I have tried my darndest to donate blood TWICE this week.  They kicked me out both times.

[1]  "Ma’am, I’m sorry, but we can’t take you until that active, festering, Gargoylesque fever blister crusts over."

(Okay, okay, that’s not what they really said, but it’s sho nuff what I heard!)  At least I only have Type 1 herpes simplex virus (is it wrong for me to think it’s funny that it’s characterized as "infecting those body tissues that lie "above the waistline" "?).  If I had the "other" herpes, I don’t think I could give at all.

[2]  "Ma’am, I’m sorry but your blood is too watered down."

I’m anemic…does this mean I have an EXCUSE for being so daggum tired all the time?  And to think I just thought it was because I’m not sleeping well (again). 

To add insult to injury, the pricked BOTH my middle fingers to see if they could get my 10.5 iron reading up to 12 1/2 (I think).  Pricking twice in four minutes does not generate iron for the ol’ blood. 

Now, I’m typing under duress…YOU go wrap band-aids around your middle fingers and see how it hinders.  And yet, strangely, I’m c o m p e l l e d  to write about it, in spite of the hardship…hmmmm.

So…with all this adversity first thing in the morning, what else could I do?  I accidentally binge-shopped at Target…LOOK WHAT THEY HAD ON CLEARANCE, Y’ALL!  I COULDN’T HELP IT!!!  GO!  Quick, to your local store and clean ’em out before someone else does!

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