Prompted by my admission that sometimes I m i g h t wet my pants, readers shared their most embarrassing moments in the comment threads of those posts; a few told me they would love to blog it, just not at THEIR blogging spot. We’ll call it Blogging Public Service that I invited them to write it and guest post it here at PENSIEVE…’cause we ALL know I’m all about self-effacing public humiliation laughing “at” or “with”, just as long as you laugh! If you’d like to share YOUR story, include it here in comments or email me!
Thanks to Michelle, one of Inspired Bliss’s wonderful contributors, for sharing her story; awkward as it is…I didn’t know whether to laugh or CRY!
My worst, most humiliating, horrifying,
embarrassing moment happened about a year ago: I dropped a cell phone on a dead
Not dead as in laying in a coffin dead, but freshly dead, as in just
died. I am always deeply uncomfortable in these situations because I have
absolutely no idea what proper deathbed etiquette is. I usually just fumble
around and do the best I can while my super-star pastor husband says and does
everything with grace, compassion, and eloquence.
So we’re standing around the dead body, and I’ve
got my cell phone in my hands. I think we were going to pray or something, and
as I reached out to grab someone’s hand, my hand slipped. My cell phone landed
with a surprisingly loud thud right in the middle of the dead guy’s chest.
Every single person in the room looked at the phone, and then looked at me. I
could have fallen through the floor. I wished I could fall through the floor.
My beloved husband gave me a pitiful look, picked up the cell phone, and handed
it back to me.
If someone you know dies, don’t call me to come. I
will not bring comfort. I will be awkward and uncomfortable, and you will be as
well. I will call or send a nice card.
Editor’s note: the one time I’m thankful NOT to have a picture to accompany the post!
Is it wrong that I laughed…hard?
OH. MY. GOODNESS. Sorry, but laughter is overtaking the fact that it was a dead body. Sounds like something I’d do. ROTFL!!!!
I’m laughing too! It’s a bit like when something funny strikes you in church and you simply can’t stop laughing even though heads are turning towards you. Sorry about the person who died though.
Yeah – I’ll bite… Yesterday – most embarrassing moment ever. I’m 7.5ish months pregnant, so I see bellies around me all the time. I was in a shop and spotted another little round one. I told the lady, “You are the second pregnant belly other than my own that I’ve seen in here today.” Well, she looked at me, eyes wide as saucers, and shook her head slowly. I actually said, “Did I just DO THAT?!?” After falling over myself apologizing, I backed away slowly and walked (almost ran) out of the shop.
Let me tell you. Shoe leather tastes terrible!
Isn’t laughter wonderful? I tried to think of my most embarrassing moment and there are so many competing for the title! The one that stands out in my mind though, and I think may be the winner, I will share.
I had been sick, stomach bug. I do not throw up, but just get sick and then it comes out the other end. Diarrhea for several days and then I thought I was doing better. I wanted so much to go to church and so on Sunday morning thought I was better enough to make it ok.
We stood up to sing and my stomach and intestines began protesting. I sat down a bit hoping I could hold off on the inevitable. I could not. I ran to the bathroom taking my Bible and purse with me. From there I went out to my car to make it home before I needed to go again. It was a 35 minute ride home and I was not feeling very well. I think my foot was a bit heavy as I came through the flats and sure enough a cop was coming right at me. I slowed, but the pain was getting to me. No bushes to hide in, no bathroom close, I watched the cop turn around and put on his lights.
By now I was sick and not sure I was going to make it home at all. He taps on my window and I was trying to get out the paperwork for him. I could not find anything I was shaking so bad. With him standing at the window and me flipping through the paper in the glove box he asked “Do you know you were speeding?” I blurted out “I am sorry sir, I went to church and had to leave because I have diarrhea and I need to get home and don’t think I am going to make it”… all the papers now flipped on to the floor …”I am sorry, I know the insurance card is in here I just can’t find it” ” I need to get home”. I think he was ready to go in his pants! He said to just show him my license and I did. He came back and handed it to me and told me to get home just not so fast.
I am sure I saw him splitting a gut on the way back to the car!
Driving home I could not believe that all blurted out of my mouth and I am sure the officer in Maine is still talking about the kooky lady!
The dead guy story reminded me of when my mother passed away in Sept. I went to “say goodbye” before they came to take her body. Afterwards my husband and I were talking to the nurses in their station. They were saying if I needed any help there were different options and that there would probably be rough moments in the next few weeks or months. About that time, my brother called me on my cell phone. The ringtone I have for him is Monty Python’s “Always Look On The Bright Side of Life”…needless to say, everyone in the office started laughing…a nice break at a very solemn time!
can you hear me now?
That definitely beats my most embarrassing by a mile.
That’s an hilarious story ! I have something similar. When my grandma died, our son (7 years old at that time) went to the cimitary climbed in the grave to mesure if it was deep enough for his beloved great grandma. He only got out when he was sure that the coffin would fit. We all laughed except the graveyard guy !
Oh lordie. THAT’S a goodie!
That’s breath-stoppingly horrendous. Absolutely morticianfying. BwwwaaaHaHaHa! I’ll e-mail you a link to my most embarrassing moment. I couldn’t blog about it, but the husband did. Wasn’t that sweet of him?