Last night I was almost finished with the post explaining Rachel’s mysterious mass about the same time the Florida Gators were schooling Ohio State in the subtleties of playing football, when I got the call.
The call I had been anticipating for over a year, the call I prayed would come sooner rather than later, the call I dreaded. The call that has made caller ID both my friend and my enemy…my frenemy.
My father died.
God that’s weird to write.
I loathe euphemisms for death, it is what it is no matter how you dress it up or attempt to say it nicely.
I’ve been awake for over an hour now, my sinuses are exploding so I got up to take something… I decided to let y’all know because some of you have asked….some of you have been reading me long enough to know this was coming. For those of you who have spoken when you didn’t know quite what to say, thanks for your words…they encouraged.
My heart grieves, yet I am thankful to have found solace in the arms of my husband, who knew when to both hold ME and hold his tongue, not trying to “say” anything to make me feel better. And when he did speak, he knew to make me laugh–when I said, “I’ve got to get a tissue” he responded with something like “That’s a good idea, you’re snotting in my ear.”
I’m thankful there was a last, lovely moment of beauty that my sister shared with Daddy…she deserved…she needed it the most. As she prayed for him, his eyes brightened, opened wide (his first alert move in days) and then….he closed them, and that was it….
I’m thankful to have spent the day with him Saturday, and “knew” it was time for me to write his obituary, something my family asked me to do a year ago, when we were told then his death would occur in months. I knew after I wrote it Sunday…I just knew.
I’m thankful for a God who understands the pain of watching someone you love suffer, who has a provision for eternity which helps me to keep this temporal sting in perspective.
So, this is all for now. Thanks for your kind thoughts and prayers…I know they will buoy me in the days to come.
Here are a few posts/links where I’ve written about Daddy before, in case we’ve just “met” and you have no idea what I’m talking about….