Sara is dying. Knowing this keeps her present in my mind and prayerful in my heart.
For as long as I can remember, my husband and I have played this little game; well, less a game and more a practice: Whenever anything happened to someone we know–and by anything I mean typically a bad thing–we'd try to imagine how we'd hope to respond to the circumstance.
When friends walked the trek of infertility, what would we do if I couldn't get pregnant? Would we adopt? Would we invest in treatments that might change the mind of my womb?
When my sister was diagnosed with breast cancer (after both my mother and grandmother died from the disease), what would we do if the same lot fell to me?
When our dear friend Cindy suffered permanent brain damage as a result of an accident and her husband left her, would we have remained committed to our marriage when personalities changed?
How would our lives under fire reflect Christ?
Our logic, I suppose, was to think through how we wanted to behave to live out the pre-eminence of God in our lives. Talking about and thinking out loud before we were walking through unexpected tragedy--before feelings and emotions stirred reaction–was our way of orienting our minds and preparing in advance to make good decisions, tough choices, when life got hard.
Because life gets hard.
So we'd watch how others responded in their difficult circumstances, and talk through and imagine how we'd hope to respond if we were in their shoes. Sometimes we'd find ourselves hoping we'd respond the same way; in other instances we'd pray that out response would be vastly different.
Because of Sara's illness, she has been confined to her apartment for years…years…pain, her body's often-companion. The past several weeks have been the worst, which is saying a lot.
Sara's response to her debilitating, life-ravaging illness? Joy.
I met Sara through our writing team at incourage. For the past two years, she has been a consistent voice of encouragement to me–through her words on her blog, comments to my posts, emails or skype conversation, and most recently, text messages. Telling someone they're consistent is one of the highest compliments you'll ever receive from me–in every instance she has ~
- been completely candid and honest, admitting her struggle or physical pain, yet remaining faithful
- luminously reflected Christ in her, great hope of glory
- acknowledged God's sovereignty and conceded that even her illness is part of His redemptive plan, to bring…to live…the Gospel, in a way not possible in perfect health.
Sara realized this week her death was imminent; on Tuesday she admitted through a heartbreaking-to-me-text that she felt different, that she thought it would happen soon. And she was ready.
Jessica, a precious friend of mine and a best friend of Sara's, has been in close contact with Sara and her family over the past several days. Everything that Jess shares demonstrate's Sara's consistent voice of praise to God, and love and consideration of others, concerned about how everyone else is doing.
She's worried about us and how her death will affect those who know and care about her!
She's not fearful. She is ready. She's wants you to know Christ.
Last week at our incourage writers retreat in Hilton Head Island, SC, we Skyped with Sara. Thanks to technology, we showed her the beach and our beautiful setting. As best we could, we hid the tears. The moment–pure joy…broken beauty; we sensed its importance and captured it.
Later, she told me it was the highlight of her year.
Through her illness and suffering, Sara is sharing and living the Gospel in a way not possible had she enjoyed perfect health. Left to me, she would have been healed right away and avoided this painful road; but in God's mysterious ways, He has deemed Sara worthy to tell a much different story.
Her faithfulness and beauty in the telling has changed lives, not through her own power but from the power that lives in and through her.
Sara had a decision to make so she chose joy and invited all of us to do the same.
Sara is dying well.
Sara has modeled how I'd hope to respond if I ever found myself in a similar circumstance…I'd want to respond just like her.
That is the highest compliment I'll ever give.
* * * * * *
Matthew Paul Turner (Jessica's husband) has written an achingly beautiful tribute for sweet Sara Frankl (aka @gitzengirl) I hope you'll take time to read. (Jessica's post today also has links to others who are sharing their thoughts about Sara's impact in their lives; her family is reading every account out loud to Sara.)
Steven Curtis Chapman's song With Hope has been incredible blessing this week; listen below, read the heart-lifting lyrics, and I think you'll be greatly encouraged. When you have hope, don't you have everything you need?
With much love,
~ Robin
This is not at all how
We thought it was supposed to be
We had so many plans for you
We had so many dreams
And now you've gone away
And left us with the memories of your smile
And nothing we can say
And nothing we can do
Can take away the pain
The pain of losing you, but …
We can cry with hope
We can say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
(There's a place by God's grace)
There's a place where we'll see your face again
We'll see your face again
And never have I known
Anything so hard to understand
And never have I questioned more
The wisdom of God's plan
But through the cloud of tears
I see the Father's smile and say well done
And I imagine you
Where you wanted most to be
Seeing all your dreams come true
'Cause now you're home
And now you're free, and …
We have this hope as an anchor
'Cause we believe that everything
God promised us is true, so …
So we can cry with hope
And say goodbye with hope
We wait with hope
And we ache with hope
We hold on with hope
We let go with hope
I’m so thankful for Sara and her ministry (inside her home) all these years. While she may have been trapped inside she didn’t let her wisdom stay locked away.
Praying for her entrance into eternity to be as sweet as her. God is so good!
This is beautiful, Robin. Sara has meant so much to so many. I am heartened to read everyone’s personal account of her impact on them.
No words, thanks for sharing yours!
Sweet friend… thank you for sharing your heart for Sara. Thank you for sharing a piece of your sweet life with Tad. My heart aches and tears flow as my sweet sisters loose a friend so precious. At the same time I am rejoicing with all of you in the glory of Sara’s life. I have and will always remain in complete awe of Sara and how well she has lived. I pray that the same will be said of me.
