised by the culture shock I’ve experienced since being back.
Many prayers as you travel and settle in.
xo
Robin,
Beautiful post. I read a couple others as well. I especially find your post on intercession warm and meaningful. I think it is so important for praying for our friends “in the moment”, if at all possible. If not, write it down and when you (we) speak that prayer, let that friend know.
While I have never been out of the country…or even boarded a plane in my 35 years (close your jaw now 😉 ), I have thoroughly enjoyed your pictures through Instagram. Take care and have a most blessed, peaceful, joy-filled Christmas!
Alyce
Now I must go see what this Swiss Diamond frying pan is all about!
Oh my word..I can SOOO relate to this post and many others you’ve written. As a Michigander transplanted to Munich 17 mos. ago. I have loved reading my experience thru your eyes many times. When our 17 boxes arrived 3 wks. after arrival here, we were doing a MAJOR happy dance. Even w/a furnished, beautiful, turn of the century apt. it’s hard to sleep on a SHAM! Seriously!
You know that scene where the man and woman are running towards each other on a beach after an extended absence? That was me. With my pillow.
And tho I absolutely love our life here in Bavaria and know there will be tears when we leave in 7 mos…I said to my hubbie just the other night “I REALLY miss our bed at home..we don’t snuggle like we used to cuz of this darn crack in the middle of the bed!!”
Ironically I was thinking after reading one of your last posts that I needed to invite you to Munich and have lunch–because you are such a kindred spirit! Dagnabit. That’s procrastination for ya. ie: ADORE that traveling red dress idea! You are definitely a fellow princess-warrior…daughter of the most high King. (insert plug for one of my favorite books- Captivating)
I know I’ll miss walking to the grocery store w/my little woven basket, shopping every other day–never would have guessed that a yr. ago. Going back home to the US, loading it all up in the mini-van will be …well weird. We’ve truly been given a gift to have had this European experience, to meet & understand other cultures. To form deep friendships and see the world from outside the box we’ve lived in up to now. Planting our seeds for the Kingdom …it’s been a joy & honor…and honestly as hard as it was and is at times… (Like my little guy who had to learn German for schule & was terribly homesick last yr.) ..it has been such a dream come true. Well I wish you the absolute best back home Robyn ~ Tschuss & Auf Weidersehen! 🙂
Robin, may Jesus supernaturally hold and sustain your heart as you transition back to the US. Grace, grace, grace to you. You’re loved…
My family and I just hit month #6 of a 12-month adventure in northern Bavaria. I am laughing so hard at the whole figuring out the bedding thing. Yes! Shams = NOT good sleeping arrangement. And I would like to ask Germany exactly what is wrong with a top sheet?!? My husband and I do like the having our very own comforter thing, though.
I love reading your perspective about the things you have grown to love here in the land of Deutsch. Sometimes, when I’m missing my (fill in the blank with whatever is at home and not here), I have to remind myself that next year at this time, I will be missing this. Anyway — blessings for your re-entry. Looking forward to reading more.
Good grief… Totally signed in wrong when I left that comment. Take two… So you’ll know who I am! 🙂