So we entered our neighborhood well after dark last night, and as we make the right-hand turn that will eventually dead-end to my OWN bed, I see this familiar movement out of my peripheral vision–rabbit-like, squirrely even, vaguely doggish.
My fourth babeee :D! The only one I didn’t actually give birth to….poocharella, poocha-neska, Aussalina….AUSSIE! WAHOOO!! Car slams into park, rocking front to back from the abrupt reverse in momentum, side door begins its slide but before fully open, in she bounds into eight greedy arms, all selfishly wanting her first slurp hello. She was in full body wag, and bless her heart, didn’t know where to turn herself. Nice to be loved…and missed…that much, on both ends. (A neighbor takes care of our pets while we’re away, and we’re fortunate to live in a place that allows her the freedom of wanderin’.)
. . . . .
Then, there’s the part of the drive home that eventually led to me laughing so hard I cried. It began when I stepped into the driver’s seat to give Tad a break. It was then he “started”, innocently enough: looking for a receipt in my wallet. To his surprise, he actually found it immediately (right where I said it was).
But then, he kept going. The man kept.going. He decided to take it upon his self to “clean out” my wallet. The hair on the back of my neck began to prickle. I was feeling slightly violated. This was entertaining him. He found a receipt for a pair of jeans bought in May (later returned); a receipt from Great Clips for the WORST haircut Thomas has ever had (couldn’t get an appointment with Sherrie); a card for a free cut after six paid visits from Great Clips (although there are NO intentions of ever returning); one (sad, lonely) dollar; and his personal favorite, a receipt for $1.99 for shoelaces from Dick’s Sporting Goods (who knows when you might need to return THOSE?!).
But, no, he didn’t stop there!
Knowing I was handcuffed to the steering wheel, he began cleaning out my pocketbook! Now YOUR hair should be standing on the back of your neck!! I have the shivers just thinking about this again (lol). This is a LARGE purse, airlines would require me to have it checked as baggage. Section by section, pocket by pocket, he learned more about me than I’d want him to know, just when he thought (after 24 years) he knew everything. For the record, I
wanted to hurt him cuss him out smack him upside the head, but at 75 mph, wasn’t much I could do…but sit there and defend myself while he laughed AT me (now, he was entertaining the kids, too). There was nothing to hide (I’ve told y’all some of the more random things found in my purse AND car before), and yet, somehow everything to hide. I felt NAKED. Am I wrong, or don’t most women have enough junk in their purses to win LOTS of prizes from Monty Hall on “Let’s Make a Deal”??!
He didn’t stop there! Now I’m just shakin’ my head.
From my purse he continued his cleaning……our van has both a glove compartment and another storage area, and methodically he cleaned out both of those; he even tore out all the coupons we’ll never use in the booklet local schools sell (retail area discounts or freebies). I think he cleaned out the two pockets on the door, but stopped short of the hidden drawer beneath the seat (he must’ve forgotten about it, I didn’t remind him).
He kept a running commentary on everything he found, he was just a little too amused to suit me. At some point I decided to ignore him…he was like a kid on an Easter egg hunt. Let him have his fun.
About three miles from home, and after over nine hours in the car, I re-thought the whole above scenario and started laughing. Out loud. Uncontrollably. Through the snorts, I told the family it just hit me–the difference between me and Tad. I relieve him for two hours behind the wheel and he’s morphs into a one-man cleaning frenzy, could not sit still and RELAX (until well into the second hour). Me? I’m perfectly satisfied to do one of five things, none of which require physical exertion or qualify as cleaning ANYTHING: deep, heady, stimulating conversation (ok, sometimes it’s just light banter), READ, snack, write or SLEEP. That’s it.
And THAT, my little bloganistas, about sums me and Tad up in a nutshell. It made him lol, too. Ain’t nothin’ better than a laugh-induced endorphin high. And writing about it is my little payback to him;).
Oh……..and the feline…. When we got home, Callie was nowhere to be found. She hid for maybe an hour. When she finally decided to bless us with her presence, she ignored us and beelined straight to her food dish. But even she couldn’t ignore my fingernails and Rachel’s lovin’ for long…her purrs were loud and involuntary. So take that, kitty beast, we know you missed us, too, even if you don’t know how to full body wag or slurp us hello.
Oh……..the last clue…
It’s a small world after all ;).
Okay, what do moon pies have to do with Orlando?
Laughed at the pocketbook cleaning. Yikes! I volunteered to clean out my own wallet a week ago and found receipts so old and faded that I couldn’t figure out what they were for.
Disneyworld or Disneyland…
..the other two clues left me heading down into the water on my third and last gulp for air.
Heather, VERY good…I live in Tennessee, Moon Pies & Little Debbies are born very nearby;).
Pamela…….B-I-N-G-O! VERY glad you didn’t sink all the way into the watery abyss. More on my adventures soon.
Put your comment and Heather’s together, you’ll know where I was, part of the time, anyway;).
That is too funny and I have receipts in my purse from ages ago. I have nothing to hide in my purse either but I tend to feel that violation when it has been invaded.
LOL!! Our husbands would get along great – this totally sounds like something my DH would do! He has me ROFL on a daily basis. I just hope that he doesn’t somehow come across this post and get any bright ideas…..I think I’d better clean my purse!
Bravo Tad!! What is it with you wimmin? Why do you carry crap around?
And now the important question: did Tad actually do something with the crap, like put it in a plastic bag to throw away, or did he just make fun of you and put it back? He loses half a bravo if he just put it back.
Disney – somewhere! I don’t know.
VEry funny about the wallet cleaning. A person could have a filed day with all the stuff I pile in there…
DISNEYWORLD – and what did “hitting the target” and “skating” and “Hop til you drop” have anything to do with THAT? You need some serious lessons on how to leave proper clues. Goodness sakes alive, chile.
Yep, I thought Disney just from that clue alone. But really, I have NO clue. None. I was hoping it would come to me. It hasn’t.
I think we need a blantently obvious clue.
I haven’t entered because I’m too lazy, plus I thought someone would have it by now, but since they don’t….it’s the Kennedy Space Center at Cape Canaveral.
Shit! didn’t see the last clue: EPCOT. But then cape canavaral fits too if you’re looking back from the space shuttle.