So grateful for you. Every second… much love.
Beautiful.
Thank you for sharing Sara.
Grace.
Not many words – except thank you Robin. This is the community where ???? lives…here I stand…still.
“She’s not fearful. She is ready. She’s wants you to know Christ.” (tears)
God Bless and keep you and each and every one of yours Robin.
This is a beautiful tribute to an amazing woman of God. She will have many crowns for her waiting in heaven, to cast at the feet of her King Jesus. Thinking of you all, as you lose a dear friend and a wonderful part of your life, but thankful that her suffering will soon be past, and that she will soon be dancing and singing her heart out within the pearly gates of glory!
Thank you for sharing Sara with me. I read Matthew’s post and it brought me to tears. I am praying for Sara and for you and all of those that love her.
This was beautiful, Robin. Sara sure knows how to live life and love well. What a legacy she will leave behind!
I never met Sara, but yesterday I felt like a silent observer as so many I love and admire testified of her beautiful life. Then I went to her blog and read for a long time, and I wished I’d had the opportunity to get to know her.
This morning I was thinking about God’s calling on our lives — thinking of people I know and how they’ve embraced His plan even if it isn’t what they might have chosen. Sara came to mind, and it seemed to me that God’s calling on her life was to suffer well. As small, undesirable, and insignificant as that may sound to many, I can’t help thinking it is one of the highest, most Christ-like callings anyone might have.
May I embrace His plan for me as fully, and may He be as free to bless through me as He is (and will continue to be) through her.
Praying for grace and peace for you and the many who love her. What a beautiful soul. What a beautiful life.
Love to you, dear Robin.
Jeanne
Thank you for this, Robin. I, too, have been following Sara’s journey. May God walk beside her as she enters His his heavenly home.
Such beautiful words, Robin. Thank you for this post. I have never met Sara in person, but have read her amazing, inspiring words regularly on her blog. I so agree with this: “Sara has modeled how I’d hope to respond if I ever found myself in a similar circumstance…I’d want to respond just like her.” She will always inspire me to choose joy.
I hope I’d respond with joy, too.
Beautiful tribute to our girl, Robin. Just beautiful.
She is a bright light in this world…
Wanda, yes! What a beautiful thought: she is entering eternity. Indeed, it WILL be sweet!
Leigh, work and other commitments have kept me from reading many of the others’ accounts so far, but I agree–to see the amazing impact Sara had is heartening!
Bebe…I love you xo.
Dedra, maybe because we’re so close to the same stage in life, I hear you differently. Does that even make sense? You’ve got the gift of affirmation and I’m thankful for our meeting online and off :). xo
Heather, so odd, but I couldn’t not write about it…I guess it’s how I’m processing in part….
Pamela, I kinda wanted to write a post with that being the only word. You took care of that :). xo
Craig, thanks for your encouraging words.
Anne, the thought of Sara singing and dancing, without the pain and struggle is the happiest thought of the day. Thanks for sharing that image :).
Jane Anne, Matthew and his wife Jessica are like Sara’s family; and Jess is sharing updates as she receives them. Reading each of their posts about her broke my heart again; as much as I care, their relationship is exponentially deeper. I’m so glad you had opportunity to read him (and hopefully Jessica’s).
Rachel, yes! A BEAUTIFUL legacy :).
Jeanne, your wisdom and encouragement always inspires and reaches me in the deepest places. So very thankful you were prompted to read today; and I love your perspective on Sara’s calling. I understand exactly what you mean, believing how worthy God found her to be to carry this. Kingdom living is rarely what you expect….
Shelly, I’m thankful you’re praying her home :). xo
Caroline, now THAT would absolutely bless her socks off!! I wonder how many people will think of Sara the next time they find themselves in difficult circumstances and say “I choose joy!” because of her!! Whoa! That’s reason to celebrate!
Kristen, you are one of the most joy-filled people I know. It radiates from the center of who you are :). xo
Karmyn, perfectly said :). Perfectly.
wow. lump in my throat.
This is beautiful, Robin! Sara’s words have always been so positive and encouraging. The fact that she’s so concerned about others in a time like this is phenomenal. Thank you for sharing your heart and thoughts with us. And, I agree, MPT’s post was so perfect a tribute for Sara.
Beautiful, Robin – Sara has ministered to me so many times and when I heard the news, I was a wreck. Consistent is a wonderful way to describe her, for she became a constant companion in my inbox, my thoughts & prayers. I could count on her for delivering wisdom and truth with a perspective others simply could not. I always left her site wanting more fully to use my gifts wherever I was and to boldly Choose JOY.
Oh Robin, beautiful, beautiful Robin. I love you so. This post is such a gorgeous and honest tribute to our gorgeous and honest friend.
Robin…I was browsing your blog for soFAB (M&M’s) this morning as could not leave w/o commenting for Sara!!! What a lovely tribute to a friend. Bless you and bless Sara. I am sending healing energy to Sara and warm hugs to surround you group. Your spirit is amazing!!! This is what is important. Ii had a dear blogging friend die of breast cancer…I miss her still!!
I am all signed up for the retreat in April. Wish I had known you all were going to Hilton Head…it is just a hop, skip and jump up 95 for me. Next time I would love to join you!!!