{Please read Part One for context}

A phone call with my sister left me wondering what impression I left from my previous post's stopping point; she seemed to think I was living under a weight of self condemnation and guilt.

Neither couldn't be farther from the truth, especially where this conversation was concerned. 

Was I disappointed my child saw hypocrisy in my faith?   Of course.  Was it a surprise that was the origin of Taylor's loss of respect for me?  Definitely. 

I share this story, not because I'm drowning in a riptide of mother guilt, hoping your words will become a life-preserving buoy; instead, I share it because it's an excellent example of "an adventure in missing the point".

Recall what I said before–

"What ensued was an eye-opening lesson in how parents can presume
wrongly where their children are concerned, and they, in turn, do the

Not only did I inaccurately imagine what Taylor was thinking, even after I was told, I continued temporarily to misunderstand my child's perspective.

Immediately, I began rattling off a list of how I could see this hypocrisy observed (and judged):  living inconsistently?  offering lip service at the expense of life service?  saying one thing and doing another?

Thankfully, Taylor and I have a relationship that allowed clarification of my confusion without consequence.  And…what (s)he was talking about never even crossed my mind….

Morning devotions…it was about our before-school devotions.

Huh?  What?!  A loss of respect because we had morning devotions?!?  

Taylor thought I insisted on this each morning so I could "check it off the list" and because it was the prescribed "Christian thing to do." 

This child has no patience or interest in list checking or obligatory Christian requirements (which I applaud); I was more than a little surprised, though–and honestly, somewhat relieved–this was "all" it was.  While it was disappointing to learn my children saw this as my motive, it gave me opportunity to explain the truth:  a) the desire to focus Godward at the beginning of each day; b) to pray (out loud) with and for my kids (or for them to do so for one another); and c) to model by example the priority I place on an intimate, on-going relationship with Christ.

You see, I thought they DID know this!  I presumed it was understood "why" I was committed to a daily morning devotion.

Instead, it was a breeding ground for condemning judgment, misunderstanding and resentment, and loss of parental respect.  Lovely….

As our conversation came to a close, we talked about the judgmental attitude towards me, how that was sinfully seeded, too.  Taylor was glad to have been wrong.

Our transparent conversation was a wonderful opportunity not just to clear the air, but to see through each other's eyes; it was a reminder not to make assumptions that my children always understand my motives, and that it's important for them to at this age, so they're free to respond rightly–not react out of misconception.  

As your children move from elementary age to their middle and high school years, I encourage you to create time and space to have uninterrupted conversation; it's not about quality, it's about quantity 

Even if you're just sitting in a parked car in your garage :).

